Crankiness ... is this resentment?

I am having a blast on vacation with my family.  But I have noticed later in the afternoons / evenings I find myself getting a little snappy.  I'm really not sure this is all that unusual -- as too much family time is hard.  But I am wondering if it is resentment building in me because I see how much they eat.  

There has been so much food around.  I have gone off plan a bit and feel guilty about it.  I am trying not to beat myself up, but working to build strategies to deal with it.  I have asked that they have their appetizers at the table while I'm in the kitchen, so it isn't right in front of me.  I've also asked my (8 months pregnant sister) not to keep ice cream in the house, but rather I'd take her 2 miles down the street to get an ice cream when she wants it.  They have all agreed very nicely to this. 

I know I shouldn't have to ask this stuff, but I am still a recovering addict.  When it is there it is hard for me to say no, or when I do say yes, just to take a reasonable portion.  

Thank goodness, I have complete control over what comes into my house.  I get my son treats, but I get the stuff that doesn't tempt me.  

Have you seen resentment build in you like this?  

I am looking forward to my next appointment with my therapist!

What Ive noticed about myself is that when I see a very obese person (total strangers)

I want to start up a conversation and hand them my surgeons business card..

I don't...but I want to! I want to say...save your life, you'll be so much happier!

I refrain from this out of fear of being punched in the face!! Cause it's none of my business! 

Now that being said..you don't want to become one of those preachy know it alls like the ex smokers who feel it's their duty to tell everyone who smokes how bad it is, and how their killing themselves..

and nothing for nothing..SHAME ON YOU for denying your 8 MONTHS PREGNANT sister her ICE  CREAM!!

this is your problem to address no one else's!

this is a journey to health but also it's so emotional, my crutch is food..I use it to de stress, to forget to obliterate even when I'm bored! it is no different than any addict, but it's my problem to work thru and unless you want to become a shut in b/c you can't deal watching others eat, you will have to put some strategies into place..

I go to dinner with friends, I order what I want, I can only eat less than half then I take the rest home..

Have what you want to eat, this surgery is not a punishment but a Godsend!

remember this is for the rest of our lives, you need to learn to live with it.

I don't have trouble too much with a meal out or socializing.

 My trouble now is being in a house where there is so much junk.  When I am tired and my defenses are low it is so hard.  I know this is my issue and not anyone else's.  I am trying to figure it out, but very greatful that my family is willing to help me while I'm figuring it out.

I ran into the same situation this weekend.  We had tons of family here for my daughter's college graduation and her open house request was for a dessert and candy bar.  I should have said "no"...but I didn't.  And boy did I fall face-first into the sugar on Saturday and Sunday - ugh!  I was wise enough to get it all out of the house on Sunday night but I'm paying for it big-time this week.  

My M.O. is to stuff down all the feelings, get resentful and then when the pressure is off I'll "reward" myself by eating whatever I want.  I felt myself starting to do that on Monday after everyone was gone....but I was able to get it reined in.  

You ARE a recovering addict and I'm proud of you that you can set boundaries for yourself with others; be glad that your family is willing to respect those boundaries because a lot of families would say "screw you - your problem".  :-)  

I'm definitely an emotional eater so I can see this being a problem for me as well. I also know that having a supportive family will help me a lot. Don't feel bad about how you feel... I think for you it is only natural to feel that way

You have a very understanding family.

I'm experiencing this to a certain degree, too. I've learned to listen to my thoughts a bit more..because I'm projecting my fears onto others. At first blush, I feel badly when I see people struggling with obesity...but as I tuned more into my thoughts, I was mourning. The grief and isolation I felt being morbidly obese. In many ways I have changed, but my thought patterns still need some work. There is a disconnect between the me from 7 months ago and the me today. I'm a work in progress! 

As for food resentment? It's pretty profound to go from eating a full plate of extra large portions to 1/4-1/2 cup of food. It kind of boggles the mind!  I've learned to occupy myself while others eat. I can't drink for 1/2 hour after I eat so I'm learning ways to stay occupied..conversation, fiddling with my phone, excusing myself to use the restroom, chewing some gum.

I still laugh at the Louis CK line..."The meal isn't over when you're full...the meal is over when you hate yourself" LOL It's amazing how quickly you get full and also how quickly one small bite can step over into the I Hate Myself zone. It takes practice to listen to your new tummy and learning when you're full. Measuring helps, but sometimes I feel like that little kid again..having to clean my plate because of the starving children. And cleaning my plate is an old habit. The new habit is putting the fork down. It's weird leaving food on the plate!

Colleen 

I think you're right about needing to build strategies to deal with the afternoon situation. Maybe see if you can schedule a massage during that afternoon period, or do something else nice for yourself--even use that time to go for a walk/run or work out? It sounds to me like around the afternoon you get tired, and your ability to cope crumbles just a little. So treat yourself with some sympathy and try switch it up--vacay with family doesn't mean spending every waking moment with them. HUGS! I know it's hard.

Yes.  I almost went for a walk or run yesterday when I was feeling testy.  I didn't, but think that would be a goo way to get some positive energy going rather than the crankiness.  

I just came back from a two week vacation with family that I had not seen in  3 years.  I was so surprised at how they ate...lots of fast food and sweets, and no exercise no walking etc. I had not realized how much I had changed until I saw them.   I think it is important to own my process...I have to deal with a  situation to the best of my abilities...sometimes that meant a small taste of a treat..or sharing a meal with my husband.. walking in the evening. I made this choice to have surgery and I feel so much better health wise ...that is what I try and focus on.  So I don't resent the food other eat.  I might envy  them kinda of like a expensive purse... I don't fault the person for buying a 400 dollar purse I just know I would never do it. You need to find peace with your self and know that this is forever and not temporary.  Its good that you have a therapist to help work it out.    good luck Deb