Can we really celebrate in the same way we did before VSG? My answer.

This is an incredibly wise posting, Elina. I know in my earlier years I would think that if I lost enough weight to "look normal", and I would "act normal", I would somehow magically BE normal. It isn't true - wont ever happen. It's doubly hard because when we are normal weight people treat us as if we ARE normal and we soooooo want to believe it.

I have a friend who was a practicing alcoholic for the 35 years I knew him - the worst i had ever known. He tried every way known to man to quit, with only short term success. Ten years ago he got, and stayed, sober. I asked how he did it. He said he changed every single pattern in his life. He was so immersed in the disease that he had no idea which things he did were contributing factors. He used to sleep late so he started getting up early. He used to play golf so he changed to basketball. It may sound odd to someone reading this, but if you let yourself really hear this message, it is very powerful - and if you ever looked into my friends clear, focused eyes, your doubts would dissipate.

Annie

Annie, your friend is brilliant.  He did the exact thing that would work.  In truth, probably the only thing that would work.  Very powerful testimony. 

I learned this the hard way this year. Last year, I could barely eat an ounce of food before I felt full - so my thoughts on food were focused on what I could and couldn't eat. This year, I could and did eat more. I decided early that my plan was to allow myself one day - Christmas day. That was it. Well, I made the most of my one day (even started Christmas Eve for good measure).

The thing I learned is that I made this huge change in my life, WLS, and then reverted back to old ways for one day. It just didn't feel right.

Have you ever lived in one place for a long time, moved away and then gone back to visit. If its a small town, you still know everyone, but you really don't know them anymore. If its a big city, everything has changed, roads, shopping centers, everything - nothing feels familiar. Last summer, I drove the kids past our old house that is only 10 miles away. We move 5 years ago. When we drove by, both of my kids asked, "which house was ours?" When I drove down that street, I felt like I was intruding in on other people's lives.

That's how it felt to go back to my old way of eating for one day. It felt strange, uncomfortable.

I learned something about myself, so all is not lost. I learned that my tummy and I both want to figure out some non-food centered activities for next year.

Slim - your post made me cry, but in a good way.

I would so LOVE to say that you are just wrong, wrong, wrong about this! But I can't.  I love to bake and cook, as does my son, and it's something we've always done together, and I would sorely mourn the loss of that!  But I have learned my limitations:

1. My downfall after my big Atkins loss -- baking (and eating) cookies.  Absolutely. No question.  I had gone for about a year of practically no sweets, and no baking.  So I thought I was "past all that!"  Wrong!  It was a holiday, I'd lost a lot, I had "rules" for how/what sweets I would eat, etc.  I baked, and was OK, but then I ate a cookie.  And another.  And another -- and thus began the slippery slope that I was never able to climb back out of.  I broke my own rules and paid dearly for it.  And I firmly believe that it could happen again -- yes, with just one homemade cookie. 

2. My son, the skinny vegetarian, is a great baker and cook.  And you know, we can still cook together.  Just no cookies.  Cakes, pies -- I'm fine with those, and have no problem following my rules.  I might have a taste, but that's it. Nothing more, no piece of my own, etc. (and it's recorded and worked into my daily allowance).  Then -- whatever is left goes into the car with him when he goes back home -- I don't care that my husband is scrounging around the kitchen asking if we kept any pecan pie - NO, we did NOT!  Cakes and pies -- for whatever reason, don't have the same pull as cookies, and never have. 

As Elina said, it's knowing your weak points -- mine is baking cookies (some really good bar cookies fall into that category too!).  In my heart, I don't want to believe that some of my baking days are over -- but in my head, I know it's true. 

So what did we do differently this year:

1. We made vegetable tagine with my new pressure cooker!

2. We made roasted veggies with tofu!

3. I made spaghetti squash with grueye and garlic!

4. We made ONE pecan pie (that did not call my name)!

And the journey continues...

I woke up this morning and read all of your thoughtful, intelligent and committed responses.  I am so lucky to be sharing my journey with all of you.  We can do this, and it's easier to do it when we do it together.

I really, really needed to read this today and get back on track. I am still struggling with maintenance.

Thank you again for sharing your wisdom with us! 

Hi Faye, have you had a chance to read this thread, I highly recommend it.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/vsg/4593792/Forming-new-habits-please-chime-in/

Thank you so much for sharing this thread with me. I had not read it but will be now over and over again.