Facing my fears...one protein shake at a time

After going on a couple week eating food fest/binge...I decided I had to do something kind of drastic. So I went on a 600 cal/low(ish) carb liquid protein shake diet. (and for me, since ive never done 600 cals since like 6 mo post op, this was drastic lol)

 

I pretty much had an emotional collapse ....the last couple months have been extremely difficult for me as I adjust to a lot of changes, especially in the relationship department. I wasn't able to cope with it, so I resorted to eating...and not just eating, but eating a lot of crap - cookies, cakes, you name it. I had a lot of pain I was covering up through food. I came to realize that 1) yes, food is soothing but 2)  its very very temporary and 3) it just layers on the problems you have to fix later on (like the 5-10 lbs that comes with it)  But, even realizing this, I also know that emotional eating is almost a form of self preservation - no its not ideal, but I think that there may be some points in my life and some emotions that Im  not able to deal with and emotional eating kind of keeps me afloat until im able to deal with it. I am always going to be working on getting away from food as a coping mechanism but for now, it's my reality.

For now, I decided i needed to start dealing with some of these issues, so for the last 5 days, ive been doing all protein shakes....it's forcing me to deal with some issues, and make some decisions and change things that arent working. It's not easy, its very uncomfortable mentally, but ive made more progress in 5 days than I had in the last 3 months just eating away my emotions. Fortunately, I found a new therapist that i connect with much better than the last one so I am hopeful that avenue will be able to help me.

The weight loss is just an added benefit at this point, but my pants finally fit this morning. My tolerance for gaining a few lbs is much lower since I HATE tight pants (and I refuse to buy bigger ones so i guess it's a built in emergency alarm)

I appreciate all the support I get here - some of you have been nothing short of amazing and totally committed to dragging me out of my cave. LOVE YOU ALL :)

Oh sweetie... you sound so much better. ((HUGS)) I'm so glad to see this message from you. Been wanting to send you a note to see how you are, but I know you have stuff to deal with on your own. Love you.

I am doing much better - after my psychiatrist told me I had to get my **** together, I didnt have too many choices :-p  Love you too!!!

I kind of hate it when they are right. LOL! xoxo

Your a tough "cookie"..........

frisco

Wow! I'm sorry for your troubles. Thank you for putting it out there. It makes it easier knowing that others have the same struggles and its good to see you are tackling it head on. Hope all the best for you. 

I'm glad to see you back my friend. So, we need to have a So. CA. meet-up soon and possibly go for a run. I don't want to wait until June at the San Diego half marathon. What do you think?

Yes i need you to kick my ass right now. I am soo out of shape - I dont think I could run more than 2-3 miles. I am going to start training as soon as my back is better (not sure what I did to it :(...)

It looks like I need to keep on you and Linda. However, I will wait a little bit till your back starts feeling better. Remember, San Diego is just around the corner and we ALL need to be ready (Are you reading this Linda?) Get to feeling better and get those running shoes on.

Good for you sweetie. Just remember you can do this. One step at a time.