I don't care what you eat, really...

Oh, I do love your arm analogy!

I don't know if the whole addiction model is real or not - not trying to wade into that - but it is very helpful for me in developing strategies for handling food.

For me, my relationship with food was forged by environment, biology, society, etc.  I have a lot of theories, but none of them ever helped me stop eating.  But I so agree with you that it is critical to understand what excess food does for me.  Then, I can do that for myself without the food.  Because the food doesn't really do it anyway.  That's the kicker!  In the moment it can feel very scary to let go of the food, only to find out it wasn't working anyway.

You and I are in agreement again!  I think its important to get to the root of our behaviors and really understand our motives.  I just wanted to make the point that the act of identifying those roots does not mean we are magically cured of our compulsions or addictions.  We always will have to live with those i think and develop healthy ways of dealing with those issues.

For me understanding the roots of my addiction has helped make it easier to recognize it in the ways it may rear its head so that I know when to bring out my new tools.

I totally agree, but that doesn't really surprise me, since I almost always agree with you. :)  I love your analogy of this being like a vine.  A very original and appropriate comparison.  Understanding the roots of what we are really trying to get is not at all the same as coming up with active strategies and then regularly implementing them.  Therapy helped me with many issues in my life, this was one where all the therapy in the world could not make a difference without the VSG.  On the other hand, the therapy I had before the VSG has become a very useful tool in helping me in maintenance.  It seems that I was somehow physically broken and the VSG fixed the basic physical flaw.  The other part of the equation; emotional and cognitive pieces of the puzzle fell into place from the earlier therapy.  Sometimes I think of obesity as learning to play chess on multiple chess boards all at the same time.  It can really challenge every aspect of your person; physical, emotional, cognitive, and even spiritual. On the other hand, this is also why I think this journey has been so rich for me, it has really forced me to step up my game in every area of my life.

Yes yes yes.  Self knowledge is *really* important.  you know how navel-gazing I can be.  BUT all the self-knowledge in the world didn't stop me from using excess food.  The cure for compulsive over eating is to stop doing it.  THEN, I can really make progress.  If I am just going to keep eating until I figure it out, I will die face down in a pan of peanut butter fudge.  I love Rob's vine analogy. 

You know Happy, this is going to be hard to explain, but stay with me....

I think that a big reason that you are able to just give up the sugar and most carbs is precisely because you are so good at "navel-gazing".  You are one of the most analytical people I know and I think you find your strength to do the right thing for you from your well analyzed position that this is the only thing that will work for you.  What I mean is that it is precisely your intelligence that feeds your certainly that this is your only way.  I don't think it's that you didn't analyze the situation and decided to just give up sugar, I think the exact opposite happened.  You took a very long and close look at what was and was not working and came up with the most workable strategy for you.  I too love Rob's vine analogy and think it is one of the best I have heard on the subject.

Happy, I echo what you say here 100%. You have given us an important post today! Please count me among your support system... you have laid it out for us here perfectly...

rhearbob, your persistent and un-killable vine analogy is so beautiful -- I am not sure that I have ever heard this confounding problem be described so beautifully. I love the idea of keeping a sharp eye on the vine consistently, keeping it neatly trimmed, but being aware that there are roots all over the place, and I do not know their exact location, so I can expect branches of the vine to pop up anywhere, at any time! Being vigilant and knowing how the vine works is key! Knowing and checking the geography and hidden corners of the garden is vital! Most of all, I love the idea of allowing the vine to be part of the "landscape" of my life. I have been realizing recently that this vine even has beauty and a purpose in my life -- it helped me to survive really difficult things that I experienced at a time when I had no tools or resources for coping (ie., during childhood). It allowed me to survive so that I could eventually experience many wonderful things over the years, and to bear witness to the yukky things that happened, and to have the privilege of being there for others who are suffering; and to survive so that I can enjoy lovely things in my future...your post is beautiful, affirming, inspiriing and...poetic!! :)

Keith L., the genesis of my unhealthy eating patterns are indeed interwoven into my very personhood; in my case, I do completely understand how they arose, and were nurtured. What I have not been able to understand is why, even though I do have deep understanding of how it all started, (AND, also, by the way, a deep appreciation of the dangers and risks of my obesity-related co-morbidities), why none of this very important insight has not smoothed the road to resolving the problem, ever. There has been NO other problem like this in my entire life! It is unique. I am not saying that insight and understanding of this issue is not important -- it is, for the reason that I think it is good to know myself well, and the stuff that I did unfortunately experience are part of my humanity -- what I am saying is that the insight has not made the unhealthy relationship with food go away. With many other problems in my life, understanding the underlying causes has indeed been helpful, useful in solving them.  I think that the vine analogy , explains why: the problem (unhealthy eating patterns and unhealthy thought patterns related to food) is, again, interwoven into me. It is part of its unique makeup, and of my unique makeup. I have concluded that they may (G-d willing!) get a lot lot better, but they NOT ever go away entirely. Yes, I am in-process of exploring my "garden", looking for the vine-roots, trimming, ever-vigilantly trimming -- but the vine is still there...For me, our friend Happy's approach is kind of a harm reduction or palliative approach...it honors the history of the unhealthy pattern, accepts that it is there, and focuses energy on maintaining peace of mind, and dignity. (In the process, she maintains her weight).

Peace of mind, and dignity. That is what I have been looking for my entire life.

Thank you all for your thoughtful posts, and your support. THis is the potential of the power of the Internet, at its finest.

==swizzlequeen

Thanks for being in my support system.  I need all of you, that's for sure!

I guess I think of my issues with food as chronic, but manageable.  It is so important for me to remember *You are not cured* because the monkey will tell me I am as a way to get me back into the morass of compulsive eating.  I hadn't thought of it as palliative, but I'm going to cogitate on that for a while!

Brilliant post, friend and amen!

I am the very person you describe. It is easier for me now that I have had surgery, but that does not mean it is EASY in the sense that I don't have to worry or think about what I eat. I do, I do, I do! Like you, I am not perfect all the time. I have to plan to drink, drink, drink every day or I don't always do it and then I feel like crap and then when I feel like crap because I'm dehydrated I want to eat and I don't want to eat protein and veggies, I want to eat crap. So, I drink, drink and drink water by the bucket full every day.

I'm good with labeling myself as an addict or having a completely warped relationship with food. However, you want to word it, my view of food as been f'd up for years and years. I used food to fulfill some emotional needs. I'm pretty sure I know why, what my core issues are, etc....., but as an adult it's up to me to change the behavior. This takes work and vigilance. Sometimes the vigilance lessens and perfection wanes. This is normal, but each time I get better and better at avoiding the slip and understanding the thinking behind my "Urge" or compulsion to eat of program so I can deal with it before I put the food in my mouth.

Thank you so much for an inspiring post this morning. You always, always brighten my day.

Cheers!

On Tuesday, I was in a morning meeting that went longer than I expected.  At my desk at work, I drink at least a liter of apple tea, a cup of decaf (I have the leaded version at home), and 8 oz of water.  All before noon.  Here, I was in a room for over two hours with nothing to drink, and by 11:00 a.m. my stomach was gurgling and almost cramping.  It was all I could do to race to the convenience store for a drink and some emergency almonds.  Yikes.  I forget sometimes how much drinking does for me!!

Hugs to you, friend.  So glad you're still here.

I need to be here. It really helps me stay in the game. Regain is such a strong possibility and being active here helps me deal with the reality of who I am and from where I've come.

I had a dehydrated day last Saturday and it was not good. I was away from home at a dog show and had forgotten my packed lunch at home along with my water. Oh, it wasn't pretty. I did the best I could, but it was not what it should have been.

Average day for me is a 16 oz protein coffee (decaf) and 32 oz of water by 11:30. Then I get another 24 oz of water in by 2:30 and another 24 oz during my workout in the afternoon. After dinner I'm now trying to add decaf teas. I'm having some hunger issues at night and I'm hoping the tea will quell some of the urge to eat. (I get this horrible rumble, grumble and gnawing feeling about 1/2 hour to 1 hour after eating. The doctor thinks my hunger symptoms/issues could be acid related and wants to rule that out so I'm also being put on a new medication, carafat, 3 times per day. Hoping that will help, too.)

Anyhow, water is so helpful to me, it's just unreal. Really helps keep me on track and satisfied.