waking up from the nightmare

I feel exactly the same way. I am only 9 weeks into this journey. I've lost 35 pounds since my surgery date of 263.

I use to wake up every morning at 5:15 with a huge sense of dread. I dreaded getting out of bed because of the weight I felt lifting myself up. I dreaded getting dressed because my clothes were tight and I knew I looked like crap in them.I dreaded walking into work and walking around work because I felt I had this heavy coat of weight I was wearing that weighed me down so much.  I dreaded walking around at work and people seeing me, so I sat at my desk more than I wanted. My knee, ankle and back hurt. Getting in and out of the car were difficult. Plus so much more...I felt totally hopeless at ever getting enough weight off to feel better and improve my health.

Nightmare? You betcha. I've lost a total of 65 pounds in the past two years. Even at this weight, 228 pounds, I feel sooooo much better. I have hope. HOPE. That hope gives me encouragement and is so powerful.

I am thankful for this surgery. Thankful my insurance covered it. Thankful that I understand it's not magic and I still have to do the work, but now it's manageable. I can manage my eating in away I haven't been able to in over 25 years. I have truthfully thanked God over and over for this gift.