Help O

This guy sounds very needy and he comes across as a controlling individual.  If I was you I would ask your surgeon if he indeed did give him your number.  I do not know your surgeon but it sounds to me like this guy got your phone number from someone else or through some other means.  You are not responsible for his emotional welness.  Relax be happy and keep away from him.  Be honest about how you feel about him.  If he is suicidal or has similar tendencies, no one can really stop a person from committing suicide.  Do not make others feel good on the expense of making yourself feel uncomfortable. 

Good luck,

Santos

Thanks for all the support.  Yes, I agree he is very needy and I'm not the one responsible for him.  I would tell him I have a BF but....he already knows that i don't.  I will however, take your advise and break it off with him asap and I think I'll tell him that I cannot afford any kind of relationship right now.  I really do need to be greedy and concentrate on me and my post "fat" life!

Thanks again for all your support and advise!

OH you rock!

 
Just tell him you just started seeing someone and you really like him......it's someone you have known for a long time and you ran into him and have been going out with him.....

Better yet...put it back on your surgeon....tell him you gave my number to a wacko......now deal with it.....
He is supposed to provide a safe environment !!!!


The bottom line is.....don't let anybody or anything get in your way of your progress !!!!

frisco

OMG!!!  (sighs) The Great Frisco read my post!!!  Woo Hoo!  I am a great admirer of yours!  I am also going to take your advise....I'll call him today and tell him I have met someone and want to "see where this is going".  Hopefully he'll get the idea.

Funny thing is before WLS I would have made myself miserable trying to 'help' him, now I just want to 'help' myself.

I think this is the first time in my life that I am putting myself first!  What a weird feeling.  Weird but nice.

Btw, Frisco love you food porn!  I am making a 'cookbook' of all your food posts so if you need copies for you new cookbook, let me know!!  Lol

 
Hey..... I'm not so great.... just an ex fat guy that wakes up in the morning happy to be of normal weight, hoping it wasn't all a dream !!!! Than logs onto OH to see whats up and stay connected to the process.

One suggestion... I wouldn't call him...that would give him an impression that there "was" something.

Just next time he calls or you see him and he is forward..... you just tell him your seeing someone you've been re acquainted with......

I love the rest of your post.... self improvement on many levels !!!!

Looks like I'm going to be doing something with Dr. Cirangle and his nutritionist for more of an "Official Medically Approved"  portfolio/blog/website about Eating and Food after bariatric surgery. Which in turn may lead to a book. (shhhh....that's all talk at this point)

frisco

You could tell him that you talked it over with your theripist and they don't think it is a good idea for you to be dating anyone yet. You need to be 100% focused on you, and you can't do that if you are dating!

People like that I call "poison"..change your phone number. You don't need someone like that in your life.




~Lori

Oh Hell Just tell him you are gay!!! That seems to work!!

Yeah, tell him you're dating Tillmad or someone else from your group! 

First off, someone needs to explain why the DR office gave him your number?  Second, if you are having problems at the support group because of his advances and actions, you need to speak with the organizer of the group and ask them to either ban him or talk to him and make it clear if he isn't following the program for his health and post surgery help then he needs to find a different meeting to attend because it isn't meant to be a dating pick up time.  They could even announce this to the entire group and not pick him out as an individual.  Third, as much as you don't want to  hurt his feelings, that is an excuse you are using to keep from making yourself feel bad.  You have to take control of this, just like your health and stand up for yourself and make it clear you are not attending these activities for anyone but yourself.  Talk to your therapist and see what advice they may give you also.  Just don't let this keep you from continuning your own personal care and utilizing the support that IS there for you to keep doing well.  Take care, will keep you in my prayers.  You've done amazing!!