XP: Support group craziness

This is me after every single support group meeting I go to...  The level of absurdity from post-ops that should know better astounds me!  My husband and I keep going back because we feel like SOMEONE needs to tell the pre-ops how it really is because they'll be certain to fail if they follow the advice of these well-meaning idiots.   

Case in point:  last night was our summer "potluck".  I hate these things.  Listen to some of the offerings that people brought: 

- Sugar-free Russell Stover's candy (I kid you not) 

- Sugar-free gum brought by someone 2 weeks post-VSG.  Aren't we all told to avoid gum immediately post-op?  It was in the written materials that I got but she obviously didn't read them.

- Brownies made with black beans.  So what if they're flour free?  There was 3/4 c. sugar in the recipe and it was sprinkled with real chocolate syrup and choco-chips!  

- Crackers

- Apple, pineapple, walnut salad mixed with light Cool Whip and sugar-free butterscotch pudding.  Can you say "carb hell"? 

The only thing that I could really eat was some cheese cubes, the shrimp that I brought and a little bit of broccoli slaw -- which I found out later had sugar in it too! 

Then we were in our small groups and I had this guy complaining that he hasn't lost anything in months.  He went from 380 to 250 and is now "stuck".  Well, once I started quizzing him a bit I found that he doesn't drink enough water and he doesn't eat a protein forward diet.  He admits to "loving salads" and he eats those first and then he "just can't get in all his protein".  Well, duh!!  Quit eating the stupid salad, Frank, which is probably loaded with fat and calories that are doing nothing for you.  And then he says he's eating pasta, rice and bread again.  And he knows he's eating "healthy" because he eats lots of fruit and veggies.  Well, no WONDER you aren't losing any weight, mister!  

This is a guy that had his surgery 9 days prior to me and he was stunned to hear how I eat and drink.  He was STUNNED that my husband has lost 64 lbs. in 4 months.  And this guy and I had the same surgeon and same procedure - so what does that tell you?  

Honest-to-god, I would just throw in the towel and call it a day if the group wasn't held in the same building that I work in.  Hubby believes we are doing a service by referring everyone who will listen to the OH website - lol!  

The ONE positive from last night is I met someone who lives in Omaha and is an OH member too.  She came up to me and said, "I saw you on OH and you added me as a friend!"  So that was the highlight of my night.  

Interesting how folks will blame regain on the surgery not working, yet they continue to cram the same old crap in their mouths as they did before. Being my surgeon is so far away, and I'm not sure if there are support groups where I live, but Thank God for sane people on OH!

Wow!  

This makes me feel good about my occassional slips  -- at least I eat smart all day long (the night may be a different story).

LOL!!!!!

Yeah... See I am not AS bad as I though!!! CARBS are made by the DEVIL!!!

I swear they are.... 

I am also amazed by how little research and information some people gather before getting this surgery.  This is a life-altering action - research, ponder, read the boards and then after much deliberation make the decision!!!  Also, floored when people don't know what they should eat.   I realize we all don't follow the same eating strategy but some people don't have a strategy at all - and if it isn't working, go back to the nutritionist!  Okay, vent over.

Tracy,  Thank you for your post.  I am to have the sleeve soon, date TBD, but I went to my first support group on Tuesday and I left feeling very discouraged+ years ago and the other have were people like me getting ready to have surgery.  They went around the room and told their story, starting with the side of the room that has had surgery.... by the time they got to the other side, people were saying things like "I am scheduled to have the surgery soon, but I don't want to gain it back."  There was 1 lady sitting beside me that had surgery 6 weeks ago and has lost 52 lbs!  She was so nice and talked to me after about surgery, eating and exercising.  She said this was her second time to this group and last time it was a lot more positive.  I hope so, because exactly like you said above, it is so discouraging to think the surgery will not work long term.

I can't believe the things they brought to a support group potluck!!  If that is what they think is healthy, what do they think is NOT healthy?!?!?!  I'm still learning, but I know that you have to eat your protein first, then if still hungry (once you get to solids), fill up on some veggies (not covered in fattening dressings)

I look forward to more encouraging posts from you! :)

Thanks!

Elizabeth

Hang in there, Elizabeth, and listen to the people in your group and on this forum that have long-term, proven success.  I'm not one of those people yet.  But I got to the point I'm at now BECAUSE I listened to people that know a lot more than I do about doing this for life.  

This amazes me too.  If I'm having major elective surgery, I'm researching EVERYTHING before I go to the hospital.  How can people not do this?!

I find the diet of so many post-ops to be incomprehensible and so frustrating.  Why go through all of this to go back to old eating habits - even if capacity is diminished?  I feel ya!!!

I finally quit going to my local support group since it was suboptimal.  It wasn't even worthwhile to be there to help out n00bs.  :(