I chickened out....

I did all of my pre-testing, dr release, psych eval etc, just needed to give the ok to submit to insurance and I chickened out. I admit I have a severe phobia of throwing up. Then last Thursday I woke up with a migraine. It was the worst pain of my life and I ended up in the ER for IV pain meds and fluids. I was so nauseous, it was miserable. The next day I woke up and swore I wouldn't ever be in that kind of pain again. I decided to quit sugar, start exercising and get healthy. 

Im going on 10 days with no sugar or white bread. I reached out to my bff's personal trainer and asked if she would help me, and she agreed.  I don't know why I think I can do it "without a tool" this time, but I feel like its possible. Am I stupid and ignorant for walking away from this opportunity?  We've paid premiums for a secondary insurance, stashed $$ in a FSA to pay for our portion, and now, for what????  

I dont know know what I'm asking, just wondering if any one else chickened out and went on to lose weight or eventually got braver and had surgery....  Where should I turn for weight loss support now?  I've never been successful with weigh****chers. I was successful for six months with overeaters anonymous, however it's so black-and-white for me.  I'm thinking that's my best chance, and they just started a meeting a mile from my house.  

Thanks for listening, I haven't even told my family that I backed out yet.  I'm afraid they are going to think that I am a coward.  

Renee 

I chickened out 3 years ago, got just as far as you did and coulnd' t go through with it. I had fear of surgery part. I went on to gain 15 pounds the last 3 years and just today had first visit to get process started again. I can't have the surgery till Christimas 2014 , but want to get the ball rolling. I'm going to force my self to go through with it, b/c I cant do it by myself. Hopefully you will have better luck.

I just wanted to say how much I love New Life Bariatric in Knoxville. I had my surgery with Dr. Williams, not Dr. Boyce, and stayed at the Tennova Turkey Creek hospital and haven't had any complications.  

Only you can know if it's the right decision.  But I do think that you need to seek help with that phobia of throwing up.  To walk away from something you believe will allow you to live longer, healthier, and possibly happier because of a very temporary potential problem seems like a little upside down to me.  

I was so scared I almost literally got off the operating room table and walked out.  I just pretended everything was fine and chatted with the whole staff until they put me under.  I faked it until I made it, basically.

I think talking with someone, perhaps therapy, will help you not only deal with your phobia, but deal with the issues that led you to being overweight to begin with.  Even after the surgery, 95% of the game is mental, not physical, so the biggest tool in your arsenal is understanding your triggers, emotional eating, etc.

Been there, done that. I've had years of therapy for eating disorders with success in maintaining weight, but not losing. The phobia of vomiting is only part of my fears, and yes, I've had some therapy. 

Thanks for for the encouraging words, everyone. I feel less of a failure, and yes, more like I've made a decision. 

❤️❤️ Ill still be lurking around and will be cheering you all on!!

Renee

We'll support you no matter what - here's to making a decision!

I Wish you well with your decision.  When I started the 3 month pre-op diet, I found I was so successful that I considered backing out.  But the first time I had anxiety and found myself wearing a path to the refrigerator, I remembered why I had failed on diets so many times before.  It feels really different after surgery.  the restriction helps, but the largest part is the change in the drive to eat.  The sleeve really made the weight loss possible.

I don't think there is any harm in trying to diet again to see if it works.  You can always come back to the surgery  if you find you need more help down the road.

best wishes,

Carol

I almost backed out too. Up until I was on the table I kept thinking I could still walk away. I like many can lose weight but keeping it off is near impossible for me. That is where my tool will come in handy.

You have to do what is best for you. You can always come back and have WLS at a later time if you need to. Or maybe, this scare is what you need to get yourself headed in the right direction and to jeep the weight off.

I too had a great fear of throwing up. My surgeon assured me that I wouldn't. He prescribed a very powerful anti nausea med that is used for chemo patients. It is called Emend. I also put an anti nausea patch behind my ear. I did both of these 3 hours prior to surgery. I'm four days out and I've had very little nausea and zero puking. He also said that if I keep myself hydrated and get my protien in, then I would be fine.

I wish you the best!

If it helps you any, I found that staying fed and hydrated helps keep the nausea at bay. I've had a bit, but it's not at all the big scary monster that some people make it out to be. Nausea, at least for me, usually means that my body needs something - water, usually.

You're writing my story but with a different ending. In 2009 I went through all the hoops, submitted to insurance, got approved and cancelled my surgery 2 days before it was scheduled. I stayed on th liquid protein diet and lost 64lbs, got pregnant (twice) and gained it all back. Fast forward to 2013, I was extremly heavy and unhappy and I had to start the process all over again. The only diffrence between then and now is that I was getting the RNY then and wanted the sleeve but insurance said it was too new then. I am now scheduled for 2/12 (next Wednesday) and super excited and to ensure that I don't back out again my husband is under specific instructions that if I hesitate he is to hit me over the head and take me to the hospital unconcious. That being said, 2009 was not the right time for me and I wasn't ready which is why I was so scared and back out. Now I am beyond excited and honestly have no fears. I have chosen a good surgeon and I have done all the research I can do. I have a great support system and the rest is in God's hands. If you're not ready now that's okay. You can revisit this another time, it will be here. This is a major life changing decision and not for the faint at heart so be very sure if you decide to take this plunge.