6 Months Post -Op (with Pics I hope)
I am going to keep this brief, I should be working! It's been 6 mos. since I have had surgery and so much in ,y life has changed. I have lost about 111 lbs, and oddly I feel like that is not enough, even though it's a lot. It's hard to let go of that habit of judging yourself, but I am actively working on it. The nutritionist gave me a wake-up call ( along with the doctor, and the fitness specialist.) I should not be counting the calories I burn during my exercise towards increasing my food intake. This again goes against everything I was taught in my previous 23 years of "dieting". Now I m not denying the wisdom, only slightly rebelling against the idea that when I bust my butt in Hot Yoga 4 times a week, I don't get to reward myself by having an extra protein bar... Then the wake up call hits and says "Hell No you can't reward yourself with food. You looked for help, got it, now be humble and follow damn directions!!" Soooooo long story short, I am only eating 800-900 calories (trying to) and still doing hot yoga 4 times a week, and I am happy to do it! (It's my mantra and I'm sticking with it!) The little A.N.T. ( automatic negative thought) that creeps into my brain is what if you had been doing this all along, then maybe you'd be at 130 lbs lost. Negative little buggers aren't they I need a good exterminator!
All that aside, I feel better than I ever remember feeling. I love who I am changing into, even while missing a little of who I was. It's probably the clothes I miss more than anything. I get attached to "things" more than is healthy. I tried on a dress I had never been able to wear the other day, and it fit. I thought long and hard about how long I had been waiting to have that moment where "that dress" fit my body. 17 years, no joke I have held onto that dress fro 17 years, dragged it across the country, apt to apt, and from house to house. Now, I can fit it... to bad it's completely out of style! It however helps to get me thinking about what else I am holding onto waiting for a feeling, rather than living in this moment. I haven't decided what to do with the dress, but it's much less appealing to me now. Much like fast food, and baked goods are less appealing but still have emotion connected to them. Learning to let food be energy and clothing be coverage rather than trying to make it mean more than that is going to the mountain I climb and conquer this next 6 months. It will never feel the way about me that I have felt about it in the past 25 years. Here I go!
Congratulations on the great job you are doing!!! The difference in pictures is incredible; you look so much younger and smaller already...and this was at 4 months....Keep up the awesome job beautiful girl!!! Barb
HW: 248 Consult Wt: 245 Surgery WT: 225 (VSG 7-25-12) Goal Wt: 135 (5-15-13) Current Wt: 125
M 1: 18 M 2: 13 M3: 9 M4: 10 M5: 8 M6: 8 M7: 8 M8: 6 M9: 6 M10: 6 M11: 3 M12: 2 M13: 2 M14: 1
You are looking and doing awesome! Congrats on being open to taking the doc and nut's constructive criticism on not rewarding with food - I know it is hard to be open to that - great job on hearing it and taking it to heart!
Can't wait to see your 6 mo pic's cause your 4 mo pic's are incredible
Lucy 
(Imma Loser!)
HW 335 SW 311 CW 181.2 -- Goals: Twoderville - 6/7/11, 280 - 7/1/11, 260 - 8/1/11, 240 - 10/30/11 Centry Club - 11/22/11, 220 - 12/27/11 Onederland - 5/25/12, 180 - , 170 (surgeons goal) -
We shall see where this leads...
The statement above from your post is PROFOUND! Love reading about your terrific progress and was laughing over you needing an exterminator
Can tell you've done a lot of the inner work to be successful long term. Keep it going, Empress! Tracy 5'3" HW: 235 SW: 218 CW: 132 M1: -22 M2: -13 M3: -12 M4: -9 M5: -8 M6: -10 M7: -4
Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week!
Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15
