Jealous friends and family?

Is this common for any of you? I have a friend that told me that she might just have to stop hanging out with me because I would look better than her eventually. I know she was joking BUT that kinda hurt however; I know she is truely jealous. I told her to just keep up what she is doing and her and I will help each other along the way. She is nowhere near WLS but she is going to the gym and eating healthy to lose the 40 lbs she has recently gained. Then to make matters worse I went to my grandparents house (they know about the WLS) and my Gram continued to shake her head and ask "why can't you jus****ch what you eat?" Coming from the same woman who called me "fatso" when I was young and laughed after she said that while poking at a nice roll around my waist. Why can't people just be happy for me? This is a chance at a NEW LIFE for me a REBIRTH! I know that I need to stay away from the people who are negitive about this but when it comes to them being very close family what do you do? I am sure this is a common issue. Any suggestions? Thanks! Hugs! Shele

Hi Shele....Don't let it get to you....you have made a choice to have this surgery and they will have to learn to live with it...they have no clue how hard it is to "watch what you eat". For 6 months before surgery I walked and kept to a 1000 calorie diet and only lost 17 pounds....it is so hard...I know, I have been there many times. You will have the surgery and be thankful for the new life...if friends don't want to be your friend, you will have plenty from here. Hugs, Betsy

Aww Betsy. Thanks so much for the support. I have been asked to lose 15 lbs before surgery. I know this is a very small amount compared to what some ppl have to lose to get this surgery but I really am struggleing! The last time I lost 15 lbs it was when I was ...eh. I can't even remember. The most difficult part is the restrictions I have on exercise. Eh! It will come off or it won't. I can only try! *smiles* I am full of hope right now so I am not going to let anything break my stride. Love.. Shele

Shele, Welcome to the board and soon to VA. This is a wonderful board and a great bunch of people that are ALWAYS willing to help. I have lost several "friends" and have had several rude and/or mean comments from family members...like I guess I can't call you my "bigg little sister". They just do not think before they speak and sometimes I think they are jealous. I have replaced all of the "lost" friends with new and improved ones on here and have spoken with the inconsiderate family members as well. I feel much better now and I know I am healthier. Try and surround yourself with positive people and come back here often! Tammy C almost one year post op -191 pounds

Hi Shele, I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It's called human nature. I was so close with a niece who is overweight. After I lost the first 50 pounds she quit calling me and it's uncomfortable to be around her. I hate to say she's jealous. I guess it's just the way we humans process things. I would be very happy for someone who lost weight and got healthy even if I still was big, but some poeple can't handle it. It does bother me when 2 out of 4 of my sisters don't even comment on how I look, but I am smaller than them now and that's the first time in 43 years that their little sister is smaller than them and it's hard for them to deal with, I guess. Sometimes staying away from these kind of people just isn't feasable. Just compliment yourself. I find that I have to be my own cheerleader at these times. It still bothers me that you know some one can see the major weight loss you've had and not comment...but it's gonna happen. Stay strong! Best of luck.

Shele, I know where you are coming from 100%. My best friend whose "weight Problem" is loosing 16 pounds, said to me " well that means you will be skinnier than me", when I told her about my decision to have wls. I have not told my size 6 family either because they have never had weigh issues. Now on my mommas side, they are heavy but Happy to be so. They would not say any thing one way or the other. You just need to think positive and stay focused on you. You are going to be healthier, happier and the better for it. People who are thin and always have been just don't get it. If you want, I will tell them to kiss it for ya! Keep your head up girl! Cindy