Why do so many look for all the excuses?
"I just couldn't resist eating ---".
"My surgeon used too big of a bougie, so I can't lose weight."
I can't live without chocolate (or whatever else)."
"I simply can't exercise."
"It's just too hard."
"I was hurt emotionally, so I ate that 5 pound box of candy and washed it down with 2 milkshakes."
Why, oh way, do so many here on these forums (and I mean on ALL of the forums here), consistently make excuses for why they got fat, and why they simply can not lose weight?
Unless someone is holding a gun to their heads, and giving them a choice to either eat or have their brains shot out, each of us is 100% responsible for what, and how much, we eat.
That's right, I used that horrible cuss word, "R E S P O N S I B L E".
We choose to eat whatever goes into our mouths. We choose to eat whatever amount of food that we eat. It is OUR choices that made us FAT, and it is OUR choices that can make us lose that excess weight.
The bougie size your surgeon used has NOTHING to do with how fast you lose weight, with VERY, VERY few exceptions (a few years back, some surgeons used a 60 bougie or even larger, so that could slow down weight loss if people ate till they are full).
It essentially comes down to accepting responsibility for the choices that I make.
In my case, I CHOSE to eat huge portions. I CHOSE not to exercise. I chose to eat junk food, lots of baked things, lots of fried things (including dough nuts, etc.). Nobody MADE me do those thing, I chose to do them.
I was a Registered Nurse, licensed in Pennsylvania (1st license), California, Idaho and Oregon. I KNEW I was fat, and getting fatter, and what the medical consequences could be for doing that. But, for almost 40 years, I CHOSE to sit on my fat ass and not do anything to help myself.
But, in 2005, I chose to change that fact. I began researching the various forms of weight loss surgeries. I researched the long term outcomes of those surgeries.
I CHOSE to have weight loss surgery to HELP IN THAT PROCESS, and I chose what kind of weight loss surgery I would have.
I joined the MOVE program at my local Veterans Administration Medical Center in San Diego, CA. I went to classes on obesity, its causes, the effects on the body, etc. I CHOSE to get into their water exercise program (it is a LOT less painful to do exercise in a heated pool, plus the water multiplies the effects, because of its resistence to movement. I went from 412 pounds to 359 pounds while in that program. I was also evaluated psychologically, went through all of the necessary medical testing, etc. to be cleared for WLS.
Then, the pain go so bad that I had to retire. In October, 2006, we sold our home and moved to the Bowling Green, Kentucky area. I transferred my care to the VA Medical Center in Nashville, TN, where I had to start the process all over again. I finally had the surgery done at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, on 15 September 2008 (my 2nd birthday, in a sense).
But, that surgery, marvelous as it is, did NOT make me lose wight. It only HELPED me to lose weight.
I still have to make the choice, each and every day, to eat the right stuff, and to only eat what I need and not what I WANT.
Stop making excuses folks. Stop looking for some way to pass off the responsibility.
YOU CHOSE WHAT TO EAT EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU PUT SOMETHING INTO YOUR MOUTH.
You choose to eat the right amount, or to eat too much.
You choose to eat healthy foods, or to eat foods that taste great but are loaded with calories.
You choose to exercise regularly, or NOT to exercise.
It comes down to a very simple proposition.
EACH OF US IS RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING FAT, FOR REMAINING FAT, AND FOR NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH WHEN WE ARE GIVEN A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO GET THAT WEIGHT OFF MUCH MORE EASILY THAT WE COULD HAVE IMAGINED 10-15 YEARS AGO.
Personally, I chose to lose my weight because I want to be around for my 50th anniversary. I wanted to be able to go camping and fishing with my grandsons. I want to be able to walk, to get on with life and to enjoy life as much as possible.
I have often said on this forum that if a 65 year old man, who hates exercise, can get their weight off, then there is absolutely NO reason why YOU can't.
What I have NOT said very often is that I have severe pain, each and every minute of my life. I have had moderate pain since 1967, when I was badly wounded in Vietnam. As I have gotten older, it seems the pain has gotten a lot worse.
I had a horrible psychological experience when my wife walked out, leaving me with 2 very young daughters to raise by myself. At the age of 26, I lost my Army career after 10 years on active duty. I lost my friends, virtually everything in my life, except for my girls.
In December, 2002, while putting up outdoor Christmas decorations, I fell 9 feet onto a concrete driveway, dislocating my right shoulder, tearing my right rotator cuff, fracturing 5 ribs, and worst of all sustaining two very severe compression fractures in my spine
I chose to eat, instead of giving in to depression. Over the course of many years, I ate myself up to 412 pounds, with severe Diabetes II, Tri-Glycerides that were off the scale, extremely high cholesterol, and an LDL/HDL level that was about as bad as it could be.
I used the excuse that it hurts to exercise, so don't cause any more pain. I continued to eat as I did when I could run 5 miles every morning before my regular calesthetics.
I have to take Hydrocodone 10/500 (which is the strongest dose possible of that medication), 6 tablets ever day. I also have Morphine Sulfate, 60mg injections, available, for when the pain gets too bad (up to 1 every 6 hours, if needed). I also take 3 800mg Motrin tablets every day, for moderately severe psoriatic arthritis. I now need a hip transplant for my left hip.
It literally makes me hurt at a 10 on a 1-10 pain scale, to walk. BUT I do walk, 3 miles at a time, 3 days a week, because I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO EXERCISE TO KEEP THAT WEIGHT FROM RETURNING.
I love to cook (American, Chinese, German, Italian, Spanish, Mexican, Vietnamese and Korean foods regularly), and I REALLY love to bake. I also LOVE to eat, and there is very, very little that I won't at least try. I have dinner parties at my home, at least once per month (and usually more).
I CHOSE to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I CHOSE to follow my dietary guidelines as well as I could. I CHOSE to walk, on a regular basis.
Yes, I cheated. I ate candy, I ate baked goods, I ate ice cream, puddings, you name it and i ate it, even during my weight loss phase. But, I never allowed my "cheating to get out of control, because I KNOW that I am responsible for what happens.
The surgery helped, and I helped a lot by keeping the quantity I could eat down. BUT, this surgery did not make me lose weight. I MADE MYSELF LOSE ALL OF THAT EXCESS WEIGHT, THE SURGERY WAS JUST A TOOL TO MAKE THAT EASIER.
The sleeve (or the RnY, the DS, the Band, etc.) will NOT make you lose weight. YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF LOSE WEIGHT.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHOICES YOU MAKE IN THIS LIFE.
I know, that's a horrible word, and a horrible concept for way too many people. I (Me), I am responsible for what happens to me? I am responsible for the choices I make in life? What a scary concept, that simply can't be right, can it?
It must be my parents who screwed me up; it must be the fact that other kids made fun of me and called me names when I was in school; it must be because my boyfriend/girlfriend rejected me; it must be because people said I was fat, so that made me become fatter, etc., etc., etc ad mauseum.
The fact that I got so fat; and that I am failing to get it off just HAS to be the fault of our society, of my parents, of anyone but ME, right? Nope, those things were all MY fault, and nobody else has any responsibility at all for what I did to myself as an adult.
So, let's hear YOUR excuses why you can't comply with your dietary and exercise program. Let's hear why it is just too hard for you to do this. Let's hear why you simply can not lose weight, how your surgeon REALLY didn't do a sleeve (or didn't do it right), or your hunger is simply uncontrollable.
You can make this work, or you can fail at it. It's in YOUR hands, and YOUR choices will determine if you succeed at getting rid of this monster, or if you fail at it.
I don't expect some people will appreciate this note. Well, too bad, it's about time that someone remind people tha tthis is THEIR problem and THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
"My surgeon used too big of a bougie, so I can't lose weight."
I can't live without chocolate (or whatever else)."
"I simply can't exercise."
"It's just too hard."
"I was hurt emotionally, so I ate that 5 pound box of candy and washed it down with 2 milkshakes."
Why, oh way, do so many here on these forums (and I mean on ALL of the forums here), consistently make excuses for why they got fat, and why they simply can not lose weight?
Unless someone is holding a gun to their heads, and giving them a choice to either eat or have their brains shot out, each of us is 100% responsible for what, and how much, we eat.
That's right, I used that horrible cuss word, "R E S P O N S I B L E".
We choose to eat whatever goes into our mouths. We choose to eat whatever amount of food that we eat. It is OUR choices that made us FAT, and it is OUR choices that can make us lose that excess weight.
The bougie size your surgeon used has NOTHING to do with how fast you lose weight, with VERY, VERY few exceptions (a few years back, some surgeons used a 60 bougie or even larger, so that could slow down weight loss if people ate till they are full).
It essentially comes down to accepting responsibility for the choices that I make.
In my case, I CHOSE to eat huge portions. I CHOSE not to exercise. I chose to eat junk food, lots of baked things, lots of fried things (including dough nuts, etc.). Nobody MADE me do those thing, I chose to do them.
I was a Registered Nurse, licensed in Pennsylvania (1st license), California, Idaho and Oregon. I KNEW I was fat, and getting fatter, and what the medical consequences could be for doing that. But, for almost 40 years, I CHOSE to sit on my fat ass and not do anything to help myself.
But, in 2005, I chose to change that fact. I began researching the various forms of weight loss surgeries. I researched the long term outcomes of those surgeries.
I CHOSE to have weight loss surgery to HELP IN THAT PROCESS, and I chose what kind of weight loss surgery I would have.
I joined the MOVE program at my local Veterans Administration Medical Center in San Diego, CA. I went to classes on obesity, its causes, the effects on the body, etc. I CHOSE to get into their water exercise program (it is a LOT less painful to do exercise in a heated pool, plus the water multiplies the effects, because of its resistence to movement. I went from 412 pounds to 359 pounds while in that program. I was also evaluated psychologically, went through all of the necessary medical testing, etc. to be cleared for WLS.
Then, the pain go so bad that I had to retire. In October, 2006, we sold our home and moved to the Bowling Green, Kentucky area. I transferred my care to the VA Medical Center in Nashville, TN, where I had to start the process all over again. I finally had the surgery done at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, on 15 September 2008 (my 2nd birthday, in a sense).
But, that surgery, marvelous as it is, did NOT make me lose wight. It only HELPED me to lose weight.
I still have to make the choice, each and every day, to eat the right stuff, and to only eat what I need and not what I WANT.
Stop making excuses folks. Stop looking for some way to pass off the responsibility.
YOU CHOSE WHAT TO EAT EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU PUT SOMETHING INTO YOUR MOUTH.
You choose to eat the right amount, or to eat too much.
You choose to eat healthy foods, or to eat foods that taste great but are loaded with calories.
You choose to exercise regularly, or NOT to exercise.
It comes down to a very simple proposition.
EACH OF US IS RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING FAT, FOR REMAINING FAT, AND FOR NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH WHEN WE ARE GIVEN A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO GET THAT WEIGHT OFF MUCH MORE EASILY THAT WE COULD HAVE IMAGINED 10-15 YEARS AGO.
Personally, I chose to lose my weight because I want to be around for my 50th anniversary. I wanted to be able to go camping and fishing with my grandsons. I want to be able to walk, to get on with life and to enjoy life as much as possible.
I have often said on this forum that if a 65 year old man, who hates exercise, can get their weight off, then there is absolutely NO reason why YOU can't.
What I have NOT said very often is that I have severe pain, each and every minute of my life. I have had moderate pain since 1967, when I was badly wounded in Vietnam. As I have gotten older, it seems the pain has gotten a lot worse.
I had a horrible psychological experience when my wife walked out, leaving me with 2 very young daughters to raise by myself. At the age of 26, I lost my Army career after 10 years on active duty. I lost my friends, virtually everything in my life, except for my girls.
In December, 2002, while putting up outdoor Christmas decorations, I fell 9 feet onto a concrete driveway, dislocating my right shoulder, tearing my right rotator cuff, fracturing 5 ribs, and worst of all sustaining two very severe compression fractures in my spine
I chose to eat, instead of giving in to depression. Over the course of many years, I ate myself up to 412 pounds, with severe Diabetes II, Tri-Glycerides that were off the scale, extremely high cholesterol, and an LDL/HDL level that was about as bad as it could be.
I used the excuse that it hurts to exercise, so don't cause any more pain. I continued to eat as I did when I could run 5 miles every morning before my regular calesthetics.
I have to take Hydrocodone 10/500 (which is the strongest dose possible of that medication), 6 tablets ever day. I also have Morphine Sulfate, 60mg injections, available, for when the pain gets too bad (up to 1 every 6 hours, if needed). I also take 3 800mg Motrin tablets every day, for moderately severe psoriatic arthritis. I now need a hip transplant for my left hip.
It literally makes me hurt at a 10 on a 1-10 pain scale, to walk. BUT I do walk, 3 miles at a time, 3 days a week, because I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO EXERCISE TO KEEP THAT WEIGHT FROM RETURNING.
I love to cook (American, Chinese, German, Italian, Spanish, Mexican, Vietnamese and Korean foods regularly), and I REALLY love to bake. I also LOVE to eat, and there is very, very little that I won't at least try. I have dinner parties at my home, at least once per month (and usually more).
I CHOSE to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I CHOSE to follow my dietary guidelines as well as I could. I CHOSE to walk, on a regular basis.
Yes, I cheated. I ate candy, I ate baked goods, I ate ice cream, puddings, you name it and i ate it, even during my weight loss phase. But, I never allowed my "cheating to get out of control, because I KNOW that I am responsible for what happens.
The surgery helped, and I helped a lot by keeping the quantity I could eat down. BUT, this surgery did not make me lose weight. I MADE MYSELF LOSE ALL OF THAT EXCESS WEIGHT, THE SURGERY WAS JUST A TOOL TO MAKE THAT EASIER.
The sleeve (or the RnY, the DS, the Band, etc.) will NOT make you lose weight. YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF LOSE WEIGHT.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHOICES YOU MAKE IN THIS LIFE.
I know, that's a horrible word, and a horrible concept for way too many people. I (Me), I am responsible for what happens to me? I am responsible for the choices I make in life? What a scary concept, that simply can't be right, can it?
It must be my parents who screwed me up; it must be the fact that other kids made fun of me and called me names when I was in school; it must be because my boyfriend/girlfriend rejected me; it must be because people said I was fat, so that made me become fatter, etc., etc., etc ad mauseum.
The fact that I got so fat; and that I am failing to get it off just HAS to be the fault of our society, of my parents, of anyone but ME, right? Nope, those things were all MY fault, and nobody else has any responsibility at all for what I did to myself as an adult.
So, let's hear YOUR excuses why you can't comply with your dietary and exercise program. Let's hear why it is just too hard for you to do this. Let's hear why you simply can not lose weight, how your surgeon REALLY didn't do a sleeve (or didn't do it right), or your hunger is simply uncontrollable.
You can make this work, or you can fail at it. It's in YOUR hands, and YOUR choices will determine if you succeed at getting rid of this monster, or if you fail at it.
I don't expect some people will appreciate this note. Well, too bad, it's about time that someone remind people tha tthis is THEIR problem and THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
A former Army Medic (1959-1969), Registered Nurse (1969-2000), College Instructor (1984-1989) and a retired Rehabilitation Counselor. I am also a dual citizen of the USA and Canada.
High Weight 412 lbs. Date of Surgery 360.5 Present 170 lbs
High Weight 412 lbs. Date of Surgery 360.5 Present 170 lbs
I agree 110%.
Ive had a couple conversations with people who take the position that obesity is a disease and thus, out of their control. I never really subscribed to that way of thinking.
I for one am personally responsible for every single pound that I packed on my body, and responsible for every single pound that comes off.
Congrats on your success :)
Ive had a couple conversations with people who take the position that obesity is a disease and thus, out of their control. I never really subscribed to that way of thinking.
I for one am personally responsible for every single pound that I packed on my body, and responsible for every single pound that comes off.
Congrats on your success :)
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
I rarely meet people who do not understand why. I meet people who have not yet mastered the how. That makes them human not irresponsible and if they are on this forum they are trying to do just that. Life is long and full of surprises and knowledge and everyone is on their own schedule. Glad you have it all worked out but then you had your particular schedule also.
I love what you said about WLS - it doesn't MAKE me lose weight, it HELPS me lose weight. So many people don't want to accept that responsibility. I think they'll be the ones who have a tough time with this process. Good post. Thank you.
5'5" Age 63 HW 212 SW 200 Currently 8 pounds below goal
Jacque 
I agree totally OldMedic!!
I remember those excuses I once told myself...and when I hear or see others use them, I think WOW, I use to be there.
When I see so many put all the value on the sleeve for weightloss, I shake my head... since it is only a tool...it is yourself that does the hard work.
Here in NS there is a very LONG wait (up to 10 years after referral) for WLS. Once you are accepted into their WLP which basically screens to see if you are ready for it, takes another 6-12 months before seeing the surgeon. It is really sad of the long wait. but in my wait I took responsibility and changed my lifestyle in waiting. I will see the surgeon the latter part of november.
Because of a hernia I do have, I did happen to see the surgeon February 25th of this year. I was 430.1lbs then. He asked me if I was committed...which kind of threw me, for I had lost 120lbs already...I said, well I think I am, so he said for me to lose 30 lbs ( I was too high of a BMI for WLS) put me into his weightloss program/ have WLS then once down to 250 I would have my hernia repair... go home and study from their site.
Well I went home, search their site and read... realized there was more I could do.. I cut my cals to 1200 and fine tuned things, worked on my behaviours and made a plan for new ones... and in march started walkin everyday. Was called to join the WLP on June 15th. I now see them nov8th to pass me for surgery. I very well will be close to 250 for my hernia repair...may be a little ahead of my surgeons plan...LOL but the way I look at it he can do both at the same time if he will. Some of my family are against me having the wls because I am doing so well...but they dont realize how hard the journey has been ..and I will take whatever tool I can get, to help get me to my goal and stay there.
I remember those excuses I once told myself...and when I hear or see others use them, I think WOW, I use to be there.
When I see so many put all the value on the sleeve for weightloss, I shake my head... since it is only a tool...it is yourself that does the hard work.
Here in NS there is a very LONG wait (up to 10 years after referral) for WLS. Once you are accepted into their WLP which basically screens to see if you are ready for it, takes another 6-12 months before seeing the surgeon. It is really sad of the long wait. but in my wait I took responsibility and changed my lifestyle in waiting. I will see the surgeon the latter part of november.
Because of a hernia I do have, I did happen to see the surgeon February 25th of this year. I was 430.1lbs then. He asked me if I was committed...which kind of threw me, for I had lost 120lbs already...I said, well I think I am, so he said for me to lose 30 lbs ( I was too high of a BMI for WLS) put me into his weightloss program/ have WLS then once down to 250 I would have my hernia repair... go home and study from their site.
Well I went home, search their site and read... realized there was more I could do.. I cut my cals to 1200 and fine tuned things, worked on my behaviours and made a plan for new ones... and in march started walkin everyday. Was called to join the WLP on June 15th. I now see them nov8th to pass me for surgery. I very well will be close to 250 for my hernia repair...may be a little ahead of my surgeons plan...LOL but the way I look at it he can do both at the same time if he will. Some of my family are against me having the wls because I am doing so well...but they dont realize how hard the journey has been ..and I will take whatever tool I can get, to help get me to my goal and stay there.
Rock on!
I was recenctly accused on another thread of being sanctimonious and 'lacking compassion' for suggesting that whole personal responsibility thing as it applies to obesity. I gained 150lbs in less than 3 years 500 extra calories a day. That's the reality. No-one did it too me. I'm the only one who can take and keep the weight off, now.
I was recenctly accused on another thread of being sanctimonious and 'lacking compassion' for suggesting that whole personal responsibility thing as it applies to obesity. I gained 150lbs in less than 3 years 500 extra calories a day. That's the reality. No-one did it too me. I'm the only one who can take and keep the weight off, now.
Carolyn (32 lbs lost Pre-op) HW: 291, SW: 259, GW: 129.5, CW: 126.4
Age: 45, Height: 5'2 1/4" , Stretch Goal: 122 
Any time I see a post by you, OM, I know it is going to be truthful and helpful ... and not packed with politically correct platitudes. Thank you for continuing to post.
I remember years ago, when I was starting ANOTHER diet, the nurse who was evaluating me asked, "So why do you think you are overweight?" I looked at her like she was crazy and said, "Uh, because I eat too much, eat the wrong kinds of food, and don't exercise." (I mean, honestly, what other reason is there??) Her mouth absolutely dropped open, and she said, "In all the years I have been doing this job, you are the first person to say that."
Now that is pitiful.
Thanks, OldMedic, and bless you!
--Dorothy
I remember years ago, when I was starting ANOTHER diet, the nurse who was evaluating me asked, "So why do you think you are overweight?" I looked at her like she was crazy and said, "Uh, because I eat too much, eat the wrong kinds of food, and don't exercise." (I mean, honestly, what other reason is there??) Her mouth absolutely dropped open, and she said, "In all the years I have been doing this job, you are the first person to say that."
Now that is pitiful.
Thanks, OldMedic, and bless you!
--Dorothy
Highest weight: 292 Pre-op weight: 265 Goal met: 150 Six years out: 185 and trying to lose again!
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