struggling

The past few days have been a strugle with food.  While I haven't gone off the deep end (thank goodness!), my eating has been sloppy and I want to eat all the time.  As I write this, I am wanting to have a snack, and I just had lunch a little over an hour ago.  I got myself a cup of water and am sipping to ward off the demons.  My restriction is still working, but I am not always having dense protein, which I know doesn't help, though having cheese sticks or greek yogurt for the protein for my meal has been fine up to now.  I was upset with my family Sat. morning, and feeling ganged up on.  We were out for breakfast and thoughts of "the hell with it, I'm going to have what I want" went through my head.  Luckily the next thought was "you are NOT going back there" and I was able to have my typical out to breakfast meal, and was okay with it.  Yesterday was my daughter's birthday party.  I grazed instead of having lunch.  The foods I chose were okay, and the amount I ate added up to about what I'd typically have for lunch, but it felt somehow out of control.  I am trying hard today to stay within my guidelines and timeframes, but it is very difficult.  I will keep trying though, as I can't go back to old ways.  If you're still reading this, thanks for listening!

I so understand what you are going through.  It is so easy to slip back into old habits.  We had surgery  around the same time.  I am stuck in the dreaded plateau for 6 weeks now!  I'm so over it.   But I know I am partly responsible since I am not exercising regularly and I have let the carbs slip in.  I too am trying to really get on the water bandwagon and get motivated to exercise regularly.  Maybe this plateau is just what I needed to kick my booty into gear and do what I know is right! 

Hang on!  We can do this.  I am within 20lbs of goal....I don't want to stop now....and I certainly don't want to go back to where I was!  I wish the mind would change faster!!!!   LOL!  I want to take a pill that would make my mind behave and not play games with me!  If only there was one....but really, I just need to buckle down and follow program like in the beginning!  Hoping a few veterans will chime in on my plateau post and help me out! 

Don't beat yourself up too much....just start today new.  I find when I eat more carbs, the cravings for additional snacks start....so today try to increase your water and decrease your carbs.  Might just make the difference....I am doing the same today!

Thanks for the support and you hang on as well!  The funny thing is that I haven't increased my carb intake.  It's more that I've let up a little on times, etc.  The other thing that I just thought of is that 2x in the past week I've had fat free, sugar free ice cream for a local place, and I know better that this can be a set-up for me.  Duh!!! - as we say in New England "light dawns on Marblehead!"

 Don't feel despair and don't let yesterday poison tomorrow.  If you made bad choices in the past, its in the past.

It sounds as if you might still have issues with emotional eating.  I know I do.  When you feel the urge to eat, stop and question yourself really hard.  Examine what you are really feeling at that moment.  Then try to deal with that feeling without resorting to food.

I still struggle with this at least once a week.  I know as I start transitioning to maintenance Its going to be an even bigger struggle.  In addition to support groups I am adding private counseling in to my mental health mix.  I know I need to beef up my tools so I am going to focus on that as much as my diet and exercise.

You are so right on Rob!  Saturday was clearly in response to emotions.  I did recognize, at that moment, what was wrong.  I was physically hungry, so eating a meal at that time was reasonable, but the thoughts of just eating mindlessly was in response to being angry and hurt.  Even though yesterday was a good day emotionally, the demon was still running amok in my head, as it's been doing today.  I did go to an OA meeting last week, and will try to go again this week.  I have been going to monthly support groups as well.  I am now almost 10 months out and the honeymoon phase of this recovery is over.  The real work begins now, as I edge closer to maintenance too.  Just having written my post and reading/responding to the responses I've gotten is helping.  The intensity of wanting to eat is lessening.  Thanks for the support and the reality check! 

I think the strategy of just writing this down might be exactly what you needed.  You are not hiding from this, you are facing what is going on with you head on. That alone should help tremendously.  Just tighten it up for a bit and maybe recommit to your plan.  Sometimes it helps me to rewrite my plan on a new piece of paper as a little re-commitment ceremony.  You might want to have your own re-commitment ceremony.  Good luck to you and I know you will beat this moment.

 You don't know how right you are.  That was why I started writing my blog.  When I start writing one of my more angst-y posts, I am feeling the emotions.  As I complete the post it has usually had a cathartic effect.  Just by organizing my writing I have analyzed how I am really feeling.  By communicating it to others I have communicated it to myself.

For those who don't want to blog or post on here, I would really recommend a journal.

Thanks Elina!  It's been a couple of hours since I posted - finished work, picked up kids, etc., and I feel so much better!  I like the idea of writing my plan down and recommiting - makes it almost like a contract with myself.

 something i have found to help wiht the emotional stuff, when im upset i go for a walk, a good 30-60 min walk, i take water, and when i get home i dont feel like eating that junk food anymore,      last week i got munchies,  well i made airpopped popcorn, and i munched on that, its a heck of alot of fiber,  and dosnt put on the lbs,    for me excerise makes a world of difference.   hang in there and  try eating more meat  not the soft foods, you wil fill satisfied.

I think doing something active does help. I was at my desk at work when this was all going on, so couldn't go for a long walk.  But I can cruise the halls a bit.  Thanks!