Secret Sleever

 Your point is not taken. I never said that I was or am uncomfortable. It's a choice and that's it. At this point agree to disagree. Thanks for your comments.

 If it's only a simple choice with no emotional context, if theres not something else going on - Why so much anger and passion over dissenting responses?  

The mental journey can be much harder and much more challenging than the diet and exercise.   On this journey we get prompted over and over to reflect on our decisions and get to the root of why we do certain things and feel certain things.  Why do we feel compulsions to do certain things?  Why do we make ourselves feel certain ways?  Why do we choose certain language?  I was challeneged in my group last night for calling myself a "bad boy" for cheating with some sliced pepperoni.  The language we use can be revealing.  Not all of the issues we may fight are with food, sometimes food is just a comfort item.  

The point that both Ruggie and I were making, independently mind you, is to take a look at WHY you don't want to talk about it with anyone but a select group?

 I actually don't feel like or care to go back and forth with you on the matter any longer. Again, thanks for your comments.

 My business!  I told my parents, sister and of course my husband.  Coworkes:  Thanks.  What am I doing? Physician-directed plan."   For about 3 months, that was my standard answer.  Now that I'm comfortable and getting the feel of it, I just say thanks.  If they pursue I tell them about it.

The thing is, now I have friends and co-workers that want to talk because I am a living close example to them and they are now interested and I have a couple friends that are pursuing it.

For me, it was my comfort level when and what to share and it still is.

You know what....this is your decision and your business. I do not feel like I am hiding anything by not telling everyone my business. The people I wanted to know do know and others if they ask I tell them that I am eating high protein, low carb and low calories. Also if they ask how much weight I have lost I say "a lot." That is not a lie.

Good luck on your journey...it will change your life!

I have only told 3 people at work and my immediate family.  I hate everyone at my job and i know for a fact they are questioning me because they are looking for gossip, not because they care.  I say I am taking care of myself due to diabetes.  Some want more but that's all they will get from me and even if i dropped 100 lbs in 6 months, they can ASSume all they want.. i will never reveal my decision even though is the BEST thing i have done for myself.

This is such an interesting discussion topic.  I'm more of an introvert and I don't share a lot of personal life with people who are not in my "inner" circle.  It has nothing to do with not wanting to share or being scared of people's reactions.  I'm just not a sharer.

You will make the best decision for you on who to share with and when to share.

Ruggie - where did you take the class?  It sounds fascinating!

Hey Wildcat -

It's a UC Berkeley Extension class in the Project Managment series (I'm working on getting a certificate in Project Management - i thought I'd be done in school after my PhD but noooooo).

extension.berkeley.edu/catalog/course241.html

The instructor was really great in teaching us to look at behavioral drivers.

Ah see - you understand that you classify people into an inner and outer circle, so you understand that driver- which is cool. :)

I also agree, that it is ultimately your decision about who you tell and when. I can understand not wanting everyone to know that you're having surgery to losing weight...its really not anyone's business.  If you want to, thats awesome. If you don't, then don't.

Me personally, I was worried at first about if I should tell people (other than my parents and closest friends)...not because I was ashamed but because I didn't feel like getting other people's opinions or having them worry about me ...especially family sInce I was having my surgery so young (at 20).  But ultimately I decided that I'll tell those who I feel like teling and if anyone specifically asks "how'd you lose all that weight?" then I'd just tell them, "I had weight loss surgery" and thats it. Obviously I'm proud of my decision and the weight that I've lost but mostly, I just don't give a crap if people know. Its my life, my body, my business. Others can be told to promply go kick rocks and blow bubbles else where ^_^

As for what to say, if someone just comments on your weight like "wow you look great" or "have you lost weight?" you can just say a simple "thanks". If they ask you "how", you can just say eating healthier and exercising or somethign to that tune.  If they keep asking for more detailed information on your weight loss plan then...well, then thats up to you. You don't have to feel pressured into telling someone anything...you COULD always just ignore the inquiries after all. I mean unless they're offering donate money for future plastics then its really no concern of theirs.

Whatever you decided to do or say, I wish you the best of luck on your journey :) :)

It's not a matter of being judged for me.  I don't want to have to explain at great lengths the choices I made to people that I don't feel I need to.

If I had cancer, I wouldn't be shouting it from the roof tops, thats just me personally.  So why should I about this?

It's all about your own personal choice.