I have a fat head husband...HELP!

MELMEL308
on 4/19/11 8:59 am - PA
Everytime the topic comes up about clearing out all of the JUNK, he fights with me!!! 
"I can buy candy or chips, and eat a few and then wait for another week or so to have more!" He says... Well I CAN'T... I am not makign him an excuse because I can be bad too with buying junk but dammit i tell him I don't have willpower to just nibble here and there and i beg him to lets throw it out because i cant stop at just one or two bites...I always have to eat it until its all gone..  I am just under 4 weeks away with my surgery and 13 days away from liquid diet and my kitchen still is filled with a junk cabinet.. and he buys processed food like crazy which i stay away from majority anyway because of the sodium but i am so worried he wont be supportive when i need him to be...
                            ~Melanie~
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly"                                       
shrinkydink1
on 4/19/11 9:03 am
Sit him down and have the heart to heart! Let him know that you need his support 110% and that he can continue to have his "snacks" just not at home for awhile. He will surely understand and want to help you be successful!!
~K~            
MELMEL308
on 4/19/11 9:10 am - PA
I am thinking about putting them in a big tub with a tight lid.. He is the type that does not like to throw anything out!  He has gotten better but he still is bad.. When I first met him, even if something was expired, he would tell me that it is the manufacturers way of making you buy more...lol Of course it wasn't like milk or anything but canned goods and what not.. He tells me he will be supportive but than gets mad at me when i start throwing stuff out.. I tell him its for his good too... He is a diabetic and doesn't need to be eating half of the crap anyway...
                            ~Melanie~
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly"                                       
LYNNFERREIRA
on 4/19/11 9:09 am - BERKELEY, CA
I HEAR THAT ! I HAD A SIMILAR ISSUE LAST NIGHT AND MY HUSBAND SAID" SO HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE LIKE A WEEK OR SO RIGHT?" WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS BE STRONG AND DRAW THE LINE! I TOLD HIM TO DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE JUST NOT IN FRONT OF ME! MY SURGERY IS DAY AFTER TOMOROW LETS SEE IF HE LISTENS...
MELMEL308
on 4/19/11 9:22 am - PA
yeah...I told him that he needs to not cook in the house during my pre op diet because it will kill me... My parents don't live that far from me, so i may just send him around there for meals.. my father is the cook in the family
                            ~Melanie~
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly"                                       
Linda B.
on 4/19/11 9:24 am - CA
sorry...but this makes me glad I am single going through this. I only have to worry about me.
LB
Awesome workout: www.ujamfitness.com 
  
HW=249#  SW= 236#  CW 179#  TOTAL=71 lost BMI= 30.6
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MELMEL308
on 4/19/11 9:54 am - PA
And you are so right.. Our relationship is very complicated (like really what the heck does that mean when people say complicated..LOL) and we have been going through some things, but in this past month or so, I said that i was going to focus on me and this surgery and try not to worry about EVERYTHING else....I should just tell him to back off and toss it all in a trash bag and drive it to a dump!...LOL
                            ~Melanie~
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly"                                       
(deactivated member)
on 4/19/11 9:53 am
So put all the food in a box and donate it to the food bank or some other charity, give it to a neighbor or something.  I continued to cook for my family while on my pre op but not everyone is able to cook and not eat so you have to do what you think is best for your situation.  I didn't want to make my family  think everything was going to change for them because of my surgery.   But my husband is 67 years old and we have been thru a lot of medical issues in the past few years together so we kind of have a system when either one of us is down.  You have to do what will work for you and make you successful at this life changing event.  Good luck and get the junk out! LOL!
jluvsme
on 4/19/11 9:59 am - HI
It's amazing how some people define "supportive" thinking that they are all the while their own food issues are throwing land mines in your path.  I am no expert but here are a few thoughts. 

I sat my husband down and made him read the over 200 page binder I was given pre surgery.  I took him to meet the dietician and had him come to some of those classes so he understood and heard from an expert (and not me).  Men like job descriptions so I told him he would be the very best provider for me if he: kept the junk out of the house and tried to eat healthier along with me, put a tub in the car trunk for his snacks that I wouldn't look at or be triggered by, agreed not to buy goodies for the kids unless we were on the road and they were eating it in the back seat out of my view. 

I also took him to the presurgery appt and asked questions like "how soon can I do housework" or "how soon can I exercise and how much can I lift right after surgery" and asked the surgeon what he thought were some of the best things my husband should know to  help me. 

Ok, so he naturally responded well when he heard outside authorities that these new "rules" for eating were scientific and based on expert guidance.  And he definitely wanted to look good for the surgeon when he heard what he could do to support me.  I boasted to my surgen post op how he helped me get up to walk and he got more man praise for that and it helped.  Sneaky...maybe but it's just human nature.

Last thing is my hubby (*****ally wants to be suportive but just needs the information) was diagnosed pre-diabetic and I went with him to his dietician's appointment and we agreed on a plan to support each other. 

Anyway, just some ideas for him.

Now the other thing and it's a tough fact of life is that you are in control of what you choose to put in your mouth. 

I made one shelf in the pantry and one shelf in the fridge MINE and no one could touch those foods. I have greek yogurt, fat free soups, my low fat delimeat and special butter subsitute, etc.  It's at eye level  & I don't even look at any other shelf.  I tell myself that I want to eat with no regrets and remind myself of my goal and that I have been given the tool to accompli**** All that crap just makes you hungrier where the healthy protein, fruits and veggies make you satisfied and ramp up your metabolism. 

My doctor makes us do a 3 day liquid fast 2 months before surgery so we can prove to ourselves we can do it and find what works for us.  I did it one day and got a cold so I postponed the other 2 days til I was better.  Then on the night of the final day I decided I could add another day because I was in control and the hunger (head hunger) reduces the longer you resist it.  It was like a switch going off saying "You are in charge of your body".  Now when I am hungry I ask, is this my head being hungry or do I need nutrition or water?  I am still learning to separate head hunger from true nutritional needs but it's coming.  Remember if you get the sleeve you will lose almost all of your hunger with the surgery so it's easier. 

Be good to yourself, sip your water and make sure you have the healthy food and ignore the rest as best you can!
MELMEL308
on 4/20/11 3:08 am - PA
Thank you so much... This was a very helpful comment.. along with the other comments but I really apreciated your experience and guidance.. and you are so right.. I AM IN CONTROL!  I love the idea of picking one shelf in the fridge for just my stuff... very smart..
                            ~Melanie~
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly"                                       
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