Balance, weight loss, and learning from our mistakes

I have written posts before about my perspective on balance or lack thereof and weight loss.  I do not feel that the weight loss phase of this process requires a "balanced" diet.  I think that losing weight is really hard and maximizing protein while reducing calories and carbs is the way to go.  You don't have to agree with me, this is my experience and my perspective on my journey.

On the other hand, I do believe that a certain type of balance must be struck when you are losing weight.  I wrote in an earlier post that I would have been willing to eat cardboard to get the weight off and I still stand by this statement.  However, I think that another aspect of weight loss is learning from our mistakes.  We are all human, and food is everywhere.  We can be perfect in our desire to do the right thing and still quite imperfect in implementation.  Therefore, it is a huge part of this journey to learn from our mistakes.  We have to find the kindness inside of ourselves to forgive ourselves for being imperfect, this enables us to calmly look at what happened and do an autopsy on the situation.  

What were our thoughts, belief systems, emotions, and so on before we went off plan?  What was the social situation like?  What were the stressors?  We need to understand ourselves so that we can come up with better strategies for the future.  Next, we need to come up with and then practice these new strategies until they become second nature to us.   We also need to reward ourselves for noticing similar situations and using our strategies rather than just acting out.  This takes a balanced approach.  On one hand, being fully committed to doing the right thing, and on the other hand, being very willing to forgive and learn from our mistakes.  This is not a punitive process, but a loving and encouraging one.  Giving up certain food was never supposed to be a punishment, and any feelings of anger toward yourself are misplaced.  Turn any minor setback into a learning situation and it becomes an important and positive part of your journey.  You will make mistakes, you will learn from your mistakes, you will do better and you will see that your mistakes were just lessons in disguise. This applies to life in general, be kind to yourself, you deserve it and it serves you better in every situation.  Have a great Saturday.

Thank you Elina! I loved and embraced every word of your message! The most critical is " Giving up certain food was snever supposed to be a punishment"! That was so powerful-it gave me an ah ha moment! I am only just getting to grips with my WLS after 8 months, unfortunately I have been struggling with severe joint issues particularly my knee. I am just feeling a little " normal" now after two months of post knee replacement rehab. Thanks to my Surgeon, great pain management doctors and nursing care  at my local hospital and a great team of therapists, I can walk, bend and stretch... It's like being born again. Finally I can enjoy my sleeve and participate with you all on this forum actively and in a more focused way! You are a great pillar of strength with your realism and most of all your humility! "I look to you....".   A, very great Saturday to you too! 

Thank you so much for your insight and inspiration.  Weight loss is not just physical.  It's also emotional and mental.  If we don't find our triggers and/or stressors we'll be in trouble our entire lives. 

What a apt post! I have been away from OH for close to a week- well, I did quickly pop on the other day, but.... I am still traveling and yesterday was a bit stressful, as is today. Long story short, my 85 year old aunt is trying to control my food. ( separate post for that!) The rebel in me got a fast hold on me and I did a bit of emotional eating late last night while reading. 

Ive gone through the process and again have learned more about who I am. Sigh..... Just another day in maintenance......

Ooooh, I have so much to say to you around this, we might need a quick phone conversation.  This can so be a net positive, I've got serious thoughts are working with your rebel.  (I like your rebel, tell him to call me).  :)

Long distance high five!!!

Thank you for this Elina!

Yesterday, i let some major guilt totally *****slap me and I let my eating go ape-**** crazy. Today, I'm on plan.

Letting go of the guilt is still hard. I would prefer to beat myself up for, oh say, a year or 5. But, I am choosing to not to hold onto the guilt.

It's a process. We just have to figure ourselves out. What the **** else are we all going to do???

It's funny. I've been going to see a therapist (my pcp made me) and we talk about the same things you end up posting about. I think I can just read your posts from now on and not pay her anymore! Ha! You make me think more in depth about the things she and I discuss and it is really nice to find out other people are feeling the same. Some of those for me are forgiving myself when I screw up (no more self sabotage), feeling deserving of being at a healthy weight and realizing anger is a secondary emotion for my stress and frustration. In the past, I would give up but something's different this time. I don't know if it is commitment or the support I feel from others but your cardboard post the other day forced me to look at what I'm now eating in the weight loss phase of this and I realized I needed to make a few small changes to further my loss in this phase. You are such an important inspiration to people on here. You not only say what people are thinking but you make us all think harder and want to work harder at losing. THANK YOU!

WOW, how lucky are we?  An motivating post from BOTH Elina AND Frisco in the same day!!  Now that's what i call inspiration! :)

Frisco's post made me all excited to realize that the rewards from this journey can continue for years when you stick to your plan and execute a successful maintenance plan.

You just continue to inspire me to keep analyzing and most of all loving myself enough to learn what i can, do the best that i can but forgive myself when I am less than perfect.  Thank you!!