If you think you've conquered a WL battle and "cured" yourself at 3, 6, 12 or 18...

I have to say, I read it AFTER I posted.  It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be.  I thought she had a beautiful voice.  the only mistake I found was the title.  It should have been "What losing 180 pounds really did to MY mind and body"  I think she got close to a dilemma I've thought about a lot....striving to achieve but still loving ourselves as we are.

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/losing-180-pounds-really-does-body-8212-160-163900419.html

Is this the Yahoo! Article everyone is talking about?  Will you please post it...where else is it in the news?

What you write reminds me of the benefit of the 12 Step Food Program I used to be in...if you can stick with them, but I never could, but people in that Program go through things like having breast cancer and Chemo while being pregnant and STILL not eat over it - still stick with their committed food plan.  They "don't eat no matter what, no matter what, they don't eat" ("eat" as in binge or eat off the food they have committed to their Higher Power and their sponsor for the day).  It is a lofty way to live...but I have witnessed people not eat through things wayyyyy worse that a break up.  Again, I failed in that Program, on and off for 13 years, so I am not judging you, but I have seen something work where people stay committed.  That is my point.  They are not like sheets in the wind, that blow whichever way the wind blows - they don't do the attitude of -   if they are getting divorced -  time for 5 cupcakes...oh, I got fired, time for 10 more...  If I get to a point where I am slipping in this journey (my 19th time at weight loss and maintenance), I hope I can crawl back to that 12 Step Program for help. 

And, your comment about Frisco, maybe he just wants this sooo badly, that he is willing to never go back there...so, we can't judge him, either, for being super-duper committed.  Unless you walk a mile in someone's else's shoes..you know how that ol' saying goes....you have no idea what he might be going through, and he is STILL not picking up the bite....I think it is unfair to compare yourself to him, and say you have it worse.  We are responsible adults, and no one holds a gun to our heads and forces cupcakes down our throats.  Even if you eat because of horrible things in the past...still...it doesn't matter, it is a choice you are making today - a choice I indeed made for the past 2.5 years to self-destruct with food.  God willing I don't go there again, but I have the tendencies for sure...but it is still on me, and not on my past or present cir****tances.

Allison, I must not be getting something, (it wouldn't be the very first time).  I can see your point, but I can't relate it to the article.  Every single time I post, I am usually telling people that maintenance is harder than weight loss, that weight gain can happen anytime and that none of us ever has this in the bag.  I don't get the "I lost 100 pounds forever posts", because I have lost and regained weight enough times in my life to stay away from such naive thinking. 

I know that this is hard and I agree that it only gets harder in some ways.  Having said this, what does that have to do with the article?  I have a few but important issues with the article.  I don't like that it generalizes her experience and I don't like that it leaves the reader thinking that the weight simply falls off for most of us.  Neither is true for the majority of us and I do not want to perpetuate this myth either for those that have no weight issues or for newbies who might think that this is a reality. 

I have zero issues with the fact that she has emotional issues that weight loss has not cured.  I am a strong believer in therapy and look at the weight loss phase as an excellent opportunity to look inward and make much needed changes.  For some of us, therapy is not linear but more of a spiral and this means that issues can and often do come back only in new forms.  They must be addressed and dealt with again and again from different angles and perspectives.  

Finally, on a more personal note, you will never be a failure.  If you gain weight, even if you gain it all back, your spirit, your heart and your tenacity will pull you through.  You will battle your way back to health, I really do believe in you and your ability to find your center again.  It might take longer than you want, but you will do it. 

I'm with Elina.  My issue with the article was in the way she painted WLS as an easy road.  My view is that she was failed by her surgeon and that psychiatrist, because clearly she either wasn't ready for surgery or should have been approved with the proviso that she continue in therapy for a while.  Beyond that, I think anyone who loses a significant amount of weight through ANY method will have demons to deal with.

I only know you based on what you've posted here and a few of your blog entries, but Elina is right there as well.  You can do this, but it will be a battle--like it is for most of us.

Hugs to you.

r

LOL!  I need some new shoes...great idea!

Here is a link to her blog.

http://jenlarsen.net/

She had a DS by the way, so I think the effortless part is because of her surgery.

I think a lot of people initially missed the point of the article and took things out of context.  To me the article just reinforced the notion that there is a perception that being thin will make you happy.  I guess it can if you are unhappy only because you are fat.  I was happy fat and I am happy not so fat.  I do think a lot of women tie their self worth to their size and this is sad.

Wow, she had DS is 2008 or earlier?  Was it even around then?!  This is from her Blog in 2008 - yes, 2008:

http://jenlarsen.net/2008/05/weight-loss-surgery-is-the-easy -way-out/

She feels bad in front of the fat activists, like she let them down.  This woman seems uber-self absorbed if you ask me!  I won;t be buying her books!

Well she wrote a memoir, I think that takes some self absorption by nature.

Most of her writing comes back to not hating yourself because you are fat.  I think she really had/has serious issues with accepting her body at any weight.  It is a fact that skinny women are put on a pedestal.  She seems to have bought into the idea that being thin would make her happy and was shocked by the realization that it did not, maybe.

I think you have to do a lot of reading between the lines with her too.  She likes to set up contrasts as a way of making her point,  Such as comparing fat activist who accept themselves as is and thin women who are still not satisfied.  She may be ashamed of herself for not loving herself as is.

PSSST, it is not only the easy way out, it is the only way out!

For me, this process will always be a journey of self discovery and is for the rest of my life. I am about 2.5 years into this journey and maintenance requires constant awareness and determination . I never think that I have this down, because I am always learning something new. Many habits that started during the WLS phase have become lifestyle changes and are necessary for long term success.

during the first part of the weight loss, the weight does drop off dramatically, but it slows down and becomes more about the choices that we make. Hopefully, they will be the right choices.

the woman in the article wasn't prepared for the drastic changes, but this is very common. Weight loss doesn't solve all our problems and when one doesn't have food to numb one's feelings, those demons are there waiting for us.

obviously, she is doing something right, if she is maintaining her loss. I give her kudos for that, because maintenance is where the real battle begins.