"Where are they now" ... 4 year 8 month VSGer
Your last sentence, "I've learned just this year that my new normal is to cry at the drop of a dime anytime I think of her." That tells me that you have unresolved grief issues around the death of your mother and I wonder, if some of your eating issues are related to trying to numb your feelings of grief? Have you had any grief counseling? If not, it might help. We all eat for different reasons and trying to numb feelings is a huge reason for overeating. I have certainly done that.
Gail
Gail
" 
Hey Gail I haven't had grief counseling and I don't know if it's unresolved its just I miss her so much. When I had a bad day she was the first one I could call, so I absolutely AM turning to food for that comfort that I no longer have. Which is just two-fold because I used to always turn to food for all the emotions I listed above so this is just a NEW "reason" for lack of a better word. She isn't always the reason I eat, stress, birthdays, etc etc etc.
Trying to love myself without the food or whatever...still a work in progress...but realizing how much I miss her is actually the catalyst to help me in overcoming some things.
Trying to love myself without the food or whatever...still a work in progress...but realizing how much I miss her is actually the catalyst to help me in overcoming some things.
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
I totally know what you mean. The oddest things make me cry sometimes, things that for various reasons make me think of her.
Now I'm working on trying to remember her not sick. Like at the end, it was really traumatic, I mean staying up with her at night changing her because she couldn't get out of bed and listening to her talk about things that weren't real. Sometimes she would wake up suddenly, sit up and ask me if she was going to die. It's tough to think about, and it's not what I want to remember of her.
I'll be the first admit, I'm crying as I type this. It helps to know that I'm not alone here, most definitely.
Now I'm working on trying to remember her not sick. Like at the end, it was really traumatic, I mean staying up with her at night changing her because she couldn't get out of bed and listening to her talk about things that weren't real. Sometimes she would wake up suddenly, sit up and ask me if she was going to die. It's tough to think about, and it's not what I want to remember of her.
I'll be the first admit, I'm crying as I type this. It helps to know that I'm not alone here, most definitely.
Believe when I say I was crying with you. I remember the end, but the life!!
Celebrate your mother by living the best, heathy life possible!!! We'll do it together =)
Celebrate your mother by living the best, heathy life possible!!! We'll do it together =)
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
Ms Shell, truer words have not been spoken. I do love you.
Prior to surgery, I saw my compulsive eating come roaring back full-force after keeping it at bay for many years. It can be shocking - especially if we think we're cured.
I'm so glad to be on this journey with you. Thanks for not giving up on us!!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
The only time I'll give up is on my death bed!!!
Yeah when you think you got the devil beat and he POPS up laughing at you. Humbles you for sure!!
Yeah when you think you got the devil beat and he POPS up laughing at you. Humbles you for sure!!
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
Hi Ms. Shell, I have been coming to this board for two years and I am fast approaching my 2 year surgiversary at the end of the month. I always looked forward to reading your postings and found them to be not only informational, but also inspirational. Thank you for being here.
When I was about 5-6 months out and found out that I could eat more, I started realizing that it was more about my choices than about the surgery itself. Every friggin day, we have to make choices. Some days are better than others. I have been maintaining within a 2-3 lb window, but it is work and constant mindfulness. The head issues can be deadly, if they aren't worked out. I am very, very afraid of the future and try to take one day at a time.
I appreciate your honesty and telling us what the reality is, 5 years out. You are a success, because you haven't given up and continue to work on your demons. I applaud and respect you for the difficult work that you are doing. It takes a lot of courage.
Thank you,
Gail
When I was about 5-6 months out and found out that I could eat more, I started realizing that it was more about my choices than about the surgery itself. Every friggin day, we have to make choices. Some days are better than others. I have been maintaining within a 2-3 lb window, but it is work and constant mindfulness. The head issues can be deadly, if they aren't worked out. I am very, very afraid of the future and try to take one day at a time.
I appreciate your honesty and telling us what the reality is, 5 years out. You are a success, because you haven't given up and continue to work on your demons. I applaud and respect you for the difficult work that you are doing. It takes a lot of courage.
Thank you,
Gail
"
OMG those demons were just sitting and patiently waiting for me to well give up in essence, but I'm a fighter =)
Thank you again Gail and also for the comment about my mom...it's taken me until now to really realize that I didn't mourn her, I throw myself into WLS then goal then plastics and then when all that was done I was lost again....but I figured it out, am figuring it out!!
Ms Shell
Thank you again Gail and also for the comment about my mom...it's taken me until now to really realize that I didn't mourn her, I throw myself into WLS then goal then plastics and then when all that was done I was lost again....but I figured it out, am figuring it out!!
Ms Shell
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
Thank you for you post... and the honesty you have shown.... I can see myself in your writting..... I have to get back on track also and I let some bad habits slide in... I have not gained but my loss is getting soooooo slow.... I have decided to look at weight loss the same way I did when I quit smoking.... DON'T BREAK THE SEAL... I had started to let the carbs start sliding in my diet... Not tracking like I should... etc... When I quit smoking I decided to never again put a cigarette to my lips and it has been 10 years now. I am not going to break the seal for carbs this time... no white flour, refined sugar, white rice, potatoes... no unmeasured carbs, protein or fats.... keep the carbs under 40, excercise everyday ( good heart rate and get sweaty)... every day, everyday, every day... don't break the seal............. thats my new motto...
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