What are you asking Santa for?

 I want a wife... dont laugh. I want some one to do my laundry, take the kids to the dr, school, hell all over. I want dinner ready when I come home and all the laundry done. I want her to buy and wrap all the gifts this year, send notes to family from time to time.  And spend all her time making sure me and the kids are happy. I am tired of being a wife and decided I want one for me. 

 ME TOO

 Can I get an AMEN to that, I will take one too Santa! I already told the husband that she will be MY wife, not a second wife for him. 

Its a long list... and doubt of it will happen but one can hope...
1.) Uggs (black tall ) size 8 if anyones feeling gifty... just sayn'
2.) TV for my new bedroom
3.) A new job
4.) New boobs
5.) Fried pickles from Buffalo Wild WIngs
6.) True Love
7.) Cooking Classes
8.) And this... Come on Jim make it happen.... Ill get you a taquito and cuppycake.

Oh trust me it is already wrapped!  I was lucky.....found it at the local flea market...it was only 10.00!!  What a steal!!   The lil Asian dude selling it said it is "genuine"  he kept saying "burbelly"  I thought it was cuz of his Asian accent....but nope....the label actually reads..."burbelly!"   Hope you don't mind!  Ooh  but it is real "Pleather?"  I'm guessing it is a new fancy type of leather?  Hope you like it!  ha ha ha ha !

LOL Jennifer... I want one of those too!!!

I'm not asking for much this Christmas, just a sleeve. lol

Santa Baby:

I want the following:

To fit comfortably in a size 14
New black boots that will fit over my enormous calves
A pair of seven jeans
A gift card to Nordstroms so I can buy all the bras I want (I love pretty bras) 
Continued success with my sleeve and
a purse like the one Jen requested

that's it, that's all

From Hanukkah Harry this year I would like for all of the boxes in my house to have been magically unpacked from my move and all the extra crap tossed to the curb or donated to Goodwill. I would like a new set of workout pants since the ones I have fall down when I run, unless I'm wearing the drawstring ones which I have to pull up to my armpits and tie if I don't want the crotch down by my knees. I would also like to retire so that I can enjoy my newfound energy and vitality instead of wasting all my time at work!

That's all.

World peace
Economic recovery
Cure for cancer
Goal weight and PS by this time next year
One good man to share all of the happiness with!

I'd love to see them all but I'll settle for #4 and work on the rest

 Can I just Xerox this, sign my name, and send it to Santa too? LOL, love it! 

I'd have to add a garden hose (because apparently I've reached "adulthood" and want practical gifts). And I'd like those Harley boots someone posted on the first page - well, howsabout the ability to fit into such boots first and walk in them without breaking an ankle?