Was your surgery a secret?

Ok so just for a little background....

After I had my first daughter I weighed 440 pounds. I went on weigh****chers and lost down to 275, I then was trying everything and basically hit a 2 year plateau, I then gained about 50 pounds and was 320 when I got pregnant last year with my second daughter.

I decided it was time to do something and eventhough I always felt I never needed sugery because I could do this on my own I opted for the sleeve because I want to be here for my girls and be able to run and play with them.

Sooo... I admit I have been a little embarrased to tell people because I think they will think I took the easy way out and that I couldn't do it on my own. The only ppl I told presurgery was my hubby and 2 bff.

I want to open up to more people about it epecially my mom (who i didn't tell cuz we are not that close and she has the biggest mouth ever), and ppl at work. I feel more confident now that the surgery is over and everything went so good!

Has anyone else kept their surgery on the down low, or was everyone very open to it????

People who think this is the easy way out, are uneducated about it.
I told a few people and made hints here and there, but honestly, I don't want the negativity or judgement. I also don't want to deal with the jealousy. I told one of my friends, and she was like oh, you'll be thinner than me soon...I've been thinner than her before, so this was kind of an insult to me, and it was really annoying that that was the first thing she said to me about it.
That being said, sooner or later its going to become a little more noticeable, but you should only tell the people that you are comfortable with telling. Congrats on your surgery! =)

I told everyone about the VSG. There are good and bad points about telling everyone but I decided to take the good with the bad. Several people have asked me sincere questions about my surgery and three have gone on to have the VSG.

There were people who said I would gain it all back and their comments served to motivate me. Tomorrow will be my 2 year surgery anniversary and I'm still at 170 pounds.

Telling or not telling is a personal decision. You need to do what's best for you.

Continued success,
George

When I started I wasn't telling anyone besides my mother. When it got closer to my surgery date I told some of my other family and right be for surgery I told some more of my close family. I have to say I was lucky that the people I told were unbelievably supportive and resectful to the fact that I made the decision on who I told and when. At work was a whole other story lol to this day there is only one coworker who knows I just can't bring myself to talk about it . I'm guessing eventually I'll be comfortable and well talk then.

I think the important thing for me is when it felt right I told people I trusted. I trusted my instincts and I don't feel guilty about not telling the people I didn't want to.

I only told a handful of people.  Hubby and my parents.  A woman I work with had it about a year and a half ago.  I've been watching her and talking to her.  I told another woman at work who I know had the surgery.  Most people think I had my gallbladder out - which I did.  Now that the surgery is over and I'm losing, I may tell more people.  I've been off all summer from work so people will notice and I don't care. 

My biggest thing is that I didn't want to hear from people that it was the easy way out or have I tried this or tried that.  Did I consider this?  No, I just call the surgeon and schedule a major surgery without educating myself and considering this carefully.  My PCP didn't bat an eye at recommending me and my surgeon approved me and that is what is important. 

I asked hubby to keep it quiet with his family since they are so judgemental.  He says I didn't tell him to keep it quiet until after he told.  His mom was here right before I began prep.  I just told hubby that I didn't want to hear anything from her while she was here.  It was open for discussion or talking about. 

My biggest guilt comes from missing work at the start of the school year.  I couldn't do it earlier in the summer due to another health issue so I will miss a week or two - at a brand new school, with a brand new principal, teaching brand new things.  I hate that the teachers will talk about me behind my back.  In the end, I'm sure I won't care.  I am healthier already and I am already off some chronic and expensive medications.  That is why I did it!

Here's my usual reply to telling vs not telling:

It is a totally personal decision to tell or not to..It is your call, and everyone is different in that regard. There is no right or wrong answer to this question.. only your own comfort level, and the maturity level of those close to you should determine how you proceed.

In the end, I told all my friends beforehand. I was originally thinking I wouldn't until they asked.. then I thought about the cir****tances under which I may be asked.. at a house party?? Not the best time to break somewhat heavy news! So I decided to visit each set of friends separately so I could talk with them one on one. Much to my surprise, all were very supportive and several thanked me for being upfront and not keeping it a secret! It meant something that I trusted them with this information.. that not only made their reactions more positive, but gave me a strong sense of support. I do not work currently, so only friends got this news. I was afraid of negative reactions from a few.. and got none! Guess that show me not to assume the worst!  

I did not tell family until after as my sisters live a long days drive away, so I only see them once a year or so.. I did tell them afterwards and they are also supportive and proud of me for taking charge of my health. Future co-workers, well unless someone may benefit from the info and brings up the subject of weight loss with me, I tend to keep my personal business home. 

It's still a secret.

I've found too much of a social stigma associated with weight loss surgery.

No regrets.

I've found too much of a social stigma associated with weight loss surgery.

I am not picking on you, I swear, but this sentence got me giggling....

Is being the biggest fat pig less of a social stigma than surgery??? Just askin! Seriously don't flame me for this, I just found it ironic and funny.

Not like I haven't been there!  ;-)

I told as few people as I felt I had to tell.  For the most part I tried to keep it a secret (even though some of my family members did not respect my wish to keep this personal issue private).  Everyone that I have talked to about it have been understanding and happy for me though. 

I told my immediate family only and asked them to keep it confidential. I feel like it is my journey and I do not owe anyone an explanation. I like that I was able to make a personal, private decision that improves my health everyday. The only time I feel a little guilty is when people that I know and love comment on how much will power I have when it comes to eating small amounts of food!

It is your personal decision and you boundry to make!

Best wishes...best decision I ever made!
Jenni