Hardest thing i've ever done

 I have been kicking it around, I too suck at sharing and having to go over my whole life history (which is twisted and seriously effed up) with someone new always puts me off the idea. 

I hope this helps you, b/c you are really an amazing person (and I know this, not even having met you yet!) and you need to feel good about who you are and who you are becoming! 

HUGS. 

Congrats on making such a huge decision. I, too, have struggled with depression post-op, something that I never experienced before, and certainly not in the way I have now.  I am also a VERY private person (maybe it's a "fat chick" thing??), and after a few months of therapy still find myself holding back at times.  My therapist is helping me to focus on finding joy in life that doesn't come from food.  She's not an expert in eating disorders, but I really feel like she is helping me become a better person. I've learned to forgive myself for past transgressions and focus on the future, and on becoming happier and healthier.  We talk about WAY more than food, though.  She's the one who got me to acknowledge that I probably need to move to another town to fulfill my emotional potential, and be closer to my family in the process.  It's something I've always felt in the back of my head, but it was easier just to go on with my everyday life.  Now that my everyday life is so different, this issue has come to the forefront. And I'm happy to report that I am moving forward to try to find a job elsewhere, leaving the safety of the town I have been in for 15 years.  It's a scary idea on some levels - to leave the security of a good job, good co-workers, good home, and AMAZING friends and consider starting over again.  But I know my therapist has helped me realize this is what I need to do, for my SOUL.  My soul should be just as happy as my body is, right?? Even though it hasn't happened yet, I am excited about the potential for a better future!

The bottom line is that you can't go through the transformation we have gone through without it messing with your head and body chemistry.  It's a huge adjustment in so many ways.  And very few of us are equipped emotionally or intellectually to deal with all of the changes, and plan for a different future. 

You're doing the right thing, Alison! Good luck!!

I am proud of you for taking a step that can help you reach that goal of a healthier you. I also think it was wise to move closer to work so you can save money for plastics. If you end up staying there through winter, I can give you some hints on how to stay warm. I used to live where real winter occured. Plus I have a coworker who blasts the AC even in winter.

This is a very hard journey to take alone. A good therapist is someone who will be with you and for you in a way that supports your comfort, awareness, personal growth and healing. We all deserve to be our truest, happiest self and it is a therapist's job to provide the space a person needs to discover that part of themselves. A good therapist knows how to pace the work so that the client does not feel too vulnerable and so that the client comes to trust the therapist and their emerging self. I applaud you're giving yourself this gift.

I'm very glad that you've taken this step.  Counseling, both before and after surgery, has been invaluable to me in this process. 

It has really given me a new way to process the things I do and the feelings that I have, and I feel like I am finally able to move forward in my life without all the dysfunctional thinking and negative self-talk that had always been pervasive in my life.  My family of origin was/is extremely dysfunctional, albeit very normal looking from the outside.  It has been very difficult to undo 20 years of operant conditioning that I endured within that dysfunction, but my counselor has really helped me to examine and understand it and then leave it behind, and that is extremely freeing.

Thanks to counseling, I really know that I am going to succeed this time around and I will never go back to being that person that I used to be.  I have new found power and a belief that I am deserving of all the good things that I am working towards. 

I really wish you the best and hope that your counselor is as great as mine has been!

There are so many different types of therapy to choose from. EMDR is good at clearing shame and fear. Hypnotherapy, sand tray and body work is good at clearing issues on a subconscious level that are keeping us stuck. Cognitive behavioral therapy is good for changing habits and breaking thought patterns. Group work (i.e. OA) is a great supportive network for those of us that do not like "talk therapy". It really depends upon what your core issue is. Eating disorders are a symptom of another underlying cause. SInce this journey does not end with weight loss, I encourage all to seek out help during this adjustment period. I just pray we all find the right fit...it may take some trial and error.

Congratulations! I did therapy for 4 years before I did my sleeve and it really helped. I went to a group here in Hawaii that is established by Anita Johnson, the woman who wrote Eating by the Light of the Moon. We had a fantastic art therapist. I say that because art therapy helps bring out the issues we don't or can't talk about.

I had no idea I had an eating disorder. In fact one therapist refused to treat me because she didn't work with eating disorders. I was shocked and in denial for about six months till I got over my anger and embarassment. I thought it was normal to eat my uncomfortable feelings. After all, how many times have you seen women on tv reaching for the container of ice cream when their love affair ended or the Golden Girls late night cheesecake. The thing is that food high in carbs or fat does effect the release of those neurotransmitters that make us feel better... temporarily. But it does work and that's the double edge sword.

I also recommend books by Geneen Roth like, When Food is Love. 

Good luck and I hope you get a good therapist who does deal with eating disorders.

Good luck! I took my daughter to therapy and one night she fell asleep b4 her appt so I sat and talked w/ the Dr. I was shocked at how much I actually enjoyed the conversation and having someone listen to me and not judge but offer helpful suggestions to move forward. I sure hope you get a Dr. that will arm you with self confidence and motivation to move forward. 

I always love your humor in post and look foward to seeing your input on threads! 

Life is too crazy to be super serious all the time! Gotta keep it light and laugh at myself :)

Congratulations to you for having the insight to know you need help and willing to step out of your comfort zone to ask for help. Seeing how successful you've been with the sleeve surgery, I would have never guessed you had any issues. You seem like a rock. I wish you all of the best.