Am I crashing? I need help pls!

I just want to give you a hug and let you know that you are not alone.  I agree with the others that you need to speak with your Dr. about your feelings.  So many changes happen with rapid weight loss and not all of them good.  But there is help and you deserve to feel better. Take care

Kahne you do not have to go backwards you can start now believing in yourself and go forward,you are not the only one to slip God is still in control.Go back to your basics as far as your diet,talk to your medical Dr.Let him know how you feel.Tomorrow is a good day,get a new start.Come to the boards often and express your feeling,we are here for you.Lov ya.

My heart goes out to you right now.  It sounds like the weight gain is not that much yet, but you are on a self destructive slide and unless you get some help immediately it will just get harder and harder to turn things around.  You MUST GO TO A DOCTOR and ask for help, just like you did here on this board.  There is no shame in taking antidepressants and it could just be a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected.  Until you get this depression under control I don't think you will be able to get your life under control.  Please seek help and come here as often as you like, use us as your sounding board. Big hugs to you Jackie 

Kahne, PLEEEEEASE come to our support group.  We meet in Baton Rouge at 6:00 pm every Wednesday at the Women's Center for Wellness on the corner of Bluebonnet and Jefferson Hwy.  Enter thru the Jefferson Hwy. door, take the first mini-hallway to your left, voile'...straight ahead.  We'd love to have you, bring a guest if you wish.  We discuss the many topics that plague all of us at some time or the other.  We have so much fun, we literally hate for the meetings to be over.  Please come.   

Hey!  I use to go to it when it was near Vista.  They had a "speaker" there one night who said all the wrong things, i got overwhelmed.  Found out later that the staff was NOT happy with him!!  And then i was still ticked off bec the nutritionist who was there when i had my surgery was misleading, unethical, confusing, said things opposite of what the doctor said, and she had issues of her own!  She has since left.  I felt betrayed by that stuff.  I had a LONG talk with Holly about these things some months ago.  She was very, very helpful, though I did not go back to the group.  Not blaming the group of course!  I was just tired of hearing conflicting "professional" advice and guidance from the same place.  I need to just get over that!  I do need group.  I know where u r talking about, though have not been to group since it moved there.  I do assume that's the same one from next to Vista, right??  Now my only, but big, obstacle will be finding a sitter for my son!  Group is until 7 pm?

Hi Kahne-n-LA, Times like these are rough ut you'll get thru this.  My best to you, Lynn

Kahne,

Have you considered that the things that have happened to you in the last 6 months have affected you more than you realize?

You down play it quite a bit, but you did say "life changing" and that they have really changed your perspective on things. Also, you've had to re-arrange your life. They may, in the end, be positive, as you say. My concern is that you've given up taking care of yourself in order to deal with those changes.

Is it anything you care to talk about here? This group is an amazing support system if you want to talk. If not, find someone you can talk to.

We're here for you when you need us.

Yes, that's what i think is really going on for the most part.  And i just can't seem to shake it and i'm still adjusting into this "new" person that I'll become bec of these life-changing events.  WOW!  One of your statements REALLY hit me!  And then i had to read it again, and again for it to continue to sink in.  Your WOW statement for me:  "My concern is that you've given up taking care of yourself in order to deal with those changes."  It's still has not fully sunk in, but u really got my attention with it!  Tks!

Kahne, Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Take it little by little, girl. =) Dorothy

Thanks u all!  With each post i read my eyes started to RE-water.  I am in weekly therapy.  I have a standing 10:00 appt. on Tuesdays.  I've been in therapy for almost 21 yrs.  Been on meds. for about the same amt. of time.  My meds. had really been working well for me.  U see this is one of the GOOD things that ended up getting me to this spot.  It's really weird!  Like my meds were doing so good for me, then a good thing happened.  I lost a lot of weight, then my meds. were screwed up bec it was too much meds. for my smaller body and plus I was feeling better with losing weight so didn't need as much.  So a GOOD thing turned into my meds possibly being screwed a bit. This past Nov., my husband was involved in a wreck.  He was riding his motorcycle home from work one morning when it was still dark and he ran into a deer in the road!  I KNOW I cud have losts him then.  I feel so incredibly blessed that he survived this and he's totally healable.  He was out of work for 3 months bec of his injuries.  He's back at work.  His collar bone is still healing.  So that was a GOOD thing that we were blessed with his survival and healing.  In turn, it put my life into perspective.  Priorities seem different now.  I'm still real emotional about the wreck.  I mean, I'll never forget that day and the days after while I took care of him.  I got a call at 6:29 on a Friday a.m. and it was a friend and co-worker of my husband's telling me that my husband hit a deer while on his motorcycle and that he was conscious, and talking and being loaded into the ambulance and going to the E.R.  I'm still so emotional about the whole ordeal and still cry talking about it and my husband is just fine now (except for the good healing collar bone). Then a GOOD thing happened, I lost A LOT of weight.  In turn I had sagging skin that grossed me out.  My middle back and sides hurt I think bec of the arrangement of so much heavy skin pulling from there.  Then just to pee, I have to lift up all my abdomen skin and press against my bladder to be able to pee efficiently.  My lower back hurts, but there's so much skin hanging from my back, butt, and thighs that I think pulls on my back.  There's so much sagging skin around my private area that it's hard to even locate stuff, if u know what i mean.  I can't wear regular pants, jeans, shorts, etc.  I try to get maternity pants bec they're elastic and the elastic is very wide and gentle on my delicate extra abdomen skin.  Regular pants hurt my abdomen.  Not inside.  It just feels like it digs into me.  Got down bec of all of these skin problems and wanting surgery for it, but I can't imagine what people wud say if they found out i was having ANOTHER surgery.  Plus we stay in medical debt between me having so many surgeries thoughout the yrs. (3 L knee surgeries including one reconstructive, and one to remove a screw from my knee a yr. later bec it worked it's way out, gall bladder removed, tonsils removed as an adult, c-section, tubal ligation, breast reduction, WLS, and i just had surgery on my L hand for trigger finger and carpal tunnel, and when the L hand heals, my R hand needs the exact same thing).  And I'm only 37 yrs. old.  I feel guilty about all those surgeries AND wanting to have skin removed when we had to take out a loan to pay for my WLS bec my ins. wud pay zip and we still have another 4 yrs. to pay on that surgery (plus the motorcycle that my husband had bought and totalled). Then we have a 9 1/2 yrs. old special needs son.  He's our only child.  He wears me out and I get stressed with all of his "stuff" and appts.  Don't presently have a respite worker.  The GREAT and WONDERFUL thing with him is that he just got potty trained this yr. (2008).  Yes, we've  been working on this for about 6 yrs.  Not fun!  And just this yr. (2008), our son FINALLY for the first time starting sleeping in his bed all night and not in MINE EVERY NIGHT!!   So these are GREAT things.  In turn I suddenly am not sure exactly what role to play with my growing up son.  I'm lost.  I'm thinking, what am i suppose to work on next with him?! Plus I have a lot of stress with my son and taking care of his needs.  And he's financially draining as well.  AND we make too much $ to get any financial assistance, but not enough to EVER get out of medical financial debt!!!  EVER!! I lost a lot of weight and that was totally AWESOME and my self-esteem was better, (I thought), and i felt great physically and have so much more energy, was healthier so i cud then finally focus on other things in life and it was great!  I opened up.  My mind opened up.  I was able to reach out to other people.  I cud finally see beyond MYSELF.  My life had been filled for so long with stress and poor health and weight problems and i lost weight and that turned around.  So now i feel like i'm just here.  like , now what?!  i may be thinking that i must create chaos to survive like i'm use to.  I wonder if i'm trying to sabotage myself by eating bec everything is going so good I can't handle it.  I was actually thinking, "Good. (sorta) If i gain weight i won't have all this ugly bulging saggy skin."  That's insane!  I'd much rather have weight in loose skin than weight in fat! Can anyone understand all of this?  It seems like things started going so good that i didn't know what i was suppose to do next and maybe panicked and went back to past behavior. Thoughts?  Comments?  Suggestions?  THANKS AGAIN!! Kahne-n-LA