Wanting to share without being a WLS evangelist....

I have read some other posts by others about wanting to share the "good news" about WLS to people that are where we used to be.  My gorgeous sleeve sister, Hollyoosa, Ruggie, Elina and I think even Frisco have posted about wanting to approach people but not wanting to offend.

I recently considered buying a T-shirt that said, "I've lost weight....ask me how!" so that maybe some of those people would approach me.  But then I realized that I'd get questions from people that I didn't want to "share" with.  I don't have the stamina or the tolerance to deal with the ignorant or mis-informed or hear criticism for my choice so I decided against the shirt.

I read Elina's post about her SMO eye doctor and it made me want to cry.  I see so many people that I KNOW could benefit from this surgery and maybe just don't KNOW about it.  But how do you go up to someone and say "how would you like to get rid of 100 lbs of ugly fat?"  After you picked yourself up and spit out half your teeth, you might get a few words in before the cops came to haul you off.

This is really bothering me.  I am torn betwen being a walking VSG advertisment and keeping my mouth shut.  I dont' want to preach to people that aren't ready to listen.  I know all about willingness to change.  I wrote an umpteen page paper about the stages of change for an independent study grad school course.  The upshot of that snooze fest of a paper was that if a person aint ready, it aint gonna happen.  I am the poster child for denial and can relate to people that are burying their head in the sand and know that someone earnestly singing the praises of WLS to me before I was ready would've seriously pissed me off.  Would've been some serious eye rolling going on.

How do you "share the news"?  Do you shout hallelujah and praise the VSG or just wait to be approached?

 

I have a friend that wants to lose weight.  She knows about my surgery and knows how great I am feeling just 6 weeks out and down 50Lbs!!  Now she is interested and I have "shared" with her how much I LOVE my sleeve.

I don't think you can just approach people.  I would love to approach my sister but she doesn't have health insurance that will cover the surgery and definitely doesn't have the ca$h so I just praise and encourage her when she is on the treadmill or something.  Even BIg she is gorgeous and men stare at her.  She needs to lose about 100lbs I would say.

Anyway, let yourself be the advertisement and then people will start asking you "What are you doing?" 

I too know a few who would greatly benefit.  My sister mentioned that her hubby is really watching me to see how I do.  That makes me happy to know that I could be setting the stage for him.  

It sucks.

I'm in the same place.

You gotta make peace with the fact that you can't help people until they're ready to accept it.  WLS, substance abuse, domestic violence, whatever.  You can't try to force people before they're ready - you'll just turn them away.

Make peace with it.

 I am not a people person, I don't like to talk to strangers so I don't really have this problem when I am out and about, but I do have it in my personal life. I have family members that I know could benefit from surgery but I just can't bring myself to say anything, I figure the best way to get though to them is to do MY best and show them what success looks like (and let me tell you, it looks good in my size 10 jeans) so that maybe they will start asking me questions. 

I too want to shout to the world "I HAVE THE ANSWER!!", but I agree that we can't just approach people and preach at them.  However, when people ask or already know about our surgery, and see the results, even if they're not ready, we are planting seeds.  When and if a person is at the point of being ready to make a change, he/she will seek us out for info.  Never underestimate the power of our quiet examples!  I worked for the same place as my husband, for many years, so his co-workers know me.   He'd told them I was having this surgery and kept people updated on how I was doing.  One of the folks sought me out to get more info.  At this time, I don't believe she is moving forward, for some legitimate reasons, but her son has contacted the WLS program I went through to start the process.  So we do make a difference to others, at times, without preaching. 

   I work in a hospital, I got the idea from seeing many nurses loose weight from getting the bypass. I
honestly thought weight loss surgery was only being covered for the super obese, until I noticed these
nurses & talked to them and they told me about the comorbities factor.  So, initially just seeing others
prompts people interested in researching WLS "IF" they want to help themselves.   BTW, one of the
reasons I choose the sleeve instead of bypass is because I also noticed them slowly gaining the weight back!     So, I wouldn't approach people, but if asked well then I would promote it.  There are quite a few of my overweight friends just waiting to see how I do with this and they intend to do the same.

Millersdaughter, I'd like to read that "snoozefest" paper of yours!

I understand about wanting to tell the whole world. What I've been telling people, who express any interest, is that surgery is not a magic bullet. I still have to make decisions about what I put in my mouth and how much I get off my ass.

What kills me is that this or some kind of surgery could have saved my brother in law's life. He died Nov 30 at age 47 of a sudden heart attack, after being SMO for many years. My sister found him in their living room when she got up to go to work at 4 AM. But he wouldn't consider it. He didn't really think he had a problem. Nor does my sister, at over 300 lbs. And their daughter is 11 years old and weighs 225 pounds. I hope something clicks for her. I don't talk till I think people want to hear, because anything I say they don't want to hear will just go in one ear and out the other.

I find it happens naturally in my daily activities. Everyone I work w/knows and can obviously see it but when I go to the gym oftentimes it comes up. People see how hard you are working and regulars start seeing the loss. Or new employees will see me with my Blender Bottles and ask questions such as what am I drinking, the benefits of protein shakes, diet advice, etc. People notice when you turn down cake, cookies, chips, no longer eat $5 lunch meal deals or you only eat one piece of candy while everyone else digs in all day.

As you continue to be dedicated to the process and just being the new healthier you, it will lend itself to you telling people about the surgery.