Back handed compliments, oh my...

SassyItalian
on 4/3/11 12:21 pm - Basseterre, St. Kitts and Nevis

So many people dont understand the dynamics of obesity and weightloss surgery. People post everyday about the stupid things people say about these things...

I saw my dad's family for the first time in a few months this evening..Everyone commented on my weight loss..the comment that took the cake went something like this:

'Wow, you are starting to look like the picture on the wall again (as she points to a photo from 2001 ( I was 17, 155lbs, and anorexic-ish)...' I guess it was supposed to be a compliment but it was a little embarassing for me. I felt like saying, yea I'm starting to look more normal and acceptable and less like the blob that was slothing my way around, unrecognizable from my old self...

Arg..I know it shouldnt bother me but these post-surgery hormones make me sensative..

thanks for listening.
Sassy

           
                       HW: 258lbs  SW: 240   CW: 140  I am 5 foot 7 and 30 years old               
                 VSG 12/21/10  Plastics: Tummy tuck, breast lift, and augmentation 11/3/11
                                             Soon to be veterinarian!! xoxo
                                                     

mirandainmn
on 4/3/11 12:24 pm - MN
I'm still a pre op so don't have any words of wisdom on this, just wanted to say love the new pic, very sexy!
NewDawn50
on 4/3/11 12:32 pm
I  know, Sassy.   A few people have made comments that I knew were deliberately mean-spirited, like the old battle-axe *****tired in my office who came back to visit, saw me after a 40 lb. loss and her only comment was "I guess slow loss is best, huh?"  Beeyotch.

Having said that, I think most people don't realize when they're saying something hurtful, and we ARE oversensitive, sometimes.  I think she probably thought you'd be all excited to know she thought you looked younger and thinner, in her mind.  Most people mean well, it just come out in an awkward way.
                
Linda B.
on 4/3/11 12:33 pm
All I can say is ....People gotta love em.
And by the way can you tel me anything about the hormone thing you mentioned? I've seen several references to it and I wonder what it is all about
SassyItalian
on 4/3/11 12:42 pm - Basseterre, St. Kitts and Nevis
I call it "Raging Crazy B*tch-itis"- I caught a baaaad case of it post op

From what I have heard losing your fat stores releases hormones into the system (estrogen?) which can make some people very moody, depressed, manic.

I actually had to go back on anti-depressants because my moods were so up and down. I have only used anti-depressants twice before in my life for short periods of situational depression and this was one of the times I finally had to suck it up and ask the doctor to script me some Zoloft STAT. I am actually feeling alot less moody but still have my days and moments..

If you have a significant other I strongly suggest you prepare them now so they arent freaked out by the possible storm headed their way...
Susan M.
on 4/3/11 12:43 pm
 I think this is funny! Certainly people don't purposefully mean to be hurtful and usually say things like this, thinking they're paying us compliments.  On the other hand, it has to be fun to have people telling you how great you look.  Your picture is fantastic and so sexy.  Keep up the good work. I hope I'll have a picture this good in a few months. :)
Kelby F.
on 4/3/11 12:46 pm - Minot, ND
First.. you look amazing in your pic!!!!! 

Sometimes I just wish people could say, "wow you've lost a lot of weight.. you look great" and leave it at that. Don't throw in some comarison that you're starting to look like you did before... 

~Kelby~       HW: 356 SW: 330 CW:231 GW: 175 I'm 5'6"

"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."

SassyItalian
on 4/3/11 12:48 pm - Basseterre, St. Kitts and Nevis
thanks for the posts, guys. It feels better just venting (sorry, ive been doing alot of venting lately).

I know it was not meant to be hurtful..I think I am very sensitive in general to comments about my weight...

I love my new suit though and wanted to show it off, and my new camera ..thanks for the compliments!

           
                       HW: 258lbs  SW: 240   CW: 140  I am 5 foot 7 and 30 years old               
                 VSG 12/21/10  Plastics: Tummy tuck, breast lift, and augmentation 11/3/11
                                             Soon to be veterinarian!! xoxo
                                                     

NewDawn50
on 4/3/11 12:49 pm
Sassy, I was in full-throated woman-warrior cry when I got home from the hospital.  My husband looked at me with a look that said "Dear God, not menopause again..."
                
(deactivated member)
on 4/3/11 1:04 pm
As a guy I sure hope my weight loss didn't cause a storm of estrogen loose in my system :).

But most people mean no harm with their comments, I personally will always identify myself as a fat guy...I'm not sure anyone else understands that since I've slimmed up so much.

Try to always take the positive side of any comments, and if anyone gets outta line give 'em the finger literally or figuratively and keep rollin :)

I've been running into people I haven't seen in six months or a year...their reactions are priceless, keep in mind also your success plays on other people's insecurities...keep doin what you're doing and be good with you.
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