You can say it louder with a drum.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
My son is learning to play drums. He is not simply taking lessons and practicing, he is living each moment fully convinced that drums and everything that has to do with drums is the most important thing in this universe. He practices three or more hours a day, watches every youtube video on famous drummers and is obsessed with every aspect of how drums are made, set up and played. My son is a little obsessed.
Early out, we too can become a little obsessed with our new found ability to lose weight. We ruminate about every little part of this journey; the food, the protein shakes, the vitamins, the water, the exercise, the boughie size, the stalls, the scale, and non-scale victories. We worry about our social eating and our pre-planning skills, we journal and we weigh and we compare. We become a bit selfish in a very important and needed way. We have to do this because we are learning a new life skill that will hopefully change so many aspects of our lives. In the best of all worlds, we are truly committed to making this work and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it to goal and to learn to maintain
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My son has a very wise and insightful drum teacher who is in his 50's. He has been teaching drums for a very long time and he has seen many things. Today, my son asked his teacher if he thought that he would one day be a great drummer. His teacher patted him on the back and this is what he said, " You certainly have the talent and the drive to be a great drummer, you hold the sticks better than most of my other students, however, whether or not you are going to be a great drummer is going to depend on your long term commitment to continue to overcome obstacles and to push yourself when this becomes tedious and boring". Of course my son can not even begin to image drumming becoming tedious or boring but as an adult, I know that there will come a time when he will have to practice a song or learn something difficult, where he will not see drumming as his escape as his diversion, but as just another task to be done. Hopefully, he will always love drums but this new love, this passion, this intensity, is usually short lived.
This is true for us as well. The intensity of the early months and even years fades and there is no more weight loss, no more compliments, no more scale or even NS victories. The clothes fit from one season to the next and you have no need of a whole new wardrobe each season, people stop commenting and life returns to normal. Whether you are going to be a successful VSGer in the long term depends on your ability to keep doing the same things that got you to goal when it becomes tedious and boring. Lose weight with the knowledge that in maintenance only a few things change; you might be able to eat more calories and carbs, but it will not be limitless and all the strategies that you are using now, will need to be made even stronger in maintenance. Most of us will only be successful long term if we keep doing what we did in order to get to our goals in the long run. As much as I always push you to maximize your early months, I also want you to know that reaching goal is not the final destination and small failures along the way are not the end of your journey, unless you let them become the end.
I listened to the wisdom of my son's drum teacher today and realized that this same wisdom applies to every long term endeavor; learning to play a musical instrument, being successful at your profession, having a great marriage, it all comes down to doing what is needed even when things are tedious and boring. It doesn't mean that our passions leave us, only that they must be transformed through time, to be something steady, strong and reliable through good times and bad, otherwise they don't last and simply fade away. Early out it feels like the VSG will do all the work for you and you can never gain again, later on, you find out that this is not true. In the beginning, the VSG carries you, later, it transforms into a tool to be used or not by you. As much as this seems improbable to patients who are just a few weeks or months out, eventually, most of us find this to be true.
You are right, wanting something and being committed to doing the necessary work are two very different things. I am often asked how I got to be thinner and how I manage to maintain. Their are many people that would like to have the same results but are not always willing to put in the same effort. This comes down to, " I want to look like you, but I don't want to eat like you".
Wow!
Man, there's nothing like starting my day with an inspiring and insightful post from you Elina!
It totally sets my day in a real direction with my focus in place, and something healthy to think about as the day rolls by.
"Early out, we too can become a little obsessed with our new found ability to lose weight. We ruminate about every little part of this journey; the food, the protein shakes, the vitamins, the water, the exercise, the boughie size, the stalls, the scale, and non-scale victories. We worry about our social eating and our pre-planning skills, we journal and we weigh and we compare. We become a bit selfish in a very important and needed way. We have to do this because we are learning a new life skill that will hopefully change so many aspects of our lives. In the best of all worlds, we are truly committed to making this work and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it to goal and to learn to maintain"
Oh! Sooooo true!!! My fear is that when I'm at maintanance...I'll need all this info again...and you'll be bored with US and move on!! Please don't!!! I said in the past, that my VSG essentials for success are 1) protein 2) water 3 ) vits...but I forgot one more 4) Keep in touch with reality by reading posts here on OH that although celebrate the joys of VSG...but also serve as a true direction to long term success when the honeymoon ends. I can only hope to one day be living in maintenance with your drive and dedication, and honesty. Thanks again Elina!
Peace
~Deb
This really resonated with me this morning. When I read the above statement it reminded me of when people that are quitting an activity they once loved (whether it be music, sports, scrap booking, birdwatching, whatever hobby) I've frequently heard them say, "it's just lost the magic for me. I don't get the pleasure out of I used to. It's lost it's luster."
My weight loss has pretty much stopped. I've moved to a new state where no one knows me, so the "wow, look at you, you've done so well" praises have ceased (which is actually great, I hate attention). There are no woohoo drops on the scale anymore. No more size-dropping and entire wardrobes bought. Some would say the fun is over, that the magic is gone. But are they really?
My unhealthy, burdensome, inhibiting weight is now gone. I exercise & run & move & hike & play ball better than I have in years and I'm amazed at how quickly my body remembers and adapts. I can go out in public without feeling like I'm being gawked and stared at. I know my health is so much better and my past issues are now resolved. That's pretty darn fun & magical to me.
I learned to lose. Now I'm learning to live.
This is not some activity we can allow ourselves to get bored with. This is our LIFE, for the REST of our lives. I can no longer squander and waste the years away as I did obese. I have food issues that I will have to work on and deal with for the rest of my life, and I'm OK with that....I'd rather deal them thin than obese.
Again, another excellent thought-provoking post, Elina.
H - 5'4" SW 260 / CW 133 / GW 150 GOAL in 9 mo 11 days!
