I cant STAND my Husband

My husband and I used to work out together. Now I work out on my own and I prefer it. When I go, that's MY time, and I don't want to have to think about anyone else. Also, when I stopped going in the past, he would say things like, "It's so much easier when you go with me." I felt like he was trying to make me feel guilty for him not going to the gym. NO WAY! Now we both do our own thing at different gyms and it works out much better. There is definitely such a thing as too much togetherness!

Thank you *SO* much everyone for the words of wisdom and encouragement. I definitely needed it and love you all so much for being there and sharing experiences. After "cooling off" and praying about this whole thing I came to the realization that this needs to be about me, and I need to stop resenting him for being who he has always been. Even when I worked out all the time a few years ago, I, like many of you, enjoyed doing it by myself more than with others. I think that because I broke the habit and I have had a hard time re-starting it, I was looking for someone to help me get back into it, and relied on my husband to do something I should do for myself. I did read your messages, I woke up at 6am, took my dog for a 3 mile walk, did the stairmaster at home and P90x martial arts for 30 minutes. Phew! I just need to keep it up and make this a pattern. I love him and he does "earn his keep" haha.. I was just really frustrated last night.

Thank you AGAIN so much everyone!

Maybe its time for you to be more independent. I may have misunderstood you, but didn't  you stop running and taking care of your fitness because he wouldn't go with you? See the time at the gym as your "me" time- your meditation time. If the only way he can show support is for him to do what you want him to do, then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  I don't know anyone who likes working out with their husband. They can be really annoying. I know you want what you want- we all do, but you need to ask yourself why.

I know people whose husbands try to keep them in the house and object to them going to the gym. Is he doing that? What are other ways that he is showing support or can show support for the surgery? Drawing a line in the sand in front of the gym may not get you the results that you want.

Maybe speaking to a therapist will help.

There are a number of things going on here that I'd like to comment on:

- One, you have to take care of YOU. You can't depend on others to take care of you because nobody cares about your health like YOU will. Your health is YOUR responsibility.. it's hard but you just can't count on others to push you.. you have to find the will inside to do this on your own, or find others who are in a similar boat. He is just not going to understand. It's hard enough to motivate yourself, let alone have someone dragging you down. This is why I work out ALONE.

- Your hubby sounds unsupportive, but maybe it's just ignorance. Tell him clearly that you want his support, and what that means to you, and what type of support you would like. If he is not willing to find SOME WAY (even if it's not the way you WANT) to support you or find some way to be your partner in life, then get into counseling pronto.

- Not everyone likes the gym.. ask him if he'd be willing to do other types of exercises with you.. maybe go for a walk or play a sport.. or maybe some sexercise?

- There are lots of draw backs to working out with others.. having to schedule the time that works for you both, different goals and abilities, getting out of breath and making it hard to talk.

- If after all I said you STILL really want someone to go with you, check out this website:
http://www.exercisefriends.com
This is a site where you can find exercise matches. You search by zip code or people who go to the same gym or by activities or a combination of those variables. Love that site!