Finally...back on track

TMS = trans-cranial magnetic stimulation.  They take an MRI strength magnet and bang away at the part of your brain responsible for depression.  Unfortunately most insurances don't cover it yet - but it is pretty effective.  My daughter reacts to most meds - from enlarged liver to crazy skin reactions.  She even had stroke like symptoms to one - freaky!  So I was glad to have a treatment that wasn't traveling through her hyper reactive system.   

You are so right - depression is horrible!  I've never had it - bu****ching her suffer really sucks monkey butt.  I found a blog that really helped me understand better - you may like/enjoy http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in- depression.html.  The author has a great way of illustrating what she is going through and she is pretty funny too.

The war rages on, but you are winning!!!  Never give up because it is never over.

Never doubted you. I knew you'd find your way.

You are one awesome redhead.

Just do today.

*Big Hug*

Also, you look beautiful. Way to rock that bod!!

Alison-

I am glad that you are coming to a better place. I hope that things continue to get better and better for you. You are such an inspiration to me and others. As I struggle to start including exercise into my life I often think of you and what you have achieved. It is a lifelong journey. Hugs-Karen

You and I are very similar in what we are going through so I can empathize with you and your struggles.  I am so happy to hear that Paleo  is working for you and going to a structured eating plan is getting you on track with food.  

After a horrible June and 20 pound gain (yes in one month) I am back to clean eating and not worrying about the scale as well. I just want to feel like I am back to being on top of the eating and stopping the bingeing and compulsive overeating. I have been clean for about 4 days now and feeling so much better.  I am not trying to do moderation any more as I can't do that and never could. I don't know why I tested myself again and again. I just wanted to be normal  - if there is such a thing. I now have to internalize that carbs, etc. can't be allowed into my home. If I want a carby food it has to be out of the house and one serving only.

I am doing therapy again just to get a handle on things.

Hugs to you and congrats on your successes, you look FAB. Thanks for your support, it does help.

Paula

P.S. I tried the transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression and it did work for me unfortunately. 

I don't post much anymore, but I do lurk and always like to read your updates. I just wanted to chime in with whatever encouragement I can offer. I'm so glad to hear things are on an upswing for you and I wish you all the best and hope your summer just gets better and better.

 

Lindsey 

Hell yeah! I'm so glad things are looking up. It's nice to see a smile on your face!! You rock Hon!

Pretty, pretty young girls. Enjoy it now, every day. Every minute, know that you will never again be as youthful and with as much future to hope for good things as you have, right now - this minute.

Alison,

You have so very much to be proud of, and it goes much deeper than weight loss, though your success there was/is amazing!  I am so happy to hear that you figured out, through perserverance, what you needed to do for you!  I think maintaining and regrouping was a super smart idea. Recognizing that the obsession was making you unhappy (the total opposite of the reason to have wls) was a big, important step.  I know, I too... with a much lesser accomplishment than YOU my dear- can look in the mirror and not see progress, only lack of perfection.  I always said I would feel so blessed to be in the ball park of a normal bmi again, never imagined wearing regular clothes again etc... that I would stop to smell the roses, and each day lately I wake up obsessed with a number, grumpy, and unable to do my plan.. feeling Ive failed and being so busy beating myself up. I'm not trying to shift to me here-  I'm fine, and will take a page from your book for sure- sometimes we just need to love ourselves right where we are and not expect any more... not make our self love conditional!!!!!!!!!  I'm just stating that, I swore my adventure into obesity would make me less hard on myself, kinder, less perfectionistic, more appreciative of even being close to where I'd like to be... and it was amazing how I lost touch with that reality in an attempt to get to goal and finding some struggles along the way.  I bounced right back into being critical and overly demanding of myself.  I would never ever treat a friend or say the self talk I say to a friend.... learning to love ourselves can be so hard!

I have absolutely no doubt that you will successfully meet your own goals for you,  in your time!  You have the heart of a lion!  I truly truly hope that one day, you will see yourself the way we all see you... your amazing journey of inspiration and hard work! Your fitness accomplishments alone floor me.  I have thought of you so often when I wanted to quit my workout etc...you inspire those of us who have not even met you.

I hope I have the privledge of meeting you in Oct at the conference  (disneyland... too??)

I LOVE seeing that smile on your beautiful face of yours....and I am so happy you have stepped back into the light girl! You deserve more happiness than that heart can hold...

Christina

Ill definitely be around in October but not so sure about disneyland...im still afraid of heights :-p  But maybe jenn will just ride the teacups with me all day!