I'm an addict and I hate it...

Once when one of my sons was about 4 years old, we were standing in line at the grocery store with a huge display of candy right in front of us.  My son's eyes got very big, and he picked out a candy bar and asked me if he could have it.  I told him "No, it isn't kosher."  (We keep kosher).  Without a word, he put it back on the display and just waited quietly until checkout.  A lady who was behind us told me that she couldn't believe that a little fellow like that would just immediately put the candy down without even a word of protest.  I told her that since we keep kosher, the idea of eating something not kosher is not even in my son's reality - any more than he would dream of eating a piece of cardboard. 

I've sometimes thought about this through the years as I struggle to make the right choices - not just food choices, but life choices as well.  I think that self control is like a muscle - the more it is exercised, the stronger it becomes, and the stronger it is, the less effort it takes.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but maybe for now, you just need to remove some items from being in the realm of possibility for yourself.  And take satisfaction from the fact that you aren't just bypassing something that truly is bad for you, but you are strengthening your spiritual side at the same time. 

I think we all understand, and it sucks. I am getting my sleeve on November 22nd, so I'm in liquid diet mode. To me this is like telling a heroin addict that before they are admitted to rehab, they have to not shoot up for 2 straight weeks with only their willpower to rely upon. Wonder how many would make it. I do fine all day, and then I come home in the evening and I want to do some serious damage.

I have been reading up on satiation and saitey and why people overeat and its been really interesting..  at the conlusion of his series the author had this to say and i thought i would share it with you because it makes alot of sense to me..

the worse a snack food is for you, the more difficult it usually is to stop eating.

• in order to keep incentive salience (“wanting") under control, make sure that hedonic impact (“liking") is always accompanied by nutrition. Eat delicious but nutritionally dense foods, containing complete protein, healthy fats, and ample nutrients. Otherwise you’re eating food with no brakes.
• And when you do take the risk, eat your cheat food after you’ve already satiated yourself with a complete meal.

Ms. Shell, thank you so much for your post. I am still pre op and appreciate the reality of OH posts like yours. It helps me to be aware of what might be in store. The psych asked me on my last visit if I lost only 25 pounds after VSG would it be okay. I had to answer no. I need to lose at least 80 - ideally a 100, but that may be pushing it. I also know that my good friend ice cream and I are going to have to reinvent our relationship! Your honesty and candor help me remember that the VSG isn't a magic bullet, but indeed a tool I need to use and make sure I use wisely.
Thanks!

 It's so true that there are certain foods that are addictive and I get so annoyed at myself for my lack of will power when constantly surrounded by these foods in my house...

For me, it's candy (chewy, sugary kinds like taffy, tootsie rolls, caramels) and chips (like sour cream & onion, or baked lay's)....

The only solution is to NOT have them in my house...I'm very good about not going out of my way to get these items, but not good at daily abstaining when they are so easily obtained and calling out to me....my problem is getting my household on board with this & not bringing them into the house.

It was so easy early post op, when I had no physical hunger and no psychological desire to eat badly...it didn't matter then, when all my fave foods were here...I knew they would hurt my tummy and I knew that I had to heal....but now that I know I can eat them without pain, it has become much harder to be strong & I've slipped up several times...

Keep up the fight! 

Hearin and feelin for ya Ms Shell!   Just need to put it in focus tho..yer a CARB addict
NOT A FOOD ADDICT!!  what you CHOOSE to put in yer tummy is plain ole SUGAR!

Same here!!   I KNOW!...I HAVE all MY answers.! I KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR ME!!...MY training, MY history, all them ingrained years of precedence and my hard headed ways... have me repeatedly going back to MY preferences! MY SAME OLD FAILS!!....BEANS GRAINS LEGUMES and NUTS........ HIGH CARBS.....  TRAIL MIX!  ugh...my MAJOR CARB FIX!  and a snail on the coffin to MY weight loss. I TRY to pass it by...many times I do...but I got a 3 pound bag of that **** sittin in my pantry right now! I eat at least a cup EVERYDAY!  

Ive told peeps here tho....I GUESS I AM EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE (in my weight loss)....cuz IF NOT....I'd be SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Are you, do you have any ACCESS to IN REAL LIFE support?  like Weigh****chers or OA?
Can that help you achieve YOUR GOALS?

When I buckled down...after my regain of 25 pounds...I lost 22 within 4.5 months!  Im back up + 9 pounds from a normal BMI again! (trail mix! lmao!!)    With the holidays coming and the winter slow down...Im upping my Vit D3 and Chromium to help with the carb cravings! 
I truly believe....them damn carbs...make ya crave MORE carbs!!  I may just DETOX before Thanksgiving...doing the 5DPT this Monday!

me n you, older and have to work it a bit harder than the next guy but one thing for sure........we ain't QUITTERS!

SO GLAD YER HANGING ON MS SHELL....We'll get this...sooner or later! 

Awww **** I think we are the same person. I feel as though I was smacked in the face by your post. Thank you for this. I gots a lot to think about.

Ms Shell, I am right there with you.  I'm an addict also, anything sugary and yeasty and OMG, I have absoutely no control.  Right now I am at my lowest weight but I know that the minute I eat a cookie, one will turn into two, and it will snowball right out of control and 25 pounds will just pile on in the blink of an eye.

We all need to know our weaknesses and sometimes abstinence is the only solution to those addictions.

Sorry hun I missed your donut moment.  Donut moments are never about donuts at all.  What sweetness are you missing in your life.  What soothes you and calms you down like fried gooey dough?

It is rare for me to mess with straight bread, pasta, rice, potatoes (even for a long time pre-op),   but I know for sure I used them as an anesthetic.  I used to lower the volume of every single feeling I was ever feeling sometimes as a primative response to protect me, and other times when I became wise enough to be a "user" to not deal with what I didn't want to deal with.  Food was my best friend and my worst enemy.

Watch the nostalgia too.  When I was a little girl OMG Shell people seemed to play into my food game, there was the hot italian bread in the morning or evening  and just the other day my niece and I walked and I said  with a  twinkle in my eye you see this place - we used to get warm bavarian/boston cream donuts from there.  I made sure to mention that donuts absolutely did not taste the way they did then.  There was a magic about those hot donuts cooling on a rack.  As I thought about it, I missed those days more than the donuts.  I missed the people who had moved on.

There are many people who don't have emotion tied to food, who don't use food - there is nothing profound for them.  I am not one of those people.  I will always have to snap myself back to each particular moment especially whnen I am feeling lost or ungrounded.

Cry  baby if you must.  Trust that feeling inside it allows you to let go and be free.  And eat a fricken donut when you've reasoned and really want it not because it is there. Free food can be blinding.  We have to be responsible and weigh the options.  Negotiate with yourself.  If you really want  a donut make a note to yourself that you will move your body a little more or you not have or skip something else.

Embrace you, love you.  We can alter our game in a way that makes us winners.

xoxo,
Leila      

Hey Shell,

I know this post is over a year old, but I had it bookmarked and just re-read it!  It was exactly what I  needed to hear.  I'm not glad that you were struggling on this day.  ;-) 

I'm 1 yr and 3 days out from the sleeve.  For the past several months I've been sampling and experimenting more and more with ye ole junkfood.  I wanted it to hurt my stomach or make me vomit...but they didn't.  Somehow this gave me permission to keep going.  Now I'm back in addiction mode. 

Thanks for you post, and the replies from others, to remind me that this is not going away.  I have to learn to live with this demon and overcome the challenges if I'm going to make it.