Was your surgery a secret?

I only told a few people before my surgery.  My sister, boss, a couple of friends and a couple of girls at work.  I'm an optimistic skeptic and a believer in jinx so I was scared that if I told everyone that I would be a total failure.  So I didn't want too many people to know in case it didn't work for me.

After the surgery when people started to notice and say something I found myself to be very open about it and have been honest with pretty much anyone who asks whether it's someone I know or a complete stranger.  No one I've told has said anything negative, they all have thought it's great.  I've never been accused of taking the easy way out.

I think it's kind of how you are with other things in your life as well.  If you're the type who tells people a lot of details of your life, or if you keep things to yourself.  I'm more open about things, so I think I'm more naturally open about this.

That being said, I'm going to my high school reunion in two months.  I don't plan on telling ANYONE there!!  Of course I didn't see all but a couple of them for years and they have no idea that I got as big as I did.  And I'm not going to fill them in on that detail of my life!!

I have kept it a secret.  My husband, mother, and oldest son know.  I didn't plan on telling my son, but  I used it for sympathy to get some help at home after I got out of the hospital.  My closest friends in the world don't know and I don't plan on ever telling.  I, personally, don't want to be judged or have to talk about it constantly. 

I told almost everyone ahead of time, but waited until it was done to tell my Mom so she wouldn't worry herself to death. If people I only see casually mention the weight loss, I say thanks, I had WLS. If they have any further questions i'm glad to answer; most are interested or know someone whoo would like to have it, and very few know about VSG as an option. I haven't had anyone make rude remarks, but if I do, I would have no problem at all telling them I could not care less what they think. I do try to make sure not to go on and on and on about my surgery though.

I only told a hand full of people. I did not event tell my own mother because she can be so negative. People are so judgemental so I did not want anyone judging me or my decisions. Some people think that surgery is a easy way out but it is not. We know this for ourselves but someone who has not gone through this would know. They think you just have a surgery and then you lose weight. I don't know about you but I have had a few stalls in my weightloss that caused me to push myself a little harder in the gym. I have to work at weight loss. The surgery is a great tool to help us but we still have to make good food decisions, know our limits, and push to be active. If not, we will gain the weight right back. Good luck with your decision but I don't think that everyone needs to know all of your personal business.

I told my mother - she was great and completely supportive.
I told my father - he is a Primary Care Physician and had WLS (RNY) 5 years ago.

That was it - no one from work or any friends. My brother kind of guessed and so did my sister, my sister is into OA and lives WW like some kind of cult, so she was against it. But I'm happy with my decision. After all - it's my business and my choice.

Jason

Not sleeved yet, but my 'telling' will be a moderate mix...

No big announcement, but neither will I keep it secret.  I'd rather be known for having WLS than be known as a liar if I fudge the truth.  And if ANYONE in your life knows, there's a chance the truth will come out...

People in my life now, of course they'll see when I lose weight.  People I meet in the future, I'd just as soon the fact that I was 'once fat' never becomes an issue to begin with.  Unless my story/history will help them in some way.

Personally, I am freely telling people if it comes up in natural conversation.  For example, my fellow RN's at work know I am planning for some time off because of it.  My family and friends that I speak with regularly know because going through the process and getting approved has been a big part of my life the last two months.  For me, keeping it quiet would be acting like it is something shameful, and creating a false pretense for my resulting weight loss.  If people want to make judgments about it, that is their personal issue.  They've probably already judged me many times for my excess weight anyway.

Here's the thing about keeping it secret.  As I have had my weight loss struggles over the last 10 years, I have had several people used as examples as people who "did it on their own."  You know, because those people lost 100+ lbs without surgery, I should be able to as well.  And that created alot of doubt for me.  I thought that if they could do it, why couldn't I?

But guess what I found out about BOTH OF THEM?  They each actually had RNY and kept it quiet. 

It is my opinion that in the end, keeping it secret creates an unrealistic expectation of weight loss for other mordibly obese people and creates MORE stigma about WLS.

 Complete secret and it always will be. My hubby knows. My parents just in case I didnt make it through surgery. No one else ever. That includes my siblings, they dont know.

I have no regrets.