I have a fat head husband...HELP!

Gender impairment.  Its what's for dinner.

Try to sit down and calmly discuss this instead of having it degenerate into a fight.  He might dig his heels in less if he perceives it as helping you rather than having something taken away from him.

Then again, I just caught my husband trying to take some red bell pepper my daughter didn't finish off the top of the garbage to wash off and put back in the refrigerator.  I went ballistic, and will go to sleep tonight  planning his unfortunate sleep apnea *accident.*

*Sigh*

What we do at my house is say that anyone can eat anything they want OUT of the house. If they want to eat certain foods that are triggers for others of us, they have to keep them in their space, not the public spaces.

So Mr. Mac and MacBoy like chips but they trigger Mini-Mac. So they keep their chips in their rooms. (Well, office for Mr. Mac.) I don't buy them when I grocery shop either. If they want them, they have to go out and get them.

Chips don't trigger me but I don't like them either so I don't care if they are in the house or not. I certain don't miss them.

Chocolate triggers me though. So any chocolate has to be out of sight. At least, since my VSG, I don't obsess over it just knowing it's in the house like I used to. It only has to be put away.

But once Mr. Mac brought home something that I just couldn't stop eating so I made him take it to his office. He was okay with that.

I suspect your husband is afraid of change so he's fighting you on everything. if you sit him down and work it out with him so that his life doesn't have to change much at all, he'll probably calm down and be more cooperative.

And don't be surprised if it turns out that that the real issues is something completely different. Like maybe he's afraid you'll leave him when you get skinny or something like that.

Sometimes I think my dh likes me overweight and tries to sabatoge me.  Like he is afraid of me getting skinny. 

This time he is being very supportive.  I am lucky b/c my whole family is being supportive and so are my friends and co-workers.  I will have support all around and believe me if they see me trying to eat something bad they will jump my @SS!!!!  They all want to see me healthy!

Also, people dont realize how little we are able to control our eating habits.  Just b/c he can have that food around doesn't mean you can.  (or me)  My dh agreed to no junk food around our house before I scheduled the surgery.  I could not have the surgery if he was going to keep putting that stuff in front of my face.

I hope you can get through to him so he can be a support to you.

 You can't expect him to change his eating habits until he is ready.  Get a box with a padlock for all the junk you want to throw away and make sure only he knows the combination.

 everyone has a point, but bottom line is he will change when he's ready to. 

  In the mean time, Get a plastic box with lid, put all his "snacks" and so forth in it and have him keep it in his car. This way he can not only keep it but can get to when at work, commuting, etc. If you present it as this way he has his own PRIVATE stash that only he can get to and can have it even when he's out he may be more receptive to the idea. Then in time when he sees that not having in the house makes you less stressed and more at ease he will start to come around. 

After reading this story and others about relatives "stealing" or quaffing their diet food, I am very happy to be single and to live alone.
My sister does weigh****chers (off and on), and when she is "on" all she buy's for her house is diet food...Her husband (now ex) could either eat the WW food or go out to eat.
Junk food is a bigger issue I would imagine.

One thing though...
Look at it from HIS point of view...He now has to go cold turkey with you, which is not his choice or his fault. I guess the solution depends more on the home dynamic - both of you may need to reach a compromise.
He obviously will not be eating like you as he will have no sleeve, but he can't just starve! And I'm sure you would not want him pigging out on all YOUR diet food...So he is now in the "hot seat" and unwanted position of making a drastic change in his eating habits (again not his choice) to accomidate your new lifestyle because as you say..."I have no willpower".

It's definitely an issue that needs to be resolved and I can totally see both his and your side...Best of luck to you! But again, try to see things from both perspectives.

Good luck,
J

I do see what you are saying and I know its going to be a change for everyone, but at the same time, he is a diabetic, and has high blood pressure and also had a stroke this past September...so, in reality, He doesn't need it either...lol and i fight with him because he says he can eat one or two pieces of candy and be done with it..and then its usually me who finishes the whole bag...and since all he does is take his medicine and doesnt really watch his diet, then i think it is best to get rid of all of it.. I have also just asked him to help me most importantly during the pre op diet (Which I havent started yet) because it will be so hard for me if he starts making meals or whatever.. I asked him to go out and eat or go to my parents house... This weekend I am going to try and discuss this again with him..and i am also going to make sure he comes with me to the pre admission and pre op meeting so he can learn about my new way of life...I am not asking him to completely give up food and i most certainly don't expect him to starve but if this is going to make me happy then why cant he just agree to clean out the junk food... just saying...lol

I am going to listen to the advice of making him realize this is about his health too.. He is older than me...alot older, and we have a 14 month old.  I may just have to pull out the guilt card and tell him this is for his daughter so that one day she has both of us to be at her wedding, and her daddy to walk her down the aisle.

 Dont buy it period!  If he wants it he will have to get it and tell him to keep it in the trunk of his car for now.  If he loves you he will support you and he should be happy that you are trying to get healthy.

I'm sorry for this opposite answer!

But, It is our choice to have surgery and it isn't our familes that  they should be punished/deprived...Whatever you want to call it. If they want to keep eating the badass junk food it's their choice. But, it is our choice to have surgery and we have to have the won't power to do so. I don't call it will power, because WILL means, I will eat it!  I call it WON'T power! I WON't eat it. Good luck on your new journey!

I know we all need supposrt and I am sure he will support you, but, we all have to be fair.

Hugs

Donna

 I agree with Donna!  I went to a support group meeting tonight and we were talking about this same thing.  Just because I struggle with my weight doesn't mean my issues have to be everyone else's issues.  I finally got my husband to agree that if he was going to bring junk home he had to hide it.  I also don't buy my trigger foods, well, at least most of the times.  But I also don't deprive my children a few of their favorite snack foods.  The goldfish in the pantry don't call my name so it's ok if they are there.  I don't drink soda so I don't buy it.  I don't want the donuts in the house, so I don't buy them.  If my husband wants them then he can go out and get them but he needs to hide them.  He has agreed to do this for me.  It's one small step but I can't expect him to turn his whole life upside down just to support me.  He does support me but it''s my struggle, not his.  He has loved me at my thinnest and at my heaviest and through it all he has been very supportive and loving but again, I am doing this for ME!  Not for him, but for me.  

Have a heart to heart and tell your husband that if he wants it, he needs to buy it and then hide it.  

Good luck to you.