Finally...back on track

It was 3 years today that I started this long journey. I woke up 3 years ago and weighed in at 420 lbs, and it was the first time i ever looked at and considered WLS. I cried long and hard that day, and vowed to change my life - with or without WLS. While I pursued surgery, I lost 85 lbs. I had lots of bumps in the road but I ate a healthy diet, and exercised.

Now that I'm 2 years post sleeve, real life begins. Life was great the first year, a little rough, the next 6 months, and absolutely horrible the last 6 months for me. I had to deal with a very deep depression that literally sucked the life out of me and led to a 20-30lb weight gain. I tried off and on for the last 6 months to do shakes, go "back to basics" and I just couldnt do it for more than a couple days at a time. Ive struggled horribly with emotional/compulsive/binge eating, and it's taken its toll on me. I sought help, but ended up with more issues than I had going in.

At the worst of my depression though, I decided that I couldnt live like that. I hit my rock bottom once again. And some how i found the strength to start Whole 30/paleo ( i need more direction and guideance than "back to basics") Im wrapping up the 30 days now, and I feel like a new person mentally, and physically i'm getting better. My stomach issues (combination of meds and behaviors) have almost been eliminated.

Ive lost a little bit of weight over the last month, but it wasnt my goal at all. I just needed to get stable, get focused, and feel better. I think because I took WL off the table as a goal, I was able to stick with it. I got to obsessed with the scale.

While im not happy at my current weight, ive found a new sense of appreciation, and satisfaction with my body. I actually wake up and look in the mirror and think, "hey, i dont look too bad". Jenn took some pics of me at the beach, and I was actually smiling, and actually liked the pics which is new territory for me.

So, since a lot of you have been so supportive of me, and talked me in (not that it was hard) to just maintaining sanity right now, that's what im doing. As I get better, and continue my therapy, I'll slowly get back on the WL wagon, but I'm not going to die with an extra 30 lbs on my bones so I'm not going to stress about it right now.

Now for some pics :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So glad things are looking up for you.  You are a beauty, Allison!!!  

I owe many thanks to you for all your support!

You are absolutely beautiful my friend & you better recognize!!! 

Let me tell you OH ... this is one strong, beautiful, independent, "balls to the walls" kinda gal.  She has been one of my dearest friends for way over a year now & I thank God she is in my life.  She has taught me so much.  As she struggled, so did I & I think we are both coming out of this with a better outlook & appreciation on life.  I love her to pieces & owe a lot of my new found happiness & acceptance of myself because of her.

Alison, I really love you so much.  You have treated me with love & respect as I've struggled, succeeded, & moved on with my life.  I want the absolute best for you because dammit gurl, you deserve it!!!  You deserve to love yourself & see yourself the way others see you.  As we continue on our journeys, I am proud to walk hand and hand with you until the freaking bittersweet end!

Thank you for showing me a great time last Saturday at the beach.  You helped me overcome my fears of so much & made me feel like a kid again, just relaxing, laying out, & playing in the water.  The feeling was liberating & it was something I haven't felt in a long time while being at the beach.

YOU..ARE.ALL.KINDS.OF.AWESOME.TO.ME!!!! 

Keep fighting the good fight.  I'm right there with you all the way!!!!

You always make me cry!!! I love you with all my heart. Im gonna steal you from someone!

OMG we need a like button.

Awesome pixs, sexy skinny *****(es), indeed.  Glad you're in a healthy and happy place now, Alison:)

Thank you!

You are absolutely amazing! I know I've told you before, but I can never say it enough that you have been one of my biggest inspirations!! I owe so much of my success so far to you. You have so much strength and I'm in awe of your many accomplishments!!!! You were the first person to "friend" me on this site and offer support that I REALLY needed...because I, too, was at my rock bottom at over 400 lbs. I am going to try and pay it forward as much as I can throughout my journey.

Congrats!!! You look great!!!

You definitely inspire and motivate me as well!