A Bad Example of Success Story

Its been a REALLy long time since I posted... 

Well, its been 4 years since I was cut. After the initial horror of Dr.A's work I spent 6 months in the hospitial to loose 135 lbs and to almost die doing it! The good news, I lived; the bad, I live with new(old) stomach for the rest of my life. 

Now some will **tch me out. To those who have negative things to say about others lives, I dont give a **ck. I have met death, lost my mind, regained my sense and got back on my feet all before the first 5 years was up. Now just a bit of history. My stomach was cut too small...by said doctor. Though in the long run it has made things both more diffucilt and more simple. For instance, I eat very little...VERY LITTLE. The bad, I graze. That leads to trouble and me gaining 15lbs in a week. How did I loose it? simple... I took my too small stomach and used the natural ability to no feel hungar and did not eat for a week... I lost 25. So I jumped from 120 to 135 down to 110. THIS IS MY LIFE. Though I do try to keep a balanced weight by eating on a regular basis and walking every now and again. 

Food wise? If I see it, and I want it, I eat it. Pllain and simple, no second guesses, I eat. Thats doctors orders... (funny to hear your doctor to say eat EVERYTHING you feel like having.) 

I think the common mistake of people is to believe that their life will be sooo much better if they loose the weight. The thing to remember is that you loose the weight FOR YOU and NO ONE else... life will not improve just because you are skinny. Also know body-dismorfic is VERY real. Lets just one day I looked in the mirror and saw 300lbs that were not there. In reality I was barely pushing 110 at the time. To be truthful... I was more healthy at 260 than I am at 125 (normal avg weight) 

Moral of the story... becareful... the boggie man comes in many shapes and sizes and forms

I would encourage you to get some counseling. Fasting for a week at a time after bingeing is a food disorder. Yes, you don't give a f*** except you do or you wouldn't have posted on here. 

I get it that your surgery was botched, you went through medical hell. That's sad. It's also the reality of your life now. Grazing clearly doesn't work for you when you eat whatever you want. You have taken your doctor's permission to eat and ran with it...that doesn't excuse you from making BAD FOOD CHOICES.

I've faced death, too. It happens. I don't use it as an excuse to abuse my body. 

Consider yourself *****ed out 

I'm sorry your surgeon was a butcher :(

Are you seeing a therapist?  That seems like it would be very helpful with the dysmorphia and the other feelings you're experiencing!  Good luck.

I am so sorry that this has been your experience. I'm sure that you were like the rest of us before surgery, with excitement for the future... And then you were dealt a horrible hand and left to figure things out for yourself. 

You are absolutely right that body dysmorphic disorder is real. I have lost over 100 pounds, but still see the fat girl in the mirror about once a week. It's a long process to remove that image from our minds. 

Again, I am so sorry that you have had such a bad experience. I hope that you are able to find a healthy balance in your diet and lifestyle. 

I'm sorry you went through so much. This surgery is not an easy fix, I myself also see the overweight woman in the mirror. I am learning to accept myself as I am, loose skin and all and am opting not to have plastic surgery. It is a mind game a lot of us have to work on and I hope you find that peace with yourself. Thank you for posting and I wish you all the best!

I find this post to be incredibly confusing? 

I agree with Nikke2003 that this post is confusing. Perhaps you have posted your story before .I am relatively new here and I feel some of the story is missing,at least enough for me to understand what you are really trying to share. I hope things improve for you it seems you are still being grieved by your initial surgery experience.