If you think you've conquered a WL battle and "cured" yourself at 3, 6, 12 or 18...

You might want to think again. There's no way that going on a simplified highly restrictive caloric intake diet and sticking to that for a few months means **** in the long run. Unless everyone here who is attacking the woman that's all over the news after her 180 lbs has been in intensive therapy for a significant period of time - id suggest you take a step back and re-evaluate your own position. We know virtually nothing about her or her life other than the snippets that have been presented in the media.

But to that extent - I'd happily write a book too about how I lost over 200 lbs and still miserable and open myself up to a VSG board attack. I thought I had this **** down for years....made good progress, had a great life style, and then one day, ,my life kind of falls apart and I'm basically back to square one. I pray that many of you dont have the same mental/emotional struggles that some of us have to deal with and that getting your life back is just as simple as counting out your 600 cal for the day. However, until you are several years out, reached your goal (or not) and attempted maintenance for a significant period of time - I wouldn't go around so harshly judging others. Just because you've conquered perhaps one or two or three major issues in y our life early on doesn't mean there wont be evolving issues you need to deal with later on.  There is no magic point where we are cured, and our inner selves are healed, and we are free to live like a normal person. If you are under the impression that might happen for you one day, you should think twice.

At least for me - I lived in a bubble for a couple years - I ate right, exercised, lost weight, delt with my issues inside of this little bubble, but when real life pops up - so do more issues.  I went 24 months or so with a great handle on my emotional/compulsive/binge eating. Most people were saying "yeah - ive got this" - but the reality is, I don't. I had issues I didnt' know about that surfaced or developed or what have you. While i am committed to continuing to work on those ....I may very well be the next VSG failure - who knows.

I think my brain fog is keeping me from thinking clearly but im extremely angry and disappointed by the reaction to that news article. THere are some people who have seem to forgot where they came from or are in denial about how hard this process is for some people - and yes, to Frisco's horror, I will absolutely say that this process is harder for some than others (with the caveat that this is NOT easy for anyone). So before you judge someone else and their emotional breakdowns and weaknesses, think about your own. And wait a few years before you think about  judging anyone who has had WLS.

I don't think we are ever cured...
Remission can go on for a long time.
Everyone has their own stuff to deal with at different times that makes this process harder at times.
I expected the first time that I lost weight when I was 23 that all my problems would be solved & I would meet the prince on the horse yada yada but that didn't happen.
It didn't happen the time after that either but I didn't think it would.
Good for her for losing weight & keeping it off.
I just have to think about myself right now & don't have the inclination to think about her.

You are so right about that article Alison even though I reacted to it. I think my issue with that gal was her article making it seem broad; as if it affected everyone who had WLS the way it affected her. If she stated that SHE was able to lose weight by not following the rules or that it messed with HER mind, I would not have said anything. But then again, an article like that would not have upset me because like you said, everyone is different & we don't know what she went through. Maybe that was part of the problem with that article because it had no background on her but I did read that someone read her book & it was very good so I'm pretty sure justified her words.
As hard as this journey is for me at almost 20 months out, you are right ... Who's I say where I'd be 2 years from now. I may not have some deep emotional scarring from my childhood but I definitely have food issues. So I may got this for now but only time will tell.
Love you.

I reacted to it to and hell, I haven't even had surgery yet! I think my reaction came from a similar place... in my mind I was instantly worried that someone that knows about my plans for surgery would show it to me saying "Look at this! You will be just like this! You think a drastic surgery will make you happy and it will not - here is the proof!" I'm not doing this to be happy per se… meaning my happiness is not completely tied up in the idea of losing weight. I'm already happy for the most part... I just want to be able to live and live a long time.

I worry that people won't understand that my journey will be hard (which is what I perceive is your message and what so many people before you believe as well) when they read something like "The nature of the weight loss surgery I got is that you can completely ignore the things the doctors tell you to do. They say, exercise, don't drink, don't smoke, eat well. And you don't bother to do any of that, but still lose weight. You still lose every pound you want to lose, and then some."  I want/need support and if people think it’s easy, then will my support still be there? This idea worries me… which is what I know I personally tried to express.

I think when you read this statement alone out of context it perpetuates the "easy way out" school of thinking. People can correct me if I'm wrong but this statement seems to go against a lot of what I've read in the past four months, but then again... I'm a newbie and you're right.. I don't know a damn thing LOL :) I think your post is a great one and I’m so glad that you’re the kind of person that is willing to share. I hope you’re doing well, you are so strong and such an inspiration!

 

Hi Allison--I'm with you sister.  Fear makes people look for ways to distance themselves from situations they don't want to find themselves in.  Compassion is needed for all.  For ourselves, for others--including the previously mentioned fearful.  Your post is a good reminder that we only know what is happening for us right this second.  Things change.  Judgement can come back to hurt us. Be well!  Jenny

So true.  Life can throw some mean curve balls.  Pride in thinking we have it all together may not be the best way to approach our future, that is for sure.  There is definitely a honeymoon phase, which I am slowly moving out of, I think.  We all have to realize at some point that it does get a bit harder and some days are extremely hard.  We just need to work through those days and issues and pray that in the end we get back on track.

Hoping your journey is still a blessed one.  Making a blessings list might be of some help, if you do not already have one.  Even though you are struggling right now and may even continue to struggle.  Life still has its blessings and you still have lost so much weight and have been successful at many things.  Remember the joy in those things and let yourself love life again.  Self hatred and being down on ourselves can overwhelm us and detour our best laid plans.  Forgive yourself and others that have hurt you and wipe the slate clean (I am preaching to the choir too).  

Praying the best for you!

Alison, great post!

Frankly, I have to work on this every day. Losing weight was the easy part. Maintenance is far harder. Lots of things come up for me now that simply didn't during WL because during WL there were definite rules to follow. In maintenance one has to pave his own road to success. And it is a damn tricky road.

I have sugar issues. Go figure, right? However, prior to VSG I did not truly understand that about myself. I liked sweets, sure, but I didn't realize how much I could crave them. It was said to me last night, "How could you not know?". Well, I never really worried sugar prior to VSG. It wasn't a demon food. I thought fat was the culprit, so imagine my disappointment when I found that I can't eat just one cookie as I had thought I would be able to because of restriction! No, I eat a cookie or two and want another and another and another and DAMN IT they all fit in my sleeve. What's up with that, right? Not what I signed up for. LOL! But it's true.

So, I have to adjust my thinking. Cookies are a danger food. They must be eaten with a plan and an escape route. OR EATEN NOT AT ALL for my own well being.

What I'm getting at is that Alison is right. This is not easy. Even people who have been successful for several years have to work at this every day. I am hoping the more I work on this and surmount my food challenges the easier it will get as the days, months and years pass. Yes, my honeymoon period is over - meaning I do get sort of hungry and yes, sometimes I want an ice cream sundae or cake or a doughnut or..... and I have to make a choice.

So, my advice: focus on your own journey and reserve judgment until you've been walking the walk.

Rule of thumb in life: there is no constant. The only thing that is continuous is that we are all a work in progress. It's all a matter of what you do with your journey. The media is a joke. They take what they want to cause drama and mixed emotions. I read the article, was I impressed with how she did things? No. Was I impressed that she opened up and stated that she had a problem? Yes. That takes some cajones. Just like it takes a lot for someone like me to open up to a therapist about my past. Everyone IS different. Everyone has different battles. While some may be similar, none is exactly the same.

My journey will never be over. This is not something to be conquered, it is something to be nurtured and developed over a long time because not only is it not "curable" it is something that changes frequently.

Anyone have the link to the article you are referring to?  I have not read it and now I am curious.