It's going to be a rough day

Ive had a great last couple days - being back on track, eating well, getting a little exercise. Even though ive been battling serious acid/hunger, ive managed to stick to my plan. 

Yesterday, the scale was very nice to me, and dropped a few lbs.

Today - I was up another 5 lbs. Yes, im sure it's swelling and the freaking soup I ate yesterday. But still messing with my mind. 

I decided that the scale doesnt own me, so I packed my bag and headed out for my first attempt at spin class post-plastics (its been about 4-5 months actually since ive been spinning). I was looking forward to it. But it didnt really work out as I planned - I barely had the strength, and my swelling in my lower stomach made it very uncomfortable. I stuck with it for about 30 minutes, but then decided I better stop, so I did the walk of shame right out of the class. 

Between the disappointment on the scale, the spin class disappointment, all I want to do is EAT. Actually, I'd be happy with a day full of chike protein shakes, but still - same idea. It's going to be struggle today, but I think if I have realized one thing - it is easier to STAY on track than it would be to fall off and have to re-start. So, I might have a rough day, but I am not going to give up. I might just be more afraid that Ms Shell will kill me, but either way, I'm going to make the most out of this day. 

So, one choice, one meal, one snack at a time - I will survive this day. 

You did the right thing by walking out! You could have hurt yourself if you pushed too hard when your body was ready to give out. If it's been months since you've gone, you have to get back into it. It may take a little time. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing great!

Yep, walking was best!  No shame, you need to heal first and foremost!

I am proud of you!  You are fighting the good fight and it's not easy.  Hey, want to play a game with me called "Change Perspective"?  I am going to pretend you said, "Oh yes, Elina, and jumped up and down with joy".  :)  (Hey, it's my game, I get to use my imagination)  

I want you to first imagine where you were before the VSG. Now imagine yourself today.  Look, really look at how far you have come.  It really is almost too amazing for words.  Think about all the other obese people out there and what they wouldn't give to have the opportunity to make the same transition as you already have done.  You are a rock star.  You are a warrior.  Today is just a small bump in a big  long road.  Those five pounds are just expected water weight from surgery, they have nothing to do with your strength, determination, or commitment.  They have to do with healing, just normal healing.  Find the strong and determined you and thank her for getting you this far.  I know you are going to go even further with her.  You can do anything, you have already proven this. I love you, hugs to you and may your day get brighter.  Can you go for a walk outside somewhere beautiful today?  That would help me see things differently.  Nature and music are my healers, what are yours?

Hopefully I'm having coffee with Kairk :) that should definitely cheer me up!

I know I need to spend more time looking at the bigger picture and focusing on the positives. It's hard, but that's definitely my challenge. I decided to sit and make a list of everything good that came out of today 

- I still went to the gym in 26 degree weather. Going is half the battle. 

- my thighs don't hit te bike seat when I pedal!

- my arms don't jiggle

- I actually don't run from all ththe mirrors-

I still did 39 minutes which is a good starting place

So....that somehow took care oof the desire to eat :)

i remember feeling like I'd never recover from my vsg but I did and I'll make it through this. 

Thanks for all of your support!

Hang in there and keep on rockin it.  You got this.  I had all my plastics done in 2012, all separate surgeries except arm/breast lift combo. I cant imagine trying to recover from all of them at one time but it sounds like you are doing great.  I understand where you are coming from and it is easy to get discouraged but by next year this time, all this swelling will just be a memory, one that you will have dealt with and overcame.  There is only so much you can do for the swelling  Vent as much as you want but be kind to yourself and try to remember all the positives in your life.  You are an inspiration to so many of us.  You completed a marathon and are all setup, gear wise (yep I read your posts) for achieving your goals as a tri-athlete.  I have no doubt you will be successful in that as well.  My new boyfriend is a tri-athlete and competes in several events through-out the year including the full iron man and half iron mans.  This year I will be training for my first sprint.  We all have to start somewhere. 

Best wishes to you!

Elina, you give the best advice!  Exactly what people need to hear.  She is lucky to have you as a friend and we are lucky to have you as part of our OH family.  You are such a beautiful person both inside and out.  Thank you for all your wisdom, your struggles and your successes that you share with us!  I have been sleeved for over two years and have been maintaining for about 10 months now.  I just started using MFP to keep track of my food about 5 weeks ago which is really helping with the maintenance phase....like you have said and I have read many times...I too think this maintenance phase is the hardest part of all.  Like you, I have a red line that I refuse to cross.

Again, love reading your posts.  Thank you for your time and commitment to helping others with your wise words.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Stay on track, one thing at a time... drink lots of water and be kind to yourself. Love you, girl!

Hey! You call yourself "sexyskinny*****"...RIGHT?

Well don't let the emotions turn you into something you're NOT!!

Let's take a minute and look at what you DID...not what you DIDN'T, shall we?

OK ...1) Great last couple of days...BACK ON TRACK!!!

          2)BATTLING serious acid/hunger and still sticking to plan!!! ( Like sexyskinny*****es do!!!)

          3) Went to SPIN CLASS for the first time in months...while you're still status post SURGERY!!!!

HELLO!!! ???!!! Get out of the negative...get with the GREAT things you've done...keep busy...and stick to your one bite at a time...with LOTS of water

You WILL get thru this day...and when you wake up tomorrow...you will be feeling better. You WILL!

This was my attempt at tough love I hope it helped!!! We'll be watching for your "survival" post tomorrow!!!

(If that doesn't work...well, I guess Ms Shell will have to take you out?)

Peace!

~Deb

Awwww thanks. I'll definitely get my head on straight before ms Shell gets to me!