I cant STAND my Husband
Maybe I am overreacting and over emotional because it's "that time" of the month, but I am PISSED and really hurt by my stupid insensitive Husband.
He had agreed to finally go to the gym with me. We went to check out a gym today because 24 hour wants to charge me an arm and a leg to add him.
After the tour, the info etc, we came home, just for him to go on this loooong rant about how he is just going to be honest and tell me that he hates gyms, that it's like "going to church" - another thing that he promised he would do with me then backed out of. He says that he has never needed a gym, he keeps thinking about what a "waste of time" it will be taking up time that he could do doing something else. I am in tears and just at the end of the line here. It's one thing after another and he is supposed to be being supportive, but is a total di**. He also thinks I should just be able to "knock off the weight" no problemo, probably because he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him and will never understand.
I wonder if he ever wonders if his nasty attitude has anything to do with my massive weight gain and inability to be able to get the energy and motivation to work out. When he met me I was a size 4/6, went to the gym everyday, competed in runs etc. He knew that was all very important to me, and went along with it the first few months, then as soon as he "hooked" me he stopped all of it. Going on runs with me etc. I feel like he is so burdened to have to do anything for me, which he never does anyway.
I know that I ultimately am responsible for allowing myself to put on 150 pounds +, but come on! I seriously am considering leaving his dumb As* (can you tell I'm a little upset here??). If I am this miserable now and feel such a lack of support how the heck is it going to be after surgery and then through weight loss and maintenance?
I feel like my friends and these board are the only place that I get any emotional support and that feels really ****ty.
Sorry and thanks in advance for any feedback and reading this.
Diana
He had agreed to finally go to the gym with me. We went to check out a gym today because 24 hour wants to charge me an arm and a leg to add him.
After the tour, the info etc, we came home, just for him to go on this loooong rant about how he is just going to be honest and tell me that he hates gyms, that it's like "going to church" - another thing that he promised he would do with me then backed out of. He says that he has never needed a gym, he keeps thinking about what a "waste of time" it will be taking up time that he could do doing something else. I am in tears and just at the end of the line here. It's one thing after another and he is supposed to be being supportive, but is a total di**. He also thinks I should just be able to "knock off the weight" no problemo, probably because he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him and will never understand.
I wonder if he ever wonders if his nasty attitude has anything to do with my massive weight gain and inability to be able to get the energy and motivation to work out. When he met me I was a size 4/6, went to the gym everyday, competed in runs etc. He knew that was all very important to me, and went along with it the first few months, then as soon as he "hooked" me he stopped all of it. Going on runs with me etc. I feel like he is so burdened to have to do anything for me, which he never does anyway.
I know that I ultimately am responsible for allowing myself to put on 150 pounds +, but come on! I seriously am considering leaving his dumb As* (can you tell I'm a little upset here??). If I am this miserable now and feel such a lack of support how the heck is it going to be after surgery and then through weight loss and maintenance?
I feel like my friends and these board are the only place that I get any emotional support and that feels really ****ty.
Sorry and thanks in advance for any feedback and reading this.
Diana
Hi I'm Diana! I'm 5'10 and hoping to get down to 165 :) Feel free to friend me!
awww *hugs* I know it is a bad time for you but remember we are all friends here. I wish I had something profound to say to you but all I can think of is that maybe he is afraid that you WILL leave him after all the weight loss? Or perhaps he thinks you will not go through with the WLS? Or perhaps he is on his time of the month too? LOL Try to stay motivated, eat healthy and remember this quote "Try to be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says 'Damn, she's up!'" I'm here for you girlfriend! and welcome to the losers bench!
Roselynd 
Thank you so much roselynd. It really means a lot that you took time to reach out to me. I am really a strong willed person to the effect that sometimes I can act like nothing bothers me and I can "do it all", but the truth is that I am just human, and I do get sensitive and just feel crushed today. It was just like the topper on the cake for me with things lately. Thanks again for the kind words and support.
Diana
Diana
Hi I'm Diana! I'm 5'10 and hoping to get down to 165 :) Feel free to friend me!
Hi I was just reading your story and I really don't know what to say but I'm sorry it must be so hard, he is supposed to be the #1 person to support you and you need him the most right now and its not right at all on his part!!! the good thing is that you have your friends and us ....I'ts better than nothing 
Don't worry he will come around men are very slow at understanding what we need 
...I'ts better than nothing Don't worry he will come around men are very slow at understanding what we need 
Thank you Primyzia. It helps to have this support. I don't think I would make it through this whole process nearly as well as I will having this support unit here. I know it will be okay and that it's not that big of a deal. I need to do this for me regardless of his opinions or support. Thanks again, I really appreciate the encouragement!
Diana
Diana
Hi I'm Diana! I'm 5'10 and hoping to get down to 165 :) Feel free to friend me!
Eh, people that never struggled with weight sometimes just don't have a clue! :)
Go to the gym by yourself, turn off your phone, load some great tunes on your MP3 player, take your fav shampoo & bodywash and call it "your time." You're going to do this whole deal regardless, and he will either come around and be a support (but he may never join a gym if he doesn't want to, or go to church for that matter) or he will continue to be a thorn in your side.. either way, don't let his lack of participation in anything YOU want to do, keep you from doing those things!!
Go to the gym by yourself, turn off your phone, load some great tunes on your MP3 player, take your fav shampoo & bodywash and call it "your time." You're going to do this whole deal regardless, and he will either come around and be a support (but he may never join a gym if he doesn't want to, or go to church for that matter) or he will continue to be a thorn in your side.. either way, don't let his lack of participation in anything YOU want to do, keep you from doing those things!!
This is probably not going to be helpful, but I can't stand for my DH to work out with me. When we met I liked to run. Well, he is 6'4" and when we went running together I would be going all out and he would be basically walking fast. When we went to the gym together I always wound up hurting myself trying to keep up with him. So, no I don't want/need him for my workout partner. Maybe you could find a workout buddy at the gym or in your neighborhood if you need someone to go with. I love the time I spend alone jogging or working out but I realize everyone is not that way. I hope you feel better and DH comes around. But just do it anyway with or without him.
Support is wonderful if you have it, but in reality the journey we've chosen to take is one we all take alone. Honestly, I prefer to work out alone for many reasons, one reason is if I want to leave early or stay longer, I'm not inconveniencing anyone. This is your fight girl and no one can help you with this but you.
My husband wouldn't last 5 minutes at the gym, and I wouldn't put him through something he's not comfortable with, besides he'd make the experience a very unpleasant one, and we'd end up arguing. He's thin as well and prefers other forms of exercise. It's fine with me b/c there are other things we both like to do.
Do what makes you happy and resist negativity. If you have to go to the gym yourself, do it, you'll probably meet some new people there and have fun at the same time. We have a common reason for being here and the support you get here can't be beat! Best wishes and continued success!
My husband wouldn't last 5 minutes at the gym, and I wouldn't put him through something he's not comfortable with, besides he'd make the experience a very unpleasant one, and we'd end up arguing. He's thin as well and prefers other forms of exercise. It's fine with me b/c there are other things we both like to do.
Do what makes you happy and resist negativity. If you have to go to the gym yourself, do it, you'll probably meet some new people there and have fun at the same time. We have a common reason for being here and the support you get here can't be beat! Best wishes and continued success!
Visit My Blog! http://thefatgirlhasleftthebuilding.blogspot.com
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry that you're hurting, but I'm going to disagree a little with you.
I know you're mad at him for what seems like broken promises. Those can definitely make us feel as though we aren't being supported, and if he has been doing a lot of that, I'd be angry, hurt and resentful too.
Having said that I think you know this isn't about the gym. He obviously doesn't want to go and dragging him there if you know he isn't into it isn't right either. He might feel resentful too - as though doing something he hates the idea of is the only way you can accept that he supports you. Maybe he wanted to be supportive and reluctantly agreed, thinking it wouldn't be so bad, but then after the tour realized he made a mistake.
He shouldn't have promised you. He should have been honest. If this is about the gym, let him off the hook. Jo is right. Go by yourself, rock your workout with some great tunes and have fun. It sounds like this goes much deeper, possibly and if that's the case, his going to the gym won't solve what's wrong.
This is your time to work on you. Concentrate on that, and how to begin tackling the problems with him will begin to become clearer. Use your workout to think. Physical activity can work wonders for your stress.
Be well and good luck. Let us know how its going (((((((HUGS)))))))).
I know you're mad at him for what seems like broken promises. Those can definitely make us feel as though we aren't being supported, and if he has been doing a lot of that, I'd be angry, hurt and resentful too.
Having said that I think you know this isn't about the gym. He obviously doesn't want to go and dragging him there if you know he isn't into it isn't right either. He might feel resentful too - as though doing something he hates the idea of is the only way you can accept that he supports you. Maybe he wanted to be supportive and reluctantly agreed, thinking it wouldn't be so bad, but then after the tour realized he made a mistake.
He shouldn't have promised you. He should have been honest. If this is about the gym, let him off the hook. Jo is right. Go by yourself, rock your workout with some great tunes and have fun. It sounds like this goes much deeper, possibly and if that's the case, his going to the gym won't solve what's wrong.
This is your time to work on you. Concentrate on that, and how to begin tackling the problems with him will begin to become clearer. Use your workout to think. Physical activity can work wonders for your stress.
Be well and good luck. Let us know how its going (((((((HUGS)))))))).
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