A different side of success....maintaining as an emotional eater

Right after surgery, early out, it's easy to get wrapped up in belief that the only success is reaching 100% EWL and maintaining. Of course, we'd all love to do that, i sure would, but sometimes it doesnt happen, or takes a really long time.

 

I got to 420 lbs by having a lot of freaking issues - and solving them all by eating (and the ironic part is - other than calming anxiety - it solved absolutely nothing). Those issues didnt go away after surgery - instead, I just got more of them. And, as a result, for a long time, I felt like a failure. Im over 2 years out, never got to goal, and even regained a little bit of weight. But, after a round of intensive cognitive behavioral therapy, ive changed my mind, and decided to redefine success. And i'm calling the fact that over the last 7 months, (and really the last year) I've stayed within a 2-3 lb range a freaking success. Ive been through a lot emotionally, and Id have to say that earlier this year was one of the deepest depressions ive ever been through in my life. And despite that, I didnt ballon back up (which would have absolutely happened with no doubt without my sleeve). So I'm declaring myself successful.

I'm at 85% EWL. Im maintaining my weight right now despite my depression, anxiety and stress overload. That's success. Ive stopped looking at every thing in black and white, stopped defining success in one way, and now Im much happier because of that, and its much easier to maintain by taking THAT added stress away.

Ive come to the realization that I am an emotional eater, and I do not believe that even if I had the best therapist in the world, I will ever be able to be free from that...shortcoming. It's just my reality at this point. But, after a couple years, ive figured out how to work with that fact instead of against it, and it's working much better for me. When I totally hit rock bottom 6 weeks ago, I decided to follow the Whole 30 (paleo) approach. My friends were doing it, and it seemed like I could do it. (for me personally, just saying "back to the basics" was a recipe for failure because i needed something more detailed and structures in terms of an eating plan). And it was just what I needed - I cut out grains, flour, dairy, sugar, alcohol, artificial sweetner. I did eat a lot of fruit during that month but that was my little modification because I needed something to snack on to calm me down. I managed to lose about 12 lbs or something during that month and my calories were averaging around 1300-1400. I ate lots of veggies, lots of low calorie soups, snacked on just pure dense protein. So for me, it was a plan I could follow, and when I needed to eat (for reasons other than being hungry), it didnt hurt me. Days like today - when Im stressed to the max, and im in pain, and miserable and bloated, and i just generally hate life, I get comfort in knowing that at least im on a path to maintaining my weight.

I do plan on losing weight eventually. I need to lose another 30 lbs. But, it will happen when i'm ready. Im healthy and its not an emergency, and my mental and emotional well being is far more important at this time. My great wonderful friends here have helped me see that, and I owe them more than I can ever repay them.

Allison,

 

I love that you posted this and you've found your light again.  I've watched you struggle through the last year and the fact that you have found an answer,( I won't say the answer because as you know that **** changes as we see and learn more,) but you've found the answer for now and that is wonderful. 

 

Your struggle to get the right kind of help has definitely been inspiring and it has reminded me again of your amazing tenacity which you have shown throughout this journey. 

 

Peace and all blessings to you, this has made me very happy.

I have definitely found my light - and there's definitely no one answer...that might be an important lesson I had to learn. Thank you for all of your support over the years.

What an empowering message! Success comes in all shapes, sizes, and realities! Good for you for listening to what your body needs, getting help in figuring all of this out, and redefining what it means to be successful.

Best wishes to you!

Laurie

Kudos to you for finding what works for you! That is a hard thing to do. I know because I have not yet found the answer for myself. Congrats on fighting the fight regardless of your depression and your pain and not giving up! You have done an awesome job in your weight loss.

My thoughts and good vibes are with you.

Thank you for your courage to post this.  I'm SO glad you found what works for you.  Rock your plan!!  Again thanks for sharing!!

Allison, as always you inspire me.  Keep on doing what works for you, as this is a very individual journey and you know yourself best.  GL and continued success to you!

Maintaining is a beautiful thing my friend and in the middle of this difficult time, you did just that.  I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of you. 

I look up to different kinds of people on this board... those hardcore peeps, those who can be a WL success not doing so low carb, those who make it sound easy & those who have struggled immensely along the way.  We are all different but we all have 1 common goal & that is success with our sleeves AND with ourselves. 

You are changing your life & taking it 1 day at a time but YOU.ARE.DOING.IT.!!!

I am sometimes at a loss of words for you but you know how much I love & admire you and I'll say this again ... OH knows you but to know you in person is nothing short of amazing.  I love you so much & thank my lucky stars that you & I are such great friends.  I wish you didn't live 3 hours away but hell, where there is a will there is a damn way!!! 

Want another beach day in a couple weeks?  It was good for my soul to be there with you.  I don't think I would have gotten the same experience with anyone else.  You make me feel special ... you make me feel like I can do anything ... you have that power on people, you really do.  I will see you soon ... becuz I have to!!!!  I seriously suffer from Alison withdrawals!!!

Can you stop making me cry already!!!

 

We will go to the beach soon and I promise im going to move closer to you :)

Alison, You are a true success. Love you my super woman