Bagel Saga Continued...

Ok, wow I did not expect all that.  I have so much I want to say so I started a new thread.  Let's see, first off, for attention and to see how many hits I can get, uh wrong, sorry that was not the reason. To me this board is here for support, information and sharing individual journeys and that's all I was doing, sharing my journey.  The opinions, oh so many opinions, I appreciate everyone's honesty, even the ones that were considered harsh and bashing and the others who were more, for lack of a better term, supportive.  Just like everyone has thier own journey, everyone has thier own opinion.  Now if someone said "you are a food ***** for what you did" yeah that would be a little harsh and uncalled for.  Comparing food to smoking and heroin, ok I can see where are are going with that, am I addicted to food, hell yeah I am I used to weigh 305 lbs!  Do I need food to live, again hell yeah, do I need cigarettes and heroin, no, to me comparing the two makes a point but it is a little off, you can't quit food cold turkey, no pun intended! :)  You can however make healthier choices, did I the other day, no I didn't and I know that.  Does that make me a bad example for newbies, no, I don't think so, what happens if they are in the same situation, they may make a different choice simply because they read this, and they may make the same choice I did, it's thier journey.  I did not overeat, or eat anything I haven't been cleared for by my physician, would he appreciate my choice, probably not.  My diet since the 1/2 bagel has consisted of greek yougurt, boneless skinless chicken ( the rotiserre kind), turkey taco soup and carrots, that's it.  So am I off track because of my choice, no I don't think so.  Do I have unresolved food issues, I have been fat my whole life and I made a huge life change, I will ALWAYS have unresolved food issues of some sort.  Was I making excuses about why I ate it, no, I was simply explaining the events that lead to me giving into a craving, which by the way is completely gone.  I am really not trying to justify, I am just trying to explain why my journey is working for me right now.  I may have to change that down, sure I understand that, I may transition to an even healthier, stricter diet, but for now I am still losing and doing well I think.  Will I make it to my goal? Who knows, but maybe my goal will change, I don't know how it feels to be 150 lbs, so I don't know where I will feel comfortable, 180 lbs or 130 lbs I don't know, my current goal is a guess at what weight want to be, to me it's more about how I feel and not the number on the scale.  Will I succeed in having WLS, YES I WILL, and do you know why, I plan on using my tool to help me in the way I need help, a big one for me was portion control and feeling hungry.  My stomach may stretch but I will never again eat the quantity that I could before, no horses on my dinner plate!  I am happy with what I have done so far and I am learning every day how to change and tweek my journey to work for me.  Heck, I am now letting a trainer kick my butt in the gym and it feels great and I thought I would never say that! :)  This is my path for the moment and for now, it's working for me, it may not be your path or what worked for you but we are all different and we all make different choices.  I appreciate the warnings I guess that this may not be the best choice, but at the same time I have to make some of my own choices and mistakes.  I really did not expect such a response, I just wanted to share my journey and what's going on in my mind and life right now.  I wish everyone the best of luck in thier own journey's.  For those who think I am doing the wrong thing and I have the wrong idea and approach, I appreciate you concern and advice, I really do, I read each and every post and carefully considered it, like I said I may tweek my journey along the way.  And PS, I am not a dog but I still enjoy tasty food from time to time.

Whoa I missed the first post and honestly that's probably best.  Good luck on your journey.  Glad your committed to taking it one day at a time and recalibrating when you feel you need to.  Keep your head up.

I hear you girl. I read all the posts. While I will keep my opinions about it to myself, I did want to share a little something with you. I have not had surgery yet, but I know there will be some foods that I will miss terribly, basically my "go to" comfort foods. While I do not PLAN on going to them after surgery and try to avoid them at all costs, if I do get a hankering that just will not go away I am planning on doing everything I can to concoct a much healthier version of whatever it is I am wanting. Hopefully this will make the craving go away and help me get in something still healthy for me. It will be a win win situation all the way around. Best of luck to you in your weight loss phase, Best Wishes!!!!!!!!!

No, no, that was your first mistake.  Do not share your journey unless it fits in with exactly the journey everyone thinks you should be on.  glad we got that cleared up.  I think it's fine that people disagree with you, and i think you should be able to post your journey as your doing it and people post there opinions but the beating up just has to stop.  Do you all cane your kids when you believe they are going off the straight and narrow? Internet=anonymous, you too can be a sociopath.

It's your journey and you have to forge your path.  some people believe they have the magic 8 ball.  Some have all the answers but the thing is, a lot of us want to find out for ourselves, that is who we are.  Do i envy those who can eat what they want occasionally and get to goal, you bet your ass.  Will i do it?  I don't have the balls because I've been eating such low calories now that a glass of red wine shows up as 3lbs on the scale, so do i think being compliant at this low number of calories is the way to go?  No, it's just what i did and I'm not sure it was the right thing but it's the road i choose.  You see people weighing 400lbs who lose it doing it a certain way, it's amazing but it's just the way they choose to do it.  I'm not saying i believe that Ms D's is a health food store but damn, i don't see the need for such bashing.  It's done it's over and if it leads to unsuppressible urges (because you know EVERYONE has those) let us know that too.  Good info to have.

[quote] I think it's fine that people disagree with you, and i think you should be able to post your journey as your doing it and people post there opinions but the beating up just has to stop. [/quote]

I completely agree with Edelu.

I read the original post & replies and although I understood the concern that people were showing, it seemed like something in your post triggered the issues of some of the others and after a while, it just read like people turning their internal, unresolved fears and self-doubts outward. I get that we all have triggers. There is a lot going on with your eating, and I'm sure you're becoming aware of these disordered thoughts and behaviors and how they led you to needing surgery. I get that people were trying to direct your attention/awareness to the disordered nature of them. I get that for some people, "tough love" goes a long way. But there is a difference between "tough love" and excessiveness. I feel like the replies to the original post crossed that line.

I think you've shown great restraint in responding to (inappropriate) backlash. However, the incident has sparked some debate on the ideas of "the right" vs "the wrong" way, and has inspired a lot of us to look at ourselves and our emotional reactions to food conversations critically. All in all, a lot of opportunities for self-growth came out of this. Thanks for your post, keep your eyes open & your head up, girl!

Somayeh

I hope through some of the honest thoughts and opinions you read on that post, that you can understand that people care (or else they wouldn't bother replying) and that they really want you to work this and succeed?

We all got to this size from some pretty funky disordered eating of one type or another, and between the McD's, Taco Bell taco eating (and puking), and pizza eating posts.. it's kinda a red flag for some of us that have been there before surgery. Please take care and perhaps think about redirecting some habits.. it gets easier every time you do it- kinda like using a muscle.. at first it's weak and it hurts.. but it gets easier the more you practice. It really is kindness to yourself to work on it before you struggle vs waiting and seeing if what you are doing will work for you in the long run. Good luck!

While I do not agree at all with the choice you made I will not bash you. Like you said it is your journey not mine. The longer I hold off on eating unhealthy foods the longer I will have to learn healthy eating. Our bodies hold so little amounts of food I try to make what I do eat count. I listen to everything the people at goal here on OH say to the T because they obviously did something right to get where they are at. I want the same thing.

I do however applaud you for taking the harsh criticism like a champ though. Unlike some people I have seen that become total B's when they are scolded...

Hopefully you have at least learned something from your experience and steer yourself in the proper direction moving forward...

I was really surprised that some people got so mad at you. I just think as long as you do it every once in a while and don't let it become a huge problem, then it's ok. However, if you find yourself doing it more and more because it triggers your cravings, then you should probably reconsider. It depends on how it works for you. some people would eat one of those once a week and be fine, someone else might eat one and then find themselves going three times a week. Know what I mean? Anyway it is up to the individual.

You go girl!!