My response to my brother's "you did it the easy way" comment

Great response. Sounds like you made a life change and did not just depend on your new tool to do the work for you. Excercise is just as essential in our journey as the diet is. Hopefully your brother has a change of heart after reading your email. It takes hard work and dedication to get results and keep the weight off no matter how you do it. 

Great job on your journey. 

Thanks! I have never been afraid of exercise and having to work hard to get results. But I got so tired of limited results due to my inability to control my eating long term. I knew that I would still work hard at exercising and after I had a run in with breast cancer last September, exercise and being at a healthy BMI became very important for me staying cancer free. I completed 4 sprint triathlons at around 230 lbs. I hope to do at least one next year and a lighter, fitter weight for comparison!

 Very well done! I love when people give a "come back' this is respectful and not just totally flying off the handle. You loose ALL your power when you "loose it" 

I have to agree. But I am not angry, my brother and I have never really discussed my surgery so I doubt if he really understands it - I hope this helps in that regard. I tried very hard to be cool headed and not be on the defensive because I don't believe I have anything to defend, just wanted to explain.

I told my doctor the following, when I discussed with hiim the option of WLS and all of my prior attempts: 

I have done "the usual" Weigh****chers, Jenny Craig, Phentermine, low card, blah blah..but I have also worked out with a retired army trainer lifting cynder blocks, flipping tractor tires, running, ketel bells, sit ups, etc for three months, as well as doing a liquid diet two different times for four months each time!!!  I DARE any slightly overweight, or skinny person to  even attempt those regimines and still tell me I haven't tried, I don't have determination, or that I am weak and lack self control!!!!! 

I think my explanation provided him with an insight he had never had before on what it feels like to be overweight and judged for your "lack of self control".  If you haven't been there, you don't know.

Bravo!

Great response.  Well done and sensitive too. 

I am one of those *****ally hasn't told anybody.  Just didn't feel like sharing it with too many folks.  And as far as easy??  I'm 3 and a half months out and am thinking about this just about every minute of every day.  It's time to eat; I need more water; did I track that food/exercise/water;where is my protein"   etc., etc., etc. 

I find myself thinking that is NOT easy.  I'm hopeful I can be as diplomatic as you when I get that comment for the first time.  haha

Perfection.

I'm glad that you shared your letter. I truly believe that if people would express themselves calmly and clearly, they will have no need to be infuriated, bitter, and resentful.  So many people hold it in and hold grudges which only harms them. I'm too happy for having this surgery to waste energy being angry at someone who just doesn't understand or know what they are talking about.

We know what the common comments are. Just respond when necessary and keep it moving.

Someone who saw me eating a salad at a business meeting said "see, you are doing it the right way." I said, "Yeah, whatever I find works for me is the right way."  I didn't assume that she would say surgery was wrong. She may have been thinking about fad diets.  I'm not going to get angry or tell my medical business during a meeting.

But I did talk to my aunt about it. I told her that people may think it is an easy way out, but no one has the authority to decide how much harder your life should be. I also make sure that the people who know about my surgery also know about my exercise and food choices.

I used to exercise like a crazy person. It is so nice to have this restriction to help me not undermine my sweat.

Again, thanks for posting your letter.

 I would be honored to have such a kind, warm, thoughtful and loving woman as my sister. Your brother is a lucky fellow! 

 Very, very well said!