Emotional ramblings...thoughts about eating disorder treatment

Hi Elina!

I just wanted to comment on one of the things that work for you in a therapist. I thought your comment about history was really interesting. I'm in a family therapy class and we're always talking about history as it related to our family of origin and how basically growing up and the experiences we experience and then our parents experiences and so on and so forth affect our life, who we choose as a partner, and how we raise our children. Isn't that kind of crazy to think about? And on the other hand, when you mention your history only being significant towards your current problem, I felt myself agreeing with that, too.

I guess being in these classes cause me to think too much, but your comment just reminded me to not put too much faith in certain theories. I think a good therapist combines all different ideas to create a tool bag to help a variety of issues angled toward what the client needs in that moment.

Just wanted to share. Always appreciate your thoughts and input. :)

I have an MA in counseling and I will tell you that all theories are good, some better than others, but in the end, these theories are only tools and form the background of your understanding.  The person sitting in front of you is not theoretical but real and although their history is part of what brought them here, their problems are happeing today.  You can get to the same issues through working on what is happening right now and leave them with real tools to use today while still helping them see their patterns and thought processes formed in childhood.  Systems matter, but never forget the individual is real and needs help today or they would not be in your office. :)

In all of the therapy sessions Ive had, none of them have even begun to get close to the root of my issues because they just think im debbie downer and need to be happy....I just cant imagine a person with all those traits!

They excist.  I know they do, because I am one of them.  :)  I also had great therapy with a fantastic, gifted and very experienced person.  This therapy was never painful, ever.  I always walked out of therapy stronger and wiser and with a clear set of goals and directions.  I understood my current situation better and I had a plan of action.  This therapy changed my life.  You can find the right person, don't settle.  ( I do have to admit, this therapist was extremely expensive, but it was worth every single penny).   Look for the therapist that you feel you can't live without, much like a marriage, this relationship is unique and precious.  You deserve the very best.

You don't need to be happy, you just need to be OK with whatever you are feeling right now.  Happy is just as good as any other emotion, it is your OKness with where you are right now that is important.  Nothing is in stone, everything changes, your moods, your thoughts, everything.  Being sad is just as valid as being happy.  Finding the right tools to help you through today and finding your peace and your strength, that's the key. You are welcome to feel anything you want, you have every right to make your choice which emotion is working for you now, you also have a right to change your mind at will.  You are so much stronger and wiser than you think you are right now.  You need someone who knows that they can't walk your walk, but they can hold the lantern up and walk a few steps ahead of you, pointing out pitfalls and smoothing your path.  The best therapists are nothing more than guides who help you walk your walk.

Thats a good way of putting it - I like it ;)

Elina said it perfectly.

I would only add that a good therapist will have a plethora of tools and strategies to offer you. Obviously, the tool is only as good as the person who is using it. But, they should have many, many different things for you to try while on your own.

Many years ago I was in therapy for eating disorder, anxiety and depression.  Of the two people I saw, the second one did me significantly more good and made me work harder and better on myself.  She was a social worker who saw patients through an addictions therapy center started by an ex-priest.  They accepted payment on a sliding scale, and they really gave a damn about helping people.

Maybe you could hook up with such a place where you are.  It wouldn't be free, but you might hit pay dirt as I did and find a person under whose guidance I actually made some progress ... medication-free, I might add.

Hang in there, young lady, and look around. 

A long time ago I saw a therapist for depression and social anxiety issues. I requested CBT as I felt I needed something "hands on" to combat those issues and while it was the most challenging thing I've ever done, it was honestly the most helpful. I was fortunate to have an amazing therapist (I believe she was PsyD). I saw a separate therapist for med management.

and yes, CBT is helpful for all sorts of things including eating disorders. I find myself using it with food issues, relationship issues. Basically, working on changing your thoughts...but at the same time, if you aren't at the place where you can do that, it ain't gonna be useful.

If you like that therapist, ask if she'll work with you on some sort of sliding scale for payment and perhaps you can work out something that you can reimburse her for the full payments once you get back to work. Did you apply for disability?

Thats good to know. 

I did apply for disability...i get a portion of my salary, but not enough to pay for therapy!