Took a Deep Breath ..

Ok .. After my episode yesterday and yes I am calling it an episode .. I have gathered my thoughts and stayed up most of the night planning .. Is what I do . After talking to a lot from the board yesteday.. either on line or by phone , it has jarred me from my very soul . Knowing that this surgery is so very important to me , I lost site of what is really important to me . That is my sanity .. I started this journey at 310 pounds .. almost dead .. you hear stories about peoples co-morbidities and really do not get the grasp of it until it is you . I came here with probably 5 years left on my life .. and really folks plastic surgery should be my last ambition . I have worked too hard to let anything like this stop me and those that truly know me - know I am not a quiter . I guess what angered me so is that as an Obese person , I spent my life fighting for everyting .. jobs.. relationships .. freinds .. and I guess yesterday - it just seemed like one more fight I will have to go through .. and honestly I felt exhausted .. If you ever had your wind sucked out of you .. well I experienced that yesterday .. it literally took my breath .. Now in saying that .. you can bet your sweet patuties .. I am on my high horse today and will be fighting for what is mine . You guys really do know me .. sometimes better that I know myself and your words of encouragement left me in tears .. Thank you from the bottom of my heart .. for being there for me .. And Kat .. it was your email that shook my soul girl .. Damn !!! Put me in my place and woke me slam up .. Thank you so so much .. you reminded me of who I am .. Thank you .. Love you all ! Natalie