Very Discouraged.. 3 years out

Hey Jamie,
I wanted to say to congratulations on your new little guy - what a wonderful thing!!!!

I also wanted to comment on your doctor's words:
Saw the doctor and he said it was going ot be extremely difficult to lose the weight again and since seeing him have gained 10lbs.

OK.  Doctors at the end of the day, are just people.  And like all people (even me!) we all say really, really stupid things.  Telling you is going to be extremely difficult, instead of supporting you was a really STUPID thing for him to say.

- you still have a much, MUCH smaller stomach than you did before you lost all the weight. 
-Your body still produces less ghrelin than it did before your vsg, although more than the first year after the surgery.
-You are in a MUCH better postition now to get control over your weight and eating issues than you were 4 years ago - even after having your baby
And finally - you have MUCH less weight to lose than you did before

I don't know why your doctor is such a pessimist, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he is just one of those debbie-downers, who knows.

BUT, this isn't to say it's going to be easy.  I am not saying that.  But I AM saying it's totally possible for you to do this.  And you have to believe in yourself and in your sleeve. 

Just think - before your sleeve, had you become pregnant - imagine just how much weight you would have gained!!  You only gained 50lbs!  That is awesome.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  The fact that you gained the last 10lbs after your doctor told you it was 'extremely difficult' to lose the weight, says to me that he psychologically took away your power.  Don't give him that power.  He's not a god, he's just a doctor, and doctors are not always right.

Lastly, is there a chance you are suffering from post-partum depression?  No matter how joyous having a child is, you can still get depressed.  I had ppd with my third child, I didn't realize it - it took my husband holding my hands and looking me in the eye, and telling me how much he loved me, and that he knew I was depressed and it wasn't my fault, and we would work it through it together.  I felt guilty to be depressed, because having my son was such a miracle.  But it was hormonal, and it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't his fault either.  Think of it as getting any other medical problem that has to be treated.

There is some great advice from folks here.  Stay on the boards, start journalling your food, start weighing yourself everyday, and remember this - you can do this!   It's not impossible.  It may be hard, but you have proven already in your life, that you can handle hard times.

Sending out a huge hug to you!!! (and kick in the pants to your doctor!hehe)
xoxo
Mel

You all are so fantastic and you all are so right. You brought me to tears and REALLY helped me alot. I'll have to look into the 5 day pouch tests i have never heard of that. I am still nursing but not enough to help with weight loss since it's mostly at night which means not enough sleep for me which also leads into be tired/depressed. I joined Jazzercise a few weeks ago and take my son for walks also but I find excuses not to go then I get depressed thinking how selfish I am not taking care of myself..But NO MORE!
My husband has been gone to the Middleast for 6 weeks so I think that has added to all this he will be back Tuesday and is a huge support. I just feel so ashamed.
One other thing I will have to continue to struggle with is I can't get rid of everything in my house because we can't talk about weight etc because While I was in the process of my first year of weight loss my teenage daughter deveolped anorexia and got diagnosed the same week I found out I was pregnant so part of her treatment was us all eating together. There were to be no BAD foods as she called them. ANyhow it was  just a bad cycle and a tough few years for her. SHe is doing well and will be living on campus at college in the 2010 school year.
But NO MORE excuses. High protein, Low carbs and my sugar free koolaid.
Really really thank you all so much and sorry for typos my little guy is running around here while I'm typing.
Off to search for the pouch test info

XOXOXO
Jamie

All the posts ahead of me said it all, however, what I most want you to get from us is that you are not alone anymore.  We are all here for you from now on.  Just reach out and we will chear you, encourage you, push you, whatever you need to get back to your goal.  Congradulation on finding this place and taking your first step. 

Elina

Hugs hon - you can do this!!  PM me anytime.


One other thing - a new study in the Journal Obesity was published last week, it was in rats, so bear that in mind.  But they fed half the rats when they were supposed to be sleeping, and half fed at normal times.  The sleep deprived rats gained over 2 and half times the weight of the normal rats, even though their caloric intake was the SAME. 

alevelpsychology.co.uk/news/eating-behaviour/late-night-eati ng-leads-to-weight-gain.html
www.news-medical.net/news/20090904/Eating-at-irregular-times -influences-weight-gain.aspx

Once you start getting rest at night it will help too.  And any bit of nursing will help burn more calories as well. Is there anyway you can pump milk during the day and bottle feed him your milk at night?  Anyway, just a thought :)  You are dealing with so much - all in all - you have already done a great job!!!!

Kudos to you!!!

You need to get back on program.  It's that simpl, and that hard.

You need to get back to basics, and treat yourself exactly as if you had your sleeve yeaterday.

Get 70 grams of protein, very low carb, very low fat foods, drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water every day and exercise regularly.  If necessary, go back to protein shakes for at least two meals a day.

The sleeve does not guarantee weight loss.  You can overcome it, as you are doing now.  In order to lose the weight, you just have to get back to basics and follow a weight loss diet.

Then, you have to maintain by eating a healthy diet for the rest of your life.

You CAN do this.  It's in YOUR control, and if you really want it, you will do what you know you need to do.

And your doctor should be shot for saying something like that to you.  He is wrong, it will NOT be extremely difficult to lose the weight, it will be exactly as difficult as it was the first time around.  Except that this time, you know what to do.

NOW, GET OUT THERE, GET RID OF ALL OF THE "BAD" FOODS AND DO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO DO!

"You CAN do this.  It's in YOUR control, and if you really want it, you will do what you know you need to do.

And your doctor should be shot for saying something like that to you.  He is wrong, it will NOT be extremely difficult to lose the weight, it will be exactly as difficult as it was the first time around.  Except that this time, you know what to do."

Hell Oldmedic, I can`t believe that you really believe the rubbish you are posting here. Loosing weight after a regain is certainly SOOOO much more difficult then loosing it directly after surgery. First, you all may deny it, but it is scientifically proven that after each crash diet the body adjusts and it gets even more difficult to loose weight each time. That`s called yo-yo-diet, unless you havn`t heard of this. Second, you can`t help but loosing weight in the first months after surgery because you`re physically NOT able to eat more then a few bites and a few hundred calories. That is a VERY different situation from being serveral years out.

Jamie, you got great advice, and I hope very much you`ll be able to loose the pounds or at least stop gaining. If you still have restriction, it should indeed be a lot easier to loose the weight now then pre-op with the high protein - low carb approach. If you try everything you`ve been told to do and it doesn`t work, there are surgical options (making the sleeve smaller again or adding malabsorbation), but you may not need it.

All the best!!

So

Hey Jamie.

Congrats to you for facing your fears about this weight loss journey. To me it doesn't matter how many times one has to revisit his issues...what matters is the fact that you have.

None of it is easy, but we all now it's doable...go back to the beginning (like everyone has said) and start handling your business. You'll see the results before you know it.

God bless and good luck on your journey...and remember that your OH family is here.

Hi Jamie. I'm so glad you had the courage to post about this on here. That's such a good sign that you've taken this step to talk about what's going on with you and are seeking our help. Kudos to you for that!

Disclaimer: I'm not your doctor, so the advice I'm about to give you needs to be verified by your doctor (and from what you've said here, I'd recommend possibly finding a new doctor, or getting a second opinion, at least). Like peanutfreemom said, it sounds like you may be depressed. Things you've said here that suggest depression include your feelings of shame, sleeping difficulties and general lack of energy, and possible self-medication with certain foods (some of which can temporarily "lift" your mood when eaten). It isn't your fault that you're depressed, and it sounds like it might be biochemical and situational. The biochemical part, which can be treated with medication, could be because your hormones may have changed post-partum, plus a genetic connection, considering your daughter has had anorexia. The situational part includes not having your husband there (that would be hard!), and possible concern for your daughter and the upcoming transition of her moving away to college, among other possible things.

If I'm correct, I think getting treatment for your depression (possibly including medication and counseling) will be very helpful for you to feel better about things in general, which will also help you apply those healthy habits you need to lose the weight. It may especially help with weight loss if part of it is due to a biochemical/hormonal imbalance that can be corrected with medication. I've dealt with depression; it's nothing to be ashamed of; and I know how hard it is to merely function and get through each day when the depression isn't being treated adequately. There is hope, though. It can get better.