So overwhelmed, hard to communicate

Can u read my last blog?  I need help.  Just don't know what to do anymore.  Don't know what to say anymore or to who.  I'm 1 1/2 yrs. post-op, lost 93 lbs. in first yr. then gained about 25 since.  I don't feel like i have a life anymore (pls see blog).  I almost feel like it is a waste to talk about this or reach out for help.  I am in psychotherapy once week (for the last 18 yrs.), I'm on anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, and anti-psychotics.  I have a psychiatrist.  I am having trouble getting in contact with my nutritionist.  On any given day if I'm away from the stresses of my life, i can be full (actually "register" it) within a few bites of food.  I was in a psych. hospital in July and did just fine with my eating AND lost weight within 5 days bec i was able to work on myself and was away from family-type stress.  Just don't know what to do anymore.  Suggestions??

tks

What have your therapy doctor recommends? They might know you more than we do.

Normally there is a root to anxiety and depression. For me it's over welmed and too busy.

So one thing I am doing is not committing to anything in my LIFE period that is going to extermly overwelm me. Because I am the one that is stressed out .

I am one that likes to help out, and I am put last on the list.

So for me it was a mind set change.

I am learning to enjoy life, not just "do" life .

Again this is for me, I don't know if this information helps you or not.

Thank u for ur response.  Unfortunately, taking care of the needs and behaviors of our special needs son is usually first on our list.  It's overwhelming for me and my husband, but we just continue to carry on in a "survival mode".

I do like the idea of enjoying life and not just "doing" life.  Gives me something to think about and a possible goal.

tks again for ur input!\

Candace (real name)

Yes, I can read your blog.  Your coming to this site is a great start.  Sounds like you are aware of your eating, which is also a good start to making changes.  I know how tough it can be, like you have read before, carbs seem to make you crave more carbs,.  I was reading today that carbs also help with the seratonin levels, so in controlled portions they can help, eat complex carbs, not refined sugar & flour.  Your life sounds very challenging, I don't have any answers but feel for you and will say a prayer for strength and healing, you have alot on your plate!

Carbs for me are too easy to eat.  You could try the 5 day pouch test  www.5daypouchtest.com to get control. Many use it to get back on track or break a stall.  

If you can log or track your food it will help when you talk to the NUT.  Sounds like when you are ready, your tool will work for you.  I don't have any experience with your issues, but are their Social Services that can help with respite care?  Exercise can really help stress.  Can you do VIdeos' at home? or take your child our for walks? Sometimes just getting outside and getting fresh air can help clear my mind.  Or does you Knee make it so you can't exercise?   

I'll put you in my prayers. 

Ter

 

Oh, thank you so much!  Thanks for the prayers, too.  I believe in prayer.  Love the 5 day pouch test idea!  I hadn't heard of that before.  It looks very do-able.  If i can commit to these 5 days and just concentrate on that then, then i can really imagine a good possibility of being back on track.

Yes, i get re-imbursed by Dept. of Dev. Dis. for respite, but having a hard time finding and keeping a capable and acceptable worker.  I do need to excercise.  I like being outside, so probably need to see more of that.

Again, thank u so much!  I appreciate it!  :)

Candace (FYI:  screen name "Kahne" but wud like to change to my real name, don't know if possible)

Candace

What I liked about the 5 day pouch test, is that you can eat, you just can only have certain things on certain days. It helps you get in touch with your tummy tool!!  When you are ready, do it (or what ever plan you choose) the best you can, biggest thing is to stay away from carbs to break the carb craving cycle.  We don't have to be perfect, Don't give up!  Just do what you can when you are ready.  Keep at it, it is a stuggle for many of us, the habits and issues we have take work. I am amazed at how easy those bad habits can pop back.   Right now I am fighting the urge to graze.  I think that many times when I think I am hungry, I am really thirsty... so I am making myself drink 12oz of water, then waiting 15-20 mins to see if I am really hungry,  usually not, guess it is as head hunger thing for me.

Take Care

Ter 

I have read your blog, and I really feel for you.  I am not a professional, so I can't really help, but I can say that you are a VERY strong person, and you WILL make it through.  Just look for little things, day by day.  Like your son will feel better soon and be back in school and you will have those precious few hours to your self again.  Trust me I know how important that can be!  And although its tough when you can't spend alot of time with your hubby (I totally inderstand that one), at least you know you love each other and things will eventually get better- you should talk to him and tell him you need to figure out how to make more time for each other- make sure he knows what you are going through day to day too.  Please let me know if you ever just need someone to vent or talk to.  There is nothing worse than feeling alone.

Thank you so much for responding.  I find your words comforting, and u seem quite understanding.  I appreciate ur help and support!  tks again!

Candace (real name)

Hi hun, Iam off to read your blog, but just wanted to say hello...We have a special needs child also.  Hang in there, you can find good help here  I'll PM ya after I read your blog

Hi Candace-

I just wanted to chime in and let you know that I'm sending you light, prayers and lots of angels to help you on your journey. You really are in an extraordinary situation. You are dealing with so much more than most people navigate. You are amazingly strong, and the love for your husband and son shine through your words.

Have you found a support group for other parents of special needs children? All of you are my heros! I can't imagine what it takes to need to care for a child 24/7. You are angels incarnated. I would imagine that there is comfort in talking to others who are experiencing the same thing as you regarding your son. Just as we find comfort in coming here to talk with others about our challenges with weight.

You're not alone in this. You are doing a wonderful job with your son. I can feel how much he loves you and the gratitude he feels for you.

Regarding your own self-care, first off, please be kind to yourself. Let yourself off the hook for not "being perfect" with the sleeve. You are doing the best that you can. The good news is that you have the sleeve and it is continuing to help you, especially through the rough patches. Think of how wonderful it will be when you are ready to really dive in with it again.

I know this is a little off topic, but I love to use Doreen Virtue's Healing with the Angels card deck when I need some guidance from the angels. I hope it's OK -- I asked the angels to help me pull a card for you... the card that came forward is "Self-Acceptance" and the message is, "You are a perfect child of God and every part of you is wonderful. Your angels guide you to let go of negative self-judgments and to enjoy being you! 'You are much too hard on yourself,' your angels say to you through this card.... They love you unconditionally, and they ask you to love yourself in the same way!"

(I hope that it's OK to have shared this... I realize angels aren't everybody's thing, but the message is sent with lots of love and support)

With Blessings, Laurel