I'm making progress!!

Almost all of my previous diet attempts failed (and a lot of my slip ups even post op) are all related to my very strong "all or nothing approach" - if I take one bite, what the hell, might as well just finish the day off with every bad thing I can imagine.

So....it's been a long process, I've worked really hard at trying to change that thinking - mostly, I've controlled the behaviors assocaited with it, but...I realized yesterday that my *thinking* is changing too.

It started with a trip to starbucks where I bought a "protein box" (ie 50 g of carbs, 13 g of protein...seriously???). I dont even know why I bought it - i wasnt hungry, but I knew I was going out be running around all night. Soo...I had the calories left for the day, hit my protein goal already, and decided it was worth it. I ended up eating about 2 oz of fruit, and a hard boiled egg. And then came the yumy bread and PB section. I only thought about it for a minute - and before I really knew what I was doing, I threw the bread out of my window while I was driving...(yikes, i'm admitting to an expensive crime!). It felt good - liberating.

So then I started thinking about my weekend plans. I've been having some anxiety about a trip to Vegas and whether I want to be super strict with what I eat or whether I want to "relax and live a little - ie indulge haha". But for the last couple weeks, I couldn't really see anything in between. it was either going to be a very good weekend or a really bad one - food wise.

But after my starbucks incident - it occurred to me to go to Vegas and just take it one decision at a time. I dont need to know right now if I'm going to make poor decisions tomorrow. And if I eat some carbs tomorrow, that doesn't mean I need to eat them on Sunday. And I felt at peace with that. After 2 years, I finally feel, for the first time, that this is getting a little easier.

Sooo...i'm off to Vegas to celebrate my new life. The last time I was in Vegas i'm pretty sure I was close, if not over, 400 lbs and MISERABLE. I slept and ate the whole time. Didin't walk more than 1/4 mile at any given time. Now, I'm ready to do Vegas "skinny" style There will definitely be pics when I get back!

 We really are so much alike!  My out the car window experience came with a bag of circus peanuts (you know, the nasty orange pure sugar candy ones), I was SO mad at myself for even buying them thinking "I will just have one or two as a treat now and then" but soon realized that it wasn't going to go down that way and I literally chucked the whole bag out the window onto the highway (just the food, I kept the bag LOL). 

It's a process, and you have come so very, very far. Have a blast in Vegas, wish I was meeting you there! Oh the damage we could do and the fun we could have LOL

 
Have fun in Vegas !!!!

Remember.....when it comes to weight....it's a lie.......

What happens in Vegas.......dosn't always stay in Vegas !!!!!

frisco

 Well if I lose a pound or two there, it BETTER stay there :)

 
Nope.......

You can only lose three things in Vegas......

- Money

- Integrity

- Virginity 

Hah !!!!

frisco

Good for you.  The head stuff is definitely the hardest part of this whole process IMHO.  I'm glad things are changing for you.  That means you are in a better place.  Congrats and put $2 on red for me in Vegas!!!!  Have fun!!!

Deb

Gurl, you seriously do not know how inspiring you are to me. The fact that we text everyday to talk about struggles & victories and how I get to see you once most weekends has definitely made my journey worthwhile. You have become a true friend to me.
You have made exceptional progress and so have I, because of you. Keep fighting that fight gurl. I'm in the ring with ya on your side, we can do this!!!
Next time, give me enough notice to go to Vegas with you!!! Damn, I would have gone if I could have & I would promise you no AMF's or chocolate covered yuckeos!! hahahaha!!!

 Aww thanks!! You already know you motivate me and I owe the last 10 lbs to you :)

 You got this!

I too am an 'all or nothing' person and I'm learning there is some middle ground!

Have a blast in VEGAS!!

I'm so happy for you. Have a great time, can't wait to see all the pictures!!!