I don't care what you eat, really...

ooh boy can I relate.  thanks for this post.  I am logging back on after a long absence and this is exactly why.  THANK YOU

Me, too!  Thank you for coming back and thank you for posting.  We can do this together, we can!

You all make such valid and real points. Thank you. How ever you phrase it. Addicted. Dependent. Allergic. stifled. Monkey. Vine. I use them all. The fact for me is it never goes away. Do I know the cause? Sort of. Some of them anyway. There is not one. There is no magical way to make them all better or ensure there will not be more.

Addiction (or insert your word) is an uncontrollable compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its negative consequences

I think we all fit into this definition. For me it morphs and can mean different behaviors on different days. Unpredictable. Hence taking things one day at a time.

I don't think I will ever be able to cure (or know) all the causes, so elimination and behavior modification until it becomes lifestyle is where I am. Fighting the daily battle. Forever.

Thanks Happy for starting this thread....we all need these truths.

Much love.

I feel you, sister.  Thank you.

I am so glad to see this discussion taking place.  Recently I have read some statements by people that their depression has "disappeared" with the weight loss and issues have a way of reaching up and biting a person in their less fatty behind (ok I couldn't resist) with a vengeance.  Weight loss and maintenance really is a two pronged approached, the emotional and the physical.  We can change our eating habits but unless we understand why we have made the choices we did to eat or overeat, every tool, diet, or lifestyle change probably won't be long term.  Looking to surgery or a diet to fix our emotional issues may work in the short term, but typically not in the long term.  Rhearob, I loved your vine analogy.  Elina I love your statement  "understanding the root needs that the food satisfies helps me satisfy the same needs in other, healthier ways."  

This isn't an issue of who is to blame, rather it is a journey to understand how we got to be who we are.  When we understand what led us to make the decisions we have, we can slowly but surely "heal the child within us."  For example, my relationship with food got unhealthy when my father was dying of cancer when I was little.  I took him in a wheelchair to chemo and while he was having his treatment I got something from the vending machine...so I learned candy provided comfort.  As I entered my teen years, my mom wanted me to be perfect, and didn't want me to be over weight, so she withheld any and all things that kids would consider fun like pizza, chips, even corn because you know that is what they use to fatten up cows for the slaughter.  

Over the years I have gone through a variety of emotions about the impact of my mom's relationship with food and with me.  However, she did the best she could with what she had...and she thought she was helping me. Understanding for me that when I feel angry or frustrated that I reach for something crunchy or when I am sad or lonely I reach for chocolate, mashed potatoes or other comfort foods has really helped me make the tough choices I am making now.  In fact, there is actually really good research that can help you identify your feelings based on the types of food you use to comfort yourself.  

There is a vast amount of documented evidence that suggests the majority of overeaters eat as a way to store their emotions.  So the more you feel frustration, anger, sadness, lonliness, etc...the more space you need to store those emotions if you just try to hide them as opposed to working through them.  The difficulty then comes for folks as you begin to lose weight...and if you think of each pound you lose as a brick in the storage house of your emotions, tragedies, times when you felt wrongly accused, treated inappropriately, forgotten etc...each brick of weight is one less pound of emotion you can store away and not deal with.  That is why people will often say when they lose weight they experience a roller coaster of emotions or more angry.  There is the euphoria associated with the weight loss, but as time passes those emotions are hanging out there like the vine Rhearob talked about that needs pruning...or the issues need to be dealt with.  People often regain weight not only because they go "off plan" but also because the strain of dealing with the issues becomes overwhelming and people fall back into old behaviors.  That is why i always say, it isn't about falling back into old behaviors, it's about recognizing it and not staying there as long.

These are just my ramblings and what I think.  I just hate to see folks all caught up in the euphoria of losing weight, which frankly where I am a****ching that scale go down almost every day, and not recognizing that at some point you have to pa the piper and really look at how you got to where you were emotionally.  

We need to figure out how to appropriately solve the problems we were trying to solve using excess food.  I really rely on the saying "we have to act our way into right thinking, not think our way into right acting."  My best thinking got me here.

You are so right, there is tremendous euphoria in losing the weight.  But that will stop one day and life returns to its regularly scheduled programming.  I can be as distracted by losing weight as I am by obsessing over food.  I am a master at distracting myself from the present!

ETA:  I can speculate until the cows come home about why I eat compulsively.  I don't learn anything really until I stop eating compulsively.  Then, all the reasons I wanted to use the excess food come roaring to the forefront. I guess it's a kind of chicken-and-egg dilemma, but for me, I can't figure out *why* I wanted the cookie as long as I eat the cookie.  I can only find out by not doing it, and seeing what happens after that.

For me, this is kind of analogous to a saying they have in AA - this program works better if you stop drinking.

Great discussion - glad you're here!

Awesome post and another solid reason why I keep coming back to this site. Some of you help me with the emotional parts, some help with the diet parts and others in the workout/physical parts. Everyone here has a story and so much that is said can be reflected in our own lives to help remind us of where we've been, what we're going through now and where we want to be in our futures. Some help with encouragement, some with awesome analogies that make it real and understandable, and others help with kicking our butts when it's truly needed. I need all of those things at different times and I know that it is all possible here, with everyone's help. I couldn't be successful on this journey unless I had all of you in my life! Thank you Happy and we're here for you as much as you're here for us!!  

Great post!

Thank you Happy--although those words hardly seems adequate to express how much I appreciate this post and all of the comments...my new reality started six months ago, stay on program, weigh, measure, under eat my sleeve; I am a food addict and can't be trusted to tempt fate; everyday I need to work my program and give thanks for all of the valuable support and guidance provided by our awesome Vets!