A real life situation that shows WHY some of us are militant..(very long)

 It took me a long time to get to the point where I was aware of my issues (and many hours of therapy), I was even aware of what was going on with myself  this I just chose to ignore it. My husband did admit to me that he saw the warning signs too, but didn't know how to approach me about it without being afraid of hurting my feelings or being the "food police", he promised to not let it get that far again. 

Oh yeah, it's that whole internal dialogue thing. You KNOW you're doing it, but you chose to ignore that. It's a detachment thing for me. I just detach from the whole situation and that makes it okay.

Yeah, I see a counselor every other week myself. It helps.

 Excellent post, so descriptive of how the cycle works for so many of us.  I'm at a point in my life where I'm aiming for the middle, which is actually harder for me to maintain than an extreme in either direction.  I think we all have to find our way, and our way may be different at different points in our life, right?  You're a great writer, you described things very vividly.

I think the way has to evolve with the journey, I know it has for me! Every person has to find what works for them, I was just hoping that showing WHY some of us feel the need to be so rigid is a valid one, and that when we post its from a place of caring and support even if it seems to come off harsh and "militant". You have to take what you can, and leave the rest, but I try to get people to understand that even though it does not apply to them at THAT moment in time it could eventually, so totally dismissing it and burning bridges is just not wise.

It's hard to be in the middle, I tried and failed, so it's back to the "extreme" for me until I can reel myself in and get back under my own thumb LOL

Thank you so much for your post, I SO needed it today! I am also very militant when it comes to food, but had some issues on Christmas through yesterday. Your post helped illuminate some of my thought processes for me. Definitely an addict here, too! Thank you again for your openness and sharing!!!

I know what you are going through. I don't know where my head was, but for some reason I thought I could be Suzie Homemaker this Holiday season and bake  cookies and Pumpkin bread and cakes without any problems. Well, I also get up in the middle of the night with a 2 year old and found myself grazing in the kitchen. I was good during the day, but at night old habits were creeping back. I think I realized it when my husband came in and asked me, what happened to the spice cake you made. I had to confess I ate it. Even though I did not gain in any weight from my binging, I realized this can't continue. So no more sweets allowed in the house. It definately was a wake up call.

Awesome and excellent post - thanks so much for sharing this with us.

I totally get this, totally understand the pain of being weak to trigger foods, and that horrible, internal part of you that still is emotionally attached to food and says "I deserve this!" as if a slice of pizza contains so much worth!  I do that rationalization crap too - and hate myself for it the next day.  

Each time it's a learning experience, and each time it's longer until the next learning experience... but I'm always a tad humiliated each time.

At least you've realized it and addressed this - I could see how this situation would be one that set another person off on a regain spell.  Way to look in yourself and stay strong!

Wow you took all the words right out of my mouth.I always start out strict and sticking to the plan and then all of a sudden "ill just have one bite of this" or my friends say lets got to lunch and i think im going to order something not bad and be able to sit and not eat at the buffet with them. Or my boyfriend brings home pizza and im just going to have a bite....yeah ok.....Its like being a alcoholic .....what alcoholic goes and sits at a bar and drinks soda? none that i know.This journey of 6 months leading up to my sleeve date has real made me see how addicted to food and how food really plays a big part in my life.How i have become to gain so much weight.Its like having the devil on one side and a angel on the other saying...eat it....no dont eat it ....lol But you know what the most importat part i think is YOU RECOGNIZE what the problem was and brushed it off and got right back to doing yo ur thing.So please dont beat  yourself up for it.Be proud of yourself for sharing your thoughts with everyone on here to help us.Because i really appreciate it.Makes me feel like Im not alone.Knowin that other people going through the same things with food issues as me is a big help.Thanks again for your post.  

I teared up as I read your post, because I could totally see myself doing everything you did last night.  I have been heavy for most of my life and no one carries an extra 100 pounds around without some food issues.  I had also lost and regained the same 80-100 lbs six times in my life, so I know what it feels like to think you are cured only to fail one more time.  It's a heartbreaking spiral.  Thank you so very much for posting this today, I think it is always a very real possibility for all of us.  I asked my doctor if I really was cured, is this crazy ride really over, because it now feels over to me.  He told me that my chances of gaining the weight back are really small at this point, but yes, it can always happen.  And that is the real truth we all live with every day.  I am now a lot less militant about my food choices, but I am just as militant about my mindfulness of my eating and about keeping my weight in place that I have chosen.  If I ever slip, I will have my militant habits to go back to as necessary.  Journaling would be the very fist thing I would reintroduce.

Thanks so much for sharing!  You described your feelings so clearly!  I'm glad today is a better day for you.  It's so nice to see the supportive and open-minded discussion you started.  The past few weeks have seen so much division that is was nice to see the old warmth come back.  We all need to work our sleeves the way that is best for us, as long as it is healthy and safe.  We should all be respectful of each others needs.  Thanks again for all of your great insights.