Miracles happen!

After my disasterous day yesterday (which did get better and ended with a great workout), I woke up feeling kind of peaceful today - ive been having a lot of anxiety lately, but not this morning.
(first miracle!)

When I came into work, I went through a side door and noticed that there was a box of donuts. My first thought was "omg, now i'm going to spend the day thinking about and having to resist the donuts".  Every single time for the last 8 months at this office that they have donuts, the day sucks because I feel like I have to use all my will power to resist (and 50% of the time, i fail!). I always think about it OBSESSIVELY all day - because, i am a food addict.

I was sitting here working, drinking my water, and it occured to me that after I walked by the donuts, I have not had ONE SINGLE thought about the donuts. All day. I have not really had any obsessive thoughts about food today. I'm still a little stressed with some things at work, but it's weird that i'm not feeling anxious, and it seems to be directly tied to my obsessive thoughts about food. It's been a huge relief to be able to work today with thinking about food! It doesnt happen to often for me. I was totally shocked by this realization.

My doctor prescribed some anti-anxiety meds that ive been extremely resistant to taking, but I may reconsider now that I realize that my OCD/obsession with food might be tied to my anxiety and might be a symptom and not the cause of most of my problems.

I wasn't really sure I wanted to post this but ive been reading a few posts lately about the head issues that come along with WLS - and decided to share this because I want people to know it is possible to be succesful even with these issues. It takes a lot of work, constantly being aware of when/why I eat, and its a daily struggle to summon up enough will power to resist the urges/ocd thoughts about food, but...I do it because I realize it's easier than being 420 lbs.

First off, thanks for sharing. Whether you realize it or not, you are helping one of us out here that is grappling with the same issues. Bravo to you, sister!

 You are such an inspiration to me! I love reading your posts and listening to your good advice. Encouraging to see that even after being sleeved for a little bit, you still can have unexpected victories. Revel in it, you deserve it. Hope I am half as successful as you have been when I get my surgery in september.

Don't just hope for success - you have to make it happen. Really start focusing on why you eat and dealing with those issues in advance. Even though I spent a year focusing on that, it's still a work in progress (and probably will be for quite some time).

Amen Sister!!

First, I'm glad your day got better.
GOOD WORK passing up the donuts AND for the great insight.

Finally, thank you so much for posting this after all...I know sometimes its hard to put stuff out there..for whatever reasons...but thi****s so very close to home for me. I just want to say that I appreciate you sharing....it helps tremendously.

I learned its much easier to pass up the donuts when I'm not thinking about them every minute of the day lol!!

I totally get what you are saying.  I thought that once the physical hunger was under control I would be "cured."  The problem is that my head still knows how gooooood food is and it is a battle every day for me to resist the gummy, fruity and chewy candy that I love so much.  I do it because it is easier than being 312.  Very well said.

A lot of people think that physical hunger is the problem and that having a small stomach is the answer...that's why I'm putting this out there. It's so much more complex than that.

Great insight!!! Underlying anxiety is the root of OCD/Obessive thinking, so the anti-anxiety pills may be very helpful. Congratulations on jumping through another hurdle!!




Gail