How badly do you want it?

This is a post for those of you that think that this surgery will get you to your goal, and I am here to share the bad news with you that it will not.  This surgery alone will most likely only lead you to lose to about 50-60% of EW all by itself (on average, some people lose much less and others more).  That is the bad news.

The good news is that this does not have to be your fate.  You can make a choice to do much better than this statistic.  You can choose to lose all the way to 100% EW and be in the top 10% of sleeve patients.  You really can do this and than keep your results. 

I am here at four years into my maintenance sharing this with you from my personal experience as well as observation. You can reach goal and you can keep it.  This is what it takes (from my point of view) to get there and to stay there.

1) You will read about many programs on OH and your doctor will have thier own program, my experience tells me that in most cases, the 600-800 cals, over 80 grams of protein, under 40 grams of carbs is the way to go.  Others will disagree, and I am OK with that.  This is my post and my opinion and my observation.  There is no way that I would have reached goal on 1200 calories. That is my maintenance level eating.  This of course might need to be tweaked on an individual basis.  If you are an athlete and workout multiple hours a day, or if you have a different goal than I did or if you have a super fast metabolism or are a guy and have tons of muscle, than maybe eating more calories will work for you.  If you are a woman, petite, not a youngster, and work out an hour or so a day, in most cases, the higher calories will not get you to goal.  Are there exceptions, of course there are exceptions.  Are those exceptions common?  No, they are not.

2) If you go into this with without realizing that the first six months to a year is all about your weight loss, you are cheating yourself.  I read posts on here about how to add flavor to foods and often the point is about making this more paletable.  There is nothing wrong with adding spices, or finding low carb, nutritious alternatives to some foods, howerver, when your focus is anything other than maximizing your weight loss, you are sabotaging your progress and your opportunity of reaching that elusive 100% EW.  I can honestly tell you that I think I would have eaten cardboard in those early months if that was required of me.  The dedication needs to be to the process, the rest is not that important.  Find your groove with certain home made lean proteins and mostly eat that until goal.  This is not rocket science, eat 2-3 ounces of protein and eat low carb veggies as snacks.

3) Do not allow relationships to get in your way.  I don't care if you have kids, or an unsupportive husband, or parents choose to undermine your efforts.  That might sound callous, but really, I don't care and neither should you.  This next six months to a year is about you and you alone.  This is your selfish time, the time when nothing comes before you.  If you can't have certain foods in the house, get rid of them.  If your spouse sabotages you, stop them.  Speak up, find your voice, set your boundries and do not allow anyone to take your mind off the prize.  You matter, you are important, you are precious, and you must find the strength to do the right thing for yourself.  If the people in your life are not supporive of your efforts, minimize your contact, or set firm limits.  You are in charge and you will not allow anyone to get in your way.

4) Find the warrior in you and give yourself over that part of you for now.  Find your type A personality, your alpha and your OCD parts and marry them to get one heck of a fighter.  :)   This is not a passive experience, this takes guts, sweat and tears.  This takes being overfocused on the minutia of your eating and exercise.  This is a second job, a new baby, a big deal.  This is not about passively taking what comes your way.  You must drive this and you must take full control and responsibility.  This will not be easy, but it is worth it, really, really worth it.  Stop thinking that it will just happen, stop thinking that it should be easy, stop thinking that this shouldn't take a good deal of your time and energy or that it will be convenient.  It will not be any of these things, and yet, in the end, you will love the results and remember the process with fondness.  You will feel proud to own your results. This journey will change you, and I don't just mean your weight. 

In the end, it comes down to an age old question; how badly do you want this? 

Great post! I agree with 99% of everything here and followed this to my goal.
Weight loss was my job and now maintaining my loss is my new job! I exercise 6 days a week as part of my job and I push myself during each session. I truly believe the last 20lbs lost were the hardest and slowest but most rewarding pounds of my life.

Success is a beautiful thing and I really want everyone to find it and keep it.  It might look different for each of us, but for me, 100% EW was what I needed to feel successful and this is what worked for me.  Sometimes I read posts on here that are so far away from my idea of success, that I really don't even know what to say.  I find that just telling my story and laying out my process is the best I can do in helping others. You are right the last 20 pounds are a war, a struggle and a pain, but they are so very worth it. 

I found that I needed a break from OH for a few weeks so I could reset my brain. I don't filter as well as some people and found it was coming out in my responses.

"The best things in life are free" ... I think not.  I've always had to work for what I wanted & needed so you are spot on!!!

As I started to regain, I kicked & whined like a baby but ultimately I needed to grow up & get my head back in the game that this isn't easy and if I want it bad enough, I need to work even harder for it the second time around.  Yes, it can be a pain in the ass to plan meals according but WTH ... we gotta plan our days at work to get the projects done too!  We cannot slack & expect our jobs to get done by themselves. 

This is gonna sound lame but a few months ago, I was folding clothes that were on my bed & I had the music playing.  I guess I was dancing around a little, shaking my hips because I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored closet.  I was like ... "Is that me"??  Even with a few extra pounds (like 6), I was amazed at what I saw.  I still don't like to look at myself in the mirror but for once in a long time, I liked what I saw.  Maybe it was just because I was happy & that showed... maybe that is what I thought looked attractive, not really sure.  Yesterday I took the kids to Yogurtland & yes, I had some myself but it was a kiddie portion of plain tart which I love.  I passed the toppings & noticed their coconut & yogurt chips.  I was tempted for sure ... then for some insane reason, I remembered seeing myself shake & shimmy in the mirror & I stopped dead in my tracks & said hella no!  I gotta stay focused.  Then I already remembered that summer is almost here & the weather is changing.  I don't want to cover up when it's 100 degrees outside!! 

So .. how bad do I want it???  We shall see ... right now, I want it pretty bad. 

I wish you could hear me screaming at my computer screan, " You are so beautiful !!!!!!!!!"  I have seen you and you rock on so many levels.  I wish I could somehow take my image of you and transport it into your brain.  The way you saw yourself in the mirror is the way I see you everytine.  You deserve to have it all, you are a terrific person, a beautiful woman and great mother.  Shake your gorgeous stuff and love it, life is short, enjoy it.  Next time, see yourself dancing in the mirror and imagine me cheering you on and telling you how beautiful you are.  I love you Jenn.

Love your post!

Great post, very helpful and encouraging!

Thanks for your thoughts, Elina. This definitely feels like a job to me. I am trying to embrace the challenge of this, rather than hope I can hurry up and get to goal and start leading a more "normal" life.

I think that embracing the idea that this is not going to be easy but it is worth it is the key.  I think that many of us just expect the surgery to fix things and when that doesn't happen, we give up or get discouraged.  Having the right mind set going into this really helps.  This is a seconde job, weight loss is hard. 

The good news, maintenance is much easier in the long run ( not in the beginning) and eventually becomes second nature.