Secret Sleever

No one needs to know until you are ready to tell them!!! Only my  close family knows, and quite frankly if it leaks out, so be it. I am proud of  my decision to take the steps towards leading a healthier life. Think of the sleeve as a tool to help you reach your goals...they will be jealous, but let them wonder until you are ready to tell them. Just say: " I am taking steps towards leading a healthier lifestyle."

I told the people that needed to know - people at the insurance company, my PCP, my dentist, my OB-GYN, my supervisor who needed to approve me for time off, my daughter. I've also willingly shared to a degree my WLS journey with this message board. Everyone else has had to ask me what I'm doing to lose weight. Most people just tell me how great I'm looking and congratulate me on my success. Some ask me. I figure if they are ballsy enough to ask me personal questions then they can deal with my answer. I tell them that I had the sleeve done back in December and that I've been off all the prescriptions for diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol since the day of surgery; that since I started this process I've worked diligently to adhere to a low calorie, low carb, high protein diet and exercise every day. Most people are very supportive of my decision - but the only people who ask me are people who would be supportive. People who don't like me have learned I don't like them either so it is best they not harass me. Not everybody has that luxury or feels comfortable telling ugly, hateful people to back off.

I also understand that desire not to share all my personal business with just anyone. It isn't any of their business. And, it is my choice who, when, and if I tell anyone anything that is none of their business. It isn't lying. It isn't being in the closet. It is me controlling what personal information I share with other people who it is not necessary for me to tell. Not everybody tells me everything and most of the time I'm thrilled about that because I'm old, my brain is full and leaking like a sieve. For every useless fact my brain is prone to remember, I lose important information - like how to turn the shower on. That has happened.

So, there is my 50 cents worth. I love you and hope you aren't offended.

 Aside from the family I Nanny for and my close family, I kept the process from all others until I finished my last weigh in. Mostly to save me from the barrage of every ones good intentions and their hopes for me to give something else one last try before surgery. I have diarrhea of the mouth and am surprised that I kept quiet for that long. Now everyone in my life is well aware, facebook helped that and I answer questions as they come up. Currently lucky enough to not have been faced with many opinions. To each their own, do what makes you comfortable-that is all that Matters. :D

I had a sleeve in January and haven't told anyone except my immediate family.  
Before the surgery, I also didn't tell others how much I ate or how much I was gaining or how much I weighed.
I have lost 35 lbs.  When people notice and say "Wow, you've lost some weight!"  I respond back and say "Thanks, can you tell?"  If they ask how I've lost, I respond by saying "I have been eating more protein and less carbs and drinking lots of water and started walking every day."  That is usually all that is necessary. 
When I was on the Take Shape For Life diet, it was the same theory.  Having the sleeve is a tool that helps me stick with this better.
I am not ashamed of my sleeve.  In fact, I know it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I just know that everything you do in your life you should not be obligated to expose to everyone else.  I do not believe my life needs to be a billboard.

If there is an overweight person that really wants to know how I've managed to lose, I will tell them.  But just to put it out there to make it everyone else's business is not the way I live my life.  All in all, I feel this is personal and is my business.
Just saying

Do what you want when you want.  It is about being an adult. Peer pressure in either direction is silly. In this case, the pressure comes in the form of calling you a liar, deceptive, or suggesting psychological issues. Some people just talk too much and think people who don't talk as much are being deceptive.  That's their judgement- not your reality. 

I couldn't care less if people guess it.  If I don't want to tell you, I won't. I own my life.  I'm completely comfortable with those that I have told. Those that I haven't told (and there are many) are just not a priority right now. I've never been big on justifying myself, explaining myself, or seeking validation. 

My type of conversations: 
coworker: we missed you at the ceremony.
Me:  Really?  It's nice to be missed.  How was it?

boss: you weren't at the meeting. Is everything ok?
Me: Yeah, I had to be somewhere else. 

Now, I could have said, "well, it was a last minute meeting and I couldn't get my pap smear rescheduled within the next few weeks."  "Or, I had a doctor's appointment "(which would have lead to -Oh, is everything alright? which would have lead to - yeah, it is was a routine exam- which would have lead to wondering if it was just routine why didn't I get it rescheduled. etc.-- blah blah blah). Time wasted that I could have been using getting my work done.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.  You've told the people that you felt that you needed to tell. You may add more later; you may not.  The world will keep on turning.

I have also only told immediate family and close friends.

For my extended family, I didn't tell them prior to surgery because of the crap my dad got from them prior to his surgery (RNY). This was such a difficult and personal decision, and I had no interest in hearing their opinions about it. Post surgery, if any of them ask for specifics I will tell them. (And ignore them if they aren't positively radiant with happiness on my behalf.)

I have not told coworkers because my body is none of their business. It's not their business if I'm fat, if I'm skinny, what I eat, what I look like, what I wear, etc. I like my coworkers, and I'm sure most of them would be supportive, but our relationship is a professional one. I don't tell them about my love life or any other highly personal aspect of my life outside of work, so I can't imagine why I would share this. I have had several comments about me "looking good" and I just say "thank you" and keep walking. Every once in a while someone asks me how I'm doing it, and I say, "I appreciate the compliment, but I'm not really comfortable talking about this" and they drop it immediately. Like a hot potato. I don't owe them *any* sort of explanation, whether it's a lie, a half truth, or more information than they wanted.

I don't like the implication of some of the posts in this thread that the desire to maintain your privacy is somehow a side effect of shame. That might be true for some people, but I'm not ashamed of the decision I've made. I'm proud of the fact that I'm working my butt off to make this happen. I don't need the approbation of others to make me feel good about it.

I share with all who ask.  I don't broadcast it on FB or tell every human on earth that I had surgery.  But if someone asks, I answer with an honest answer of:  "I decided to have weight loss surgery, the vertical sleeve gastrectomy and it is going great for me.  Thanks for asking."

I find it more stressful not to tell them.