Hubby thinks I am taking the easy way out!

I just have to say I love your avatar pic... I love cats...

My husband also promised to be supportive.  He did go to meetings and doctor appointments, but when I lost over 30 lbs pre-op, he asked me why I didn't keep trying on my own.  I said, I am choosing the path which will give me the best opportunity for successful and permanent weight loss.  Well, I had my surgery and the weight has been coming off and my husband couldn't be happier for me.  He sees how much happier I am and I am enjoying life!  He said it is as if I am remembering how to be happy again.  My Point: Once you have your surgery and your husband sees the changes in you, I suspect he will become a "believer".  Also, he will see that you have to work at it and it is not a magic bullet. Best of luck to you.  VSG is the best thing I could have done for myself! 

I agree with all the infor about this not being the easy way out. Those words are said by people who are ignorant. I have tried my whole life to lose weight and keep it off. I have be up and down over and over again. down 85, up 100, down 65 up 95, down 135 up 91 ... when you lose weight "on your own" means you are constantly fighting those cravings like voices saying eat this, eat that, sweets sweets, fat, fat, salty, salty, hungry, hungry, hungry all the time. It drives you crazy. I have been on every diet from unhealthy to health whole grain food, low carb, high protein, grapfruit, vinegar, etc.... This is the only solution that quiets those little cravings. This is the only solution that makes me feel really feel like I can do this. Its a restriction a tool and the rest is up to me. This does take willpower but not super human efforts. Remember our bodies are different, we have extra hormones that drive our cravings when we have an over sized stomach... the surgery removes a large portion of that hormone (grenlin).  That is what quiets the cravings.  You still have to follow a plan and change your life style... change your life. Stop using food to get emotions from or whatever.. Get counseling and other things you need.  It is in no way, shape or from easy. It is just a tool. the rest is up to you. And for all the diets and other things where you have lost weight.. shows you have willpower.  once you have this tool... your life will change forever... for the better.   You will need support from him... because if he does not support you fully then he will be an obstacle to your good health.  Sometimes this causes problems in the relationship dynamics and some people decide they need a supportive spouse and when they see they do not get what they need with the person they are with... they realize they deserve more...  I wish you luck... No matter what happens with him... you decide for you and your health... If he can not support you then maybe he doesnt love you as much as you deserve.... He needs to open his mind or risk losing you.  Take Care....

We must have married identical twins. My husband has never told me I took the easy way out, but he thinks WLS is total b.s. and that we should all just be able to put the fork down, get out workout, run, and lose weight on our own.

He was fully supportive even though he does NOT and will NEVER understand my NEED to have this surgery. At nearly 3 years out, he still doesn't get it, he never will.

So, it's his opinion, he's entitled to it. And, I told my husband, "ya know, opinions are like buttholes, and most are pretty shi!!y" He can voice his opinion all he wants, but he will tell your husband that the only way we conceived our beautiful daughter is because of VSG, and now I'm pregnant again so he sees the rewards even though he wishes I could have "done it on my own".

I'll add my husband is 6ft tall, built like a brick poophouse, run 1.5 miles in around 10 minutes, has a 29inch waist, can pop out 67 sit ups in a minute, and has never had a fat day in his life.

I told him "if you'd like me to give you children and live many many years, you'll keep your uneducated, ignornat and asinine comments to yourself, support me, and realize that this is NOT about you, or your "feelings', this is about me, my future health, and our life together. Either I lose weight, or you put me in a pine box early, your choice?" Not another negative word.

Becky,

One word of advice: STOP TRYING! Sometimes, unless someone else is on the same journey and has had the same experiences they cannot relate. Not even all morbid obese people believe WLS is a good decision. It took me 10 years to be convinced.

Point blank, your journey is your journey and it is all about you. In any relationship it is important to have support, but not everyone will support you especially in the beginning. Sometimes, you have to walk it alone and let people see why it was necessary and your progress. Some people will cheer you on after awhile just not in the beginning.

Keep coming on here for support and your doctor's support group, etc and stay encouraged!

You have gotten so many great responses!  I would suggest that you sit with him and DEFINE what "being supportive" looks like.  It's easy to say that he will be supportive, but you need to set the expectation for exactly what you need from him.  That way, you won't need one thing while he is providing another... and thinking he's being supportive.

Let's just say for sh*ts and giggles that this IS the easy way out. That instead of struggling and fighting like Atlas with the world on his shoulders that you can just have this done and lose the weight that's been complicating your life all this time.

Why does your husband want you to suffer that way? Does it make you a better person in his eyes? Does suffering somehow act like the fires of the Phoenix and purify you?

If someone truly loves you and supports you then they don't want you to suffer.

So ask your husband why he thinks you should.

I'm going out a little on my own from the other posters. I have actually had someone tell me I took the easy way out. Rather than getting all pissy I just simply stated you are right I did take the easy way out because I try the old fashioned hard way all my life. Seriously! I've lost 85, 50, 40, 25-30 lbs twice and was never able to maintain. I was a person who originally thought WLS was the easy way out and I know I made some comments about it to others. However when your PCP is looking you in the eye telling you that you will be dead by the time I am 54 was the biggest eye opener for me. I thank god every day that he said those things to me and I ran with them straight to my surgeons office and never looked back. This has been the BEST thing I have ever done for myself. My sleep apnea and borderline high blood pressure issues have been resolved. I am in remission from my type 2 diabetes. I can walk, ride roller coasters and water slides with my 10 year old grandgirl. All of this is priceless to me and if I had to "take the easy way out" to do these things with her, then I am damn glad I did!!

I'm with NanaDebby.  ****** RIGHT I took the easy way out - finally, finally, after a lifetime of ups and downs and suffering through the hard way.  How old are you?  I was 60 when I finallly got smart.  Does he want you to suffer that long?  It's not about easy or hard or anything else, it just needs to get done, one way or the other.  It isn't a moral issue, it's a health issue.

My recommendation would be to close the discussion.  You said it yourself:  "he has a closed minded attitude and won't even look at my side."  In my opinion he can either STFU or get on board.

 so, does hubby do everything in life "the hard way"?

so, he never uses a calculator or computer? Always walks instead of drives? Farms or hunts instead of buying food? Cuts his own hair, fixes his own car?

Me, I like to do things the SMART way. I like to use science & technology to improve my life, whether its choosing a weightloss method or choosing a way to get to work.

some things in life I like to do "the hard way". I do our taxes with a pencil (but I am an accountant). I prefer hand embroidery to machine. But I like using a food processor better than a knife, and email is way better than snail mail.

but weight loss? I can use old fashioned tools like weigh****chers, or I can use a more modern, efficient and effective tool like VSG.

its not like I won't still be doing the hard work of planning, recording and exercising...I'm just using a tool to make it better.