Unhappy and Scared need to Vent

Hi Everyone, I don't write often and usually hide behind the scenes but am on here everyday and love the OH site and everyone on here.  I am a little over 4 years out and in the past year have gained 18 lbs and scared that this weight is slowing coming back on.  I know what I need to do but have fallen back into my old eating habits and that really scares me.  I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because I worked so hard to lose this weight and realize how easy it is to gain it back and that really scares me also.  I will be 56 next week, just moved to a new apartment a few months ago which I really don't like which I think is adding to my falling back to my old eating ways.  It's just so hard to get back into the groove, I start the day off in the right direction and slowly as the day goes on it all starts to go down hill.  I'm at a loss right now, I'm so unhappy about this weight gain which doesn't help with trying to get back on track. 

So, once again I am starting my new day and will stay on track (I hope).  Don't let anyone tell you that you took the easy way out buy having gastric surgery, because it is not easy at all.  I just feel so lost right now!

Sorry I just needed to write some of my feelings down, maybe this will help with getting this off my chest.

T-

I'm sorry you're having a bad time.  I may not be the best person to post to this since I haven't had surgery yet, but I'm gonna anyway!  Just take a moment to breath.  I look at your numbers and see  you lost more than 5x that 18lbs not that long ago.  You have what it takes.  Make a plan for yourself.  Write down what you want/need to do.  Do you have access to a therapist?  Or maybe you can find a support group where you live now?  We all need help sometimes but you obviously can do this because you already have!!  One day at a time. Good luck! 

~Mikki

Thanks Mikki, I actually went out to the beach for a while to clear my head that's my go to place to relax and not think about anything.  I'm going to take one day at a time, not buy what I shouldn't be putting in my mouth and so far today things seem to be going ok.  The support group that is part of the hospital where I had my surgery really isn't much of a help, most are newbies and the discussions are centered around starting out, so they really look to me and other vets for help which I do offer my thoughts and suggestions.  But, here on OH I do get the words of wisdom, the caring thoughts and suggestions which do help a lot.  With that said, my head is in the direction (for now) and I plan on keeping it there.  Good Luck for when you do have your surgery! 

Toni

I'm so sorry to hear your sadness and frustration.  Hang in there.  You'll get thru it.

I've had many years of that experience of starting every day planning to eat well, and failing over and over again.  The one thing that helped me is realizing how carbs fuel these cravings.  For me, if I eat carbs, its all down hill.  Perhaps if you cut carbs way back - for me I try to keep carbs at 25 grams per day or less - this might reduce the cravings that are driving the lapses.  My only carbs come from dairy and healthy low carb veggies. 

If you can stick to the low carb regimen for a few days, you may see the shift in the cravings.  Its hard to do, but if you know it will get easier in a few days, that may help you break the cycle.

best wishes,

Carol

I agree with you Carol, I noticed if I have carbs like bread or pasta.. IM DOOMED!! very hard to get back on track. 

sadly a struggle for me everyday :(

Thanks Carol, it is so hard sometimes guess a lot of it is due to missing most of the foods "we" all used to eat which got us overweight in the first place.  Carbs are definitely my down fall, I am writing everything down and trying to keep carbs between 25 and 30 (closer to 25 if possible).  You have done a great job on your weightloss keep up the great work!!

Best,  Toni

Don't be scared..... this is very common and it's starting to be a frequent type of posting.

I've been getting many PM's on this subject along with the normal 6 month sloow down.

I read in your profile that you had a 12lbs. gain in a year..... This is how close you are and your not that far off.

100cals a day over your balance point is about a 10lbs. gain in a year.

You know what to do..... back to basics. But first you need to get into the proper state of mind and really want it or really want to not get fat again.....whichever way motivates you !!!

It's easy to fall into the trap of a little of this and a little of that..... it adds up, just a little of that can be 200cals and that's the difference !!!!

This is why "moderation" is the most dangerous word in weight control. How long is piece of string?

Vent away !!! get it out there, than draw a line in the sand and start a new chapter of your story !!!!!

frisco

Frisco you're the best!!!  I see your posts your delicious food plates and you give me the inspiration that I neeed.  It is so easy to slip back into what got me overweight in the first place.  But it's true you really need to want to be "thin" to keep on track and this is definitely my wake up call.  I'm keeping track and getting my head/act together to lose these damn few pounds. 

Toni

Hopefully this isn't to harsh but it sounds like you need to face reality here. The weight IS slowly coming back if you have gained 18 lbs in the past year. It IS BECAUSE you are falling into old eating habits. You know that is how you got fat in the first place. 

If it were easy there wouldn't be weight problems. You do know what to do but it sounds like before you can do that you need to take a look at WHY you are falling off the wagon and find other ways to deal with them. I would say the first step would be to get rid of, in the garbage not your mouth, all of the foods you have on hand that you know you are not supposed to eat and make sure you don't buy any more. If you don't have it you can't eat it. Then start making small changes every day/week that bring you back to what you are supposed to do. 

Not harsh at all, going on the scale this morning was my wake up call that I have to stop!!!!  It's true, if I don't buy it I can't eat it, and in the long run it's me who makes that decision.  I worked to hard to lose the weight and I am not going to lose this battle.

Thanks for your words, it doe**** home but it also makes me stop and think about what I am doing to myself.

Toni