I've officially lost my husband (in weight!)

 I know right...weird! From my heaviest weight, I am down 122 lbs. That's more than two of my best friends weigh...like almost 10 pounds more than each of them weigh...and I'm still a long ways away. Sometimes when I think like that, I realize how much I didn't realize I was so large. 

Great job!!! Way to go!!! :) 

It really is a form of denial. At 375, I saw myself at probably 275. Now I see myself at 250. One day it will catch up. Hopefully. So I'm told.

So awesome! You really are an inspiration!

I know right? How did I get so big? It didn't happen overnight. But just like I numbed my emotions with food, I also numbed and distorted my perception of myself. Afraid to own up to what I had done and what I would have to do to change the cir****tances. Thanking God that HE gives us second chances and remember, so do others. So keep giving yourself this awesome second chance at living life to the fullest.

Thank you for sharing and inspiring others. Your journey is amazing and really encourages us all!

That's really the thing, right? "How did I get so big?" "How did I do that to myself?" "Why didn't I do something sooner?"

All questions that roll around in my head, but I try to keep it in perspective... we only are ready to change ourselves and the world around us when we are ready to do it. I just simply wasn't ready until I was.

 Honestly, even after a year, I still don't have that perspective.

...and that fact was driven home to me tonight when I went through my closet.

I started out at 5'5" and 252lbs.....

....I did get rid of most of my 'larger' clothing as I 'sized down' through the winter and early spring.

Then I hit a stall in May...and started a new bc prescription at the urging of my OB/GYN and managed to GAIN 12 lbs.  That, in and of itself, almost killed me!

I had continued to see myself as that 252lb girl...and that additional 12lb gain?  Oh, man.  I was degrading myself, chastising myself....being so hard...so horribly hard on that girl.

When I realized the gain (mid August) I decided to own it...and accept that I needed to make some changes.  I am VERY, VERY lucky and blessed to have a no-nonsense dietician ...who I had to see at the 1-year mark.  When I stepped on the scale, her statement was, "What happened to you?"  


If you didn't know her, you would think that was harsh.  and...at that point, I had started trying to work the excess weight off......but I was still 8lbs above what I had weighed in May.

I explained that my OB/GYN had prescribed a new pill for me...to try to get me back to a 'normal' cycle (TMI, sorry)....and that had put 12lbs on my frame..in less then three weeks...no change ot my eating or exercise, either).  When she inquired about he prescription..she laughed and said, "I'm surprised you didn't gain FIFTEEN pounds!"

And, yes, I had done my research, weight gain was a very, very common complaint of this pill....but damn if I was gonna let it happen to me!!!

I have finally gotten that weight off ....and stare at the scale.....and I think.."I still have so far to go......"

Then I remember...I have come SOOOOOOOO far.  Not as far as many have...of course......but each journey is unique.  Mine is my own...and there are still 24 pounds that need to meet their Maker.....as soon as possible!

 My younger sister is visiting this weekend....and she is having her surgical consult on Tuesday, September 4th.  

I feel very, very responsible for her.  She has decided to have the sleeve based on research and the results I have experienced.  

I feel almost obligated to make sure I do the best I can with the tools I have been given.  
Tonight....it really struck me....I went through my closet...and I basically discarded half of my wardrobe...the size 14 items...plenty of business suits, sheath dresses, etc.....realizing that they are all really too large to wear...but I have been holding on to them...thanks to the BC weight gain and some irrationa. fear.

(Fingers crossed) the little sis will have surgery with the same surgeon I used....and will (hopefully) have the same initial results.  Our running joke is that she won't have to buy a single item of clothing until she hits size 10.....because big sis has ALL of that covered!  
I went back and calculated what I spent on new clothing in size 12 and 14 and realized I was pretty lucky - I hit major sales, etc....and bought all of my 'interim' clothing at about 10% of its original cost.  

Now...if my rear gets in gear and I have to shift down into 8's?  (I am already in 10's)......my budget is going to scream! 

Yeah, I REALLY only see the difference in photos. I'm starting to shift a little, but photos really drive it home.

Sigh, I just went through part of my closet again. I started in size 34 and 6X and am now in XL and 16/18. The mounds and mounds of clothes that have come in and out of my house is crazy. And now I'm out of clothing again so I have to go shopping. Never. Ending.

Thats awesome! Congrats and well deserved!

Yay, Candy!!!! That is an amazing job!! Keep on trucking!!